Monster Mash . . .this is not about Halloween either!

I just got back from lunch with my friend Jill, her kids, her mom and lil sister. So the demographics where something like this: 3 adults, 3 children, and one MONSTER! Yes, today Mason takes the title of Monster Child. HE. WAS. AWFUL!! (notice double exclamation points!) We got there and the first thing he did was climb under the table and proceed to eat any morsels of food he found. quick note: he did this at the same time I was using a Clorox wipe to disinfect his highchair! Have I ever mentioned how I feel about Karma? Then once the kid had an actual plate of food in front of him, he liked my friends mom's plate way more! He decided he was done eating about 45 seconds later and crawled out of his highchair. I caught him and he showed me who was boss by smearing both arms of my black shirt with refried beans. I finally decided it was hopeless and took him out of the highchair. He took off like a worldclass sprinter through the restaurant. When I captured him, he proceeded to arch the back, scream like I was ripping off his toenails, and kick his legs like a mother! I was sweating by this point and contemplated putting him in the car in his carseat so I could eat! I had flashes of legal cases in my head and tried to recall at what point it is not neglect to leave a child unattended in a parked car. Anyone know about this law? I may need to know really soon. I am exausted and pissed. Thank God the kid still takes naps! I am off to go call my friend to apoligize for ruining her lunch!