Tuesday, September 12, 2006

It is White Trash Central!

Today after my appt. (where she told me I was ready to be induced) I decided to venture out to pick up a few neccessities. I needed laundry soap and english muffin toasting bread (which I eat for every meal) and other odds and ends. So where do you think I went to get it all? That's right, the store that brings out America's finest, Wal-Mart.

I am over 39 weeks pregnant, my fuse is pretty damn short and I was ready to do some bitch-slappin'. But someone has to be the bigger person in a situation, so today I tried my best to be the better and of course bigger person since I am hugely pregnant. Here is how the situation unfolded...

We are done picking up our few things and are heading to the checkouts. Mason spots a new Thomas movie that comes with a free train. It is a crate that says, Wal-Mart. So now apparently Thomas the Train and Wal-Mart are partnering up, NICE! Mason immediately starts freaking out about the movie, and I am totally unwilling to give in. He squeals a ear piiercing squeal and I am still not budging except for looking for the quickest checkout isle. Unfortunately there were two very old ladies infront of us that were witnesses to the screaming and they stopped and turned around to stare. One of them actually covered her ears and said, "Oh Gosh!" Three feet in front of me, to my face!

Oh no she didn't.

It boiled my blood and I lost it. I looked at the two women and said, "He is a child!" in a not very nice tone. The lady looked back at me and said, "And so is his Mother!"

There were so many things that I wanted to scream back at them, but I bit my tongue. I had pity because they were so old, don't ask me why. I just knew I needed to get the hell out before I went even more hormonal on them.

When Pedro came home for lunch, I sheepishly told him what happened. He said, "Good thing I wasn't with you, I would've said something really shocking." After that, we sat around brainstorming all the awesome things I could've said.

*Look Mason, Halloween brings out all the witches!
*Maybe you just need to turn down your Miracle Ear!
*Mason, I hope you never let me get that old and crotchety.

Again, remind me why I still shop at Wal-Mart?
Bitches.

9 comments:

Crunchy Domestic Goddess said...

LOL at your possible comebacks.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that though. I am sure I would've either lost it and said something I'd regret later or broke down in tears.
Walmart is a scary place.

BlueGoddess said...

That is too funny. Wally World is a funny funny place to be. And right now you have every right to go off on those old bitty's.

Good luck on the delivery!

Christy J said...

Girl I'm not pregnant and I would've said some shit. People just don't think before they speak.

Bitches.

Gretchen said...

Hehe - miracle ear. Too funny. I think it is a pre-requisite to giving birth that you take a trip to Walmart. I went around 39weeks, and haven't been back in over 5 months. Sorry you had that run in with the old biddies.

Silly Hily said...

Oh hell no she didn't say that!
I hate Walmart but you know what, that could have happened anywhere. People who don't have small children seem to foget that kids are kids and will do those things no matter what sometimes.
You should have broke down in tears. That would have (or should have) made them feel like shit.
I think I would have said, "Oh, I'm sorry, you are one of those women that had perfect children aren't you?"

Silly Hily said...

Oh hell no she didn't!
I hate Walmart but that could have happened anywhere.
You should have broke down and started crying. That should have made them feel like shit.
I think I would have said, "Oh, bless your little heart, you had perfect children didn't you?"

CozyMama said...

cute blog and great prego shot below, found you thru cubmommy. oh yeah I like Walmart!!!

Rachel (Crazy-Is) said...

Checkin out your blog and OMG I would not have had that kinda retraint, girl. My pregnancy hormones were CA RAZY!! Who am I kidding, they still are and I gave birth 8 months ago.

Amanda said...

wal mart is the crux of all evil. not saddam or bin ladden, but wal mart.