Heartbreak.

Last night was Mason's Montessori open house. I was certain that it would also change is feelings about starting school.

For the past 2 months the talk of starting school has changed from excitedly talking about it, to becoming a reality. A reality that Mason wants no part of. Mike and I have been giving our best sales pitches for the majority of summer to no avail. He just wants to "stay at home like his neighbor girlfriend a few houses up the street. Her mom stays home and teaches her at home, so why can't I." If it were that simple, I'd home school in a second. The problem is I am not sure if that's the right choice either? If only I knew what the right choice was...

At the open house, Mason quickly started exploring all the little cubbies filled with different learning areas. I watched him in awe. I don't think it'll ever get old or cliche to me that "Oh my God! I made that little person and just look at him!" Mike started to say something to me and I had to just tell him to stop. I had to concentrate on not crying I couldn't talk or listen or anything. I just didn't want to cry in front of everyone. He tried to touch my back in an "it's okay" kind of way. I quickly moved out of the way because "seriously, don't." Thankfully he knew I wasn't being cold or mean, I was doing what I had to do to be strong and not let Mason see me cry.

We left after the informational speech and Mason told us again that he didn't want to go back. Again, we told him about all the things he's going to get to do this year and all the new friends he'll meet. I don't think he is buying it.

Tuesday is the day. The day I drop my first baby off at school. From now until then I am trying to figure out how to be strong for him. How I am going to resist scooping him up and bringing him home with me when he tells me for the 80th time that he just wants to stay with me. Right now, I can't even think about it without crying.

Love Thy Neighbor pt. 2 (but really 436)

Remember back in April when I wrote about my lovely neighbor? You know, the one you all agreed I should drop kick with a pointy boot? Well I thought you may be wanting an update, yes?

Hahahahahahha.

She is such a bitch.

Hahahahahah. (All while smiling.)

How was that?

For the most part I've managed to keep my distance as much as a person can keep from a next door neighbor. I don't invite her over. I don't do anything with her. All conversations are kept relatively generic. Yesterday, for some stupid reason I was feeling like I wanted to go out of my way to be nice to her. Why? WHY?

Mike got home from work and we were grilling our dinner on the deck. I went up to him and said, "Should we be super nice and offer Her a glass of wine since she is sitting in her backyard?"

Mike must have known it was a stupid suggestion because he replied, "Why?"

I told him I was feeling like I wanted to do something nice for her. Just because.

We'll call her The Queen (TQ).

Me: The Queen! Would you like a glass of wine? We are opening a bottle.

TQ: Oh! What kind is it?

Me: It is red.

TQ: **crickets**

Me: Menage 'a Trois.

TQ: Um, I'll pass. Thanks.

First of all she knew I was talking about the wine and not inviting her over for a threesome. She has had the wine before, it just isn't good enough for her snobbish pallet.

I know I am a self-declared coffee snob but if someone offered me a cup of coffee just to be nice you can bet that, I wouldn't ask them what brand it was. I would accept and I would drink it even if it was Folgers! I may not enjoy it fully, but I would enjoy it because it was kind for that person to go out of their way to offer me a cup of coffee. Period.

So I guess I should be glad I didn't offer her the box of white wine that I have in the fridge. Or maybe I should! I should tell her that it is some vintage $100 a bottle stuff and see what her distinguished pallet tells her about it! Oooo, that would be so fun! Phony Snob!

Should I do it?

Beat this one. . .I dare you!

How do you make a crappy day turn shitty? Let me tell you.

I put the kids down at nearly the same time everyday. Some times Mason sleeps these days, sometimes he doesn't. He still must have some sort of quiet time in his room. I tucked Mason in his bed and went on to Harper's room where everyday we sit in the same rocking chair, she nurses and then off she drifts to sleep and into her crib she goes. I have to say, I 've been really lucky with how easy she has been to get to sleep. Most days she asks to go up to bed, I know, super lucky. Mason was never like that.

Well today, it started out totally normal. I tucked Mason in, went to Harper's room, she passed out within 5 minutes and I snuck out. As I was closing the door, I saw Mason in the playroom with the TV on. . .Totally not allowed during quiet time. I told him he needed to go to his room and if he chose not to he'd stay inside for the rest of the day while his friends played outside. Mason through a huge fit complete with screaming that of course prompted Harper's screaming. Awesome!

Mason went back to his room and quieted down within 5 minutes, fast asleep. Harper was so hysterical that I went back in and rubbed her back until she calmed down. I snuck out again. I came down stairs and heard her talking and babbling and yelling. I went back up. "Harper, lay DOWN!" She lays down and I walk out. I get back down stairs and hear all the same stuff again. This time complete with "yay DOWN!" I go back up. Wash, Rinse, Repeat until 4 pm. Mason is now outside playing with neighbors. I decided it would be her first time going without any sort of nap.

I run upstairs and grab her from her crib at the same time my nose is assaulted! Bam! Eau de Poop! I notice her bottom half totally undressed and there is shit everywhere. You might be asking, Really? Everywhere? My friends, it was between her freaking toes. The only place it wasn't was on her hands! Way to make Mama proud Harper. Keep those hands disinfected at all times!

So now along with a nearly 2 year old who in crabby tired and covered in poo, I now had to start turbo cleaning caca from every item and linen near Harper's crib. I wish I could have found some humor at the time, but I am not that calm of a person. I was totally grossed out. I did have a glimmer of relief when I realized that this is the first time I've ever had this happen in my nearly 5 years of parenting. Maybe it gets easier and less gross the second time it happens? I'm hoping I never find out. I've paid my dues.

I'm hoping for a less shitty day tomorrow.

You ought to know...

I just heard from a high school friend who I actually sang with ( don't get any ideas, she had crazy talent)and has started to record some songs. She is blowing me away! She always had a beautiful voice but now, Wow!

Now go listen to her, her name is Holly.