My Syndrome.

Tomorrow is a big day, it is my 28th birthday. I plan on staying home and eating cake, lots of freakin' cake. My husband came home for lunch, and I made sure to put in my request,
"I decided what kind of cake I want for my birthday. I huge chocolate chip cookie!"

I have always had this annoying tendancy to use "My Birthday" for all it is worth. I vividly remember a college roomate saying, "Oh your one of those on your Birthday." Yes everyone, I am. I love to get breakfast in bed, the laundry folded, and any other tasks I hate to do on a daily basis done for me. I even went so far as saying to my husband, "Are you going to leave all your lunch stuff out for me to clean-up? Tomorrow is my birthday." It's Ok, you don't have to read that last line twice, it really didn't make sense anyway! I will not be going out, I probably won't even have a glass of wine (because it still messes with my boy's sleep). I'll be at home tomorrow with the two most important men in my life. That is if I don't annoy them out of the house with my crazy birthday syndrome.
note: I really am not 12 but. . . I just did spell check and freakin came up with suggestion to change to foreskin. bahaha

Swimmin'

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Originally uploaded by glamgranola.

It is miserable here. All the snow has melted and instead it is windy and pouring rain! Sometimes I question what the hell I was thinking to move from warm and sunny Florida to cold and wet Wisconsin. So, to brighten up my day and whoever else it experiencing winter weather. . .I give you this!

A Spark of Holiday Spirit

I know a few of us bloggers have written about random people that give random comments, that tend to offend us in some way. When I say random, I mean just that, someone we have never seen or talked to in our lives. Since it seems to be so easy for me to point out the negative, I just have to tell you what I saw today.

My mom and I weren't brave enough to fight the crowds yesterday, but some how we were today. That 24 hours didn't make it a whole lot better! So, we were at TJMaxx and it was packed. It was crowded and loud and, ugh, just chaotic. But amongst all the clatter of the shoppers you could hear a little girl, screaming, really screaming, an all out meltdown. She wanted something and her mom apparently said no which sent the girl into a fit of rage. The Mom of this little girl stayed very calm and stuck to her guns, not willing to give in. She ignored the fit, tried to distract the little girl, but nothing worked. After about 5 minutes you could see the mom becoming defeated. Her cheeks where red as tomatoes and her neck and chest where a blotchy reddish/purplish color from embarrassment. Everyone was looking at this point. Some rolling their eyes wondering why she wasn't "taking care" of the situation, others trying to help graciously. But there was this one woman, probably in her 70's that walked by the mom and quietly said, "It is OK, we've all been there. Just relax." It seemed like the sweetest, most perfect thing to say to the desperate mom. I am not sure what the mom ended up doing after that, I was so taken back by the older woman. I guess it just hit really close to home. It is nice to know that there are people out there that realize how difficult it can be to raise a "spirited" child. I have to admit also that I was extremely happy to have left my spirited child at home with his spirited dad.

Holiday Shmoliday bla bla bla. . .

At what point do holidays stop being days we look forward to and start becoming the dreaded days?
I feel sort of bad about his. I guess I feel sort of selfish. I mean, everyone needs a piece of you and you give all this time and travel and energy, and what part do you have left to enjoy? Then of course there is the whole part about feeling guilty. "What if we spend 5.6 hours with one side of the family and 8.3 with the other? Will the 5.6 side be offended?" Blah, blah, blah. I have been with my husband for 6 years now, and this whole thing should be figured out by now, right? Wrong. It causes more stress now than ever since there is a little person involved. I sometimes just wish there was a rule book for the married couple. It would read something like this...
1. Holidays with that end with -day are strictly optional. You don't feel like participation, don't.
2. You got a kid? You decide how you want to celebrate with your child.
3. Starting your own traditions are very important! No questions asked.
4. etc. etc.

I have been scouring every book store to find such a handbook, but no such luck. Until then, you can find me at the butcher. You want a piece of me too? There is an ass muscle that hasn't been claimed yet and is up for grabs!

Scrooge
-signing off

Victoria's Secret...Here I Come !

Let me paint a picture if I can. . . hot pink floral capris at least 2 sizes too big, blue worn-out college t-shirt, and last but not least my suede slipper boots. OK, so I would even admit I probably didn't look quite hot enough to be a Victoria's Secret model, but I didn't think I looked that bad. Maybe in was the falling out ponytail on the top of my head. . .what ever it was apparently was not real fly!
It was around 9 pm and I was getting ready for bed in the bathroom, bent over the sink spitting out a wad of foam. I could feel someone staring at me, only one person looks at me around that time of night. . .night time nooky! Oh how wrong I was. When I looked over to meet the gazing eyes of my husband, he was looking at me in awe, laughing!
"What are you wearing!"
"Pajamas!"
"Where is the camera? I've get to get a picture."
Only then did I look down and notice how trashy I looked. I was embarrassed for a second that my own husband was seeing my like this! But I had a reputation to keep. . .
"Don't you dare take a picture or I'll hurt you!"
I didn't take them off though. For some reason, I needed to have one last night with my duds. Needless too say, there was no nookie had in this house.
So last night, I went out by myself and bought some new PJ's. Nothing sexy, but better than what I was wearing. Hopefully now my husband can look at me without laughing!

By the way Pedro, no chance I am giving up my booties!

I try to do the right thing. . . Really!

**For word: I am sorry if this may offend, but this is MY outlet and a girl needs to vent before she blows!

Two days ago, I get a call from my husband who was at work. He was calling because his older brother had called and asked him when we were planning on celebrating Mason's 2nd Birthday. Yes, I know, we needed to get on top of it anyway being it was a little over a month away. . .but who does that. I would never call someone and ask when they planned on having a party, what if they didn't plan on inviting me! Well of course we would have invited him, I just didn't think it was very appropriate. So. . .We decided that we'd have a get together on Mason's actual Birthday since it was a Saturday. What better day for a party than a Saturday, right? Well that is what we thought. We've been brainstorming about what we plan on doing and talked a little about it this morning when my over-polite husband says,
"Oh, by the way. . .we are suppose to switch the date for Mason's party because my Dad's christmas party is that day."
All I could say is,
"Are you serious? Well then just let me know when it works for everyone to have the party and we'll have it then."
Is that right? Should I really have to do that? I mean, there is a point to 'keeping the peace' but really this is ridiculous to me.
At this point, I am really going to wait and let my in-laws decide what date is most convenient for them, and we'll have the party for my son then. Gaaahhh!

Sometimes I question whether I am going crazy by letting these things bother me. . .how would you feel?

Name that Bodily Function. . .

Last night we were all in the car and my always polite and cosiderate husband let a huge fart! Before I could tell him how sick it was, Mason yelled "Poop!"
"No Honey, not a full blown poop, but I am sure skid marks are involved!"

Have you had a Susser today?

I have created a monster! Mason is on his hunger strike again and over the past 2 days has eaten almost nothing! I know I should not worry, he is healthy and growing just fine, however I know he has got to be hungry. He has been pretty fussy lately too, which I can't help but think is do to hunger. So. . . when he gets extremely whiney I ask, "are you hungry, what do you want?" The only thing he he replies is "Susser, Susser peeeaassee!"
Ladies and gentlemen, I have a sucker whore on my hands!

Mason the BOY!

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Originally uploaded by glamgranola.

Here is a glimps of the mini trim. Ho looks older now, don't you think? Wwwwaaaahhhh!

The Baby is now a Boy!

It has been and exciting day for us! Mason-my baby got his first hair trim. No, not a cut a hair trim. I immediately told my hairstylist that she could not call it a haircut or she would not only have to deal with a unruly boy, but also a sobbing mom. I am not sure why this was so hard for me. A few times during the 5 minutes it took her I felt drips of nervous sweat falling from my armpits. But, I did it and survived without a tear shed. He looks very cute. I would not let her give him the traditional "boy" cut, because my boy is just not. . .traditional. So now that some of the 6 inch pieces are caught up to the 2 inch pieces, I think I'll be growing it out!
In other news. . .Tonight before his bath, like everynight, Mason sat on his potty. However instead of his typical high-pressure fart, the boy went pee in the potty. We cheered, we clapped, and even saved it for Dada( who went through the same celebration again). What a bittersweet day. Call me lame again, but it is as hard to watch your baby grow into a little person as it is beautiful.

There is a Warrant for my Arrest!

Seriously, I am sure they could charge me with something, I was definitely a smart-ass. It went something like this:

Cop trying to make $: "Hi is this Mrs. ****?"

Me: "Yes it is."

C: "Hi, I am Officer 'Douchebag' and I know that you want to help keep your neighborhood safe, right?"

Me: "Yup! But I don't have money to give you!"

C: " It is only $15.00 and you get a decal too. I'll even give you a couple of weeks to save up. . . I'll take an extra coffee break in your honor!?"

(bite your tongue Ann. . . Seriously! But, he didn't just say that he'd take an extra coffee break on my account did he? I've never been very good at holding back what I really think, so. . . )

Me: "Will you stop at Krispy Kreme in my honor too?"

C: " You are out of control! Will you donate?"

Me: "No Thanks!"

C: "Bye."

So I am sure he is looking up my record as we speak. Life goes on, even if I am looking over my shoulder for the next 5 years waiting to be arrested!

The Mystery of the Magic Word Unveiled

Today it all became clear as the why those few world in the English language are called "magic words".

Mason woke normally from his nap today and usually to keep him from his one track boobie mind, I offer him something to drink and a healthy snack. Maybe an apple or some cheese crackers and raisins. Whatever, you get my point. Well today, I left out the Halloween candy that I was snacking on during his nap. Mason spotted it immediately and found his favorite. . . a tootsie pop. After trying a few minutes to get off the wrapper himself, he held the sucker up to me and said, "peeeaaasssee, pppeeeaaasssee." Now how could I say "No" when he is saying the magic word? So, the boy got his sucker. Little does he know I would have given him about anything as a result of that powerful little word coming from my baby's mouth.

Hello,my name is Ann and I. . .am LAME.

I have been neglecting my beloved blog, BAD! But what can I say, I have been a busy, busy girl. The house #2: coming along. The naughty boy: naughty as ever, brings my to tears almost daily now! My lame job: LAME. No let me rephrase that, I am lame because I just can't seem to handle it all. Yes, I only work 4 hours per week, but it is so much more than that. I have to make sure I have a sitter, ( who is eating me out of house and home in one hour flat). Make sure I time what time Mason wakes up from his nap, because all hell breaks loose if Mama or Dada aren't the ones to get him out of his crib. Then, I listen to him scream as a shut the door behind me. Laugh if you will, but I am not handling this job with much grace. I think I'll be done with my afterschool program next week, for good. My Yoga class is awesome and have agreed to keep that up. Hopefully this means me work load will go from a whimpy 4 hours to a measly 1 hour per week.
In other news my wonderful niece gave me a lesson on how to use my blog to it's full potential. So, by next week I should be airing exerpts from my favorite porno! Keep watching!

Monkey Mason

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Originally uploaded by glamgranola.

Mason was a monkey this year when he wore his hat. . .Goldmember without. Doesn't he look so much older? There are more pics on flickr