Adios.

It's time. After over three years I am closing up shop. I have my reasons and I am sad to let my one true outlet go. The one thing I do for me and no one else. I am thankful that I met so many amazing people; many that I consider real friends. I'll miss you guys.

Ann

The Mind of Crazy

Why didn't I remember how totally bonkers the second year is? I swear your mind does something to make you forget, ON PURPOSE. The screaming. The tantrums. The hair pulling. Should I go on? The biting. The spitting. Wait? Have I mentioned the spitting before? The spitting is so lovely, especially when it is done in public to show her dissaproval with the current situation. Mason is nearing 5 and still cannot figure out how to spit his toothpaste so Harpers spitting was one thing she learned all by herself! Whee!

This morning she wanted me to put her shoes on. I put them both on and tied the left on like she wanted. I moved over to the right one and tied it when all hell broke loose. I should have known. Why didn't I know that I should've only tied one shoe? The screaming and crying went on for a good 10 minutes until I offered her a bite of my LIFE. Cereal. But it is ironic isn't it? That she just wanted a bite of my LIFE!

Thankfully though, she is incredibly funny.


She loves to dance, she prefers Dance or Techno. The Hell?

She tells me to stop singing all the time. But also asks me to "sing Nacho", her favorite song from Nacho Libre.

I try not to gush, but The Girl is beautiful. Sometimes I just stare at her in awe.



And the dimples? We have no idea where those came from, but when she smiles, I forget about all those other things.



Well, except the spitting.

Let's Move on Now!

Wow, glad that is over. Now I can move on to something a little less nauseating.

Mike and I finished our third week of running. All is still going well except for raging shin splints. I've been icing when we get home and on days when I feel like I might cry from the pain I take a few Ibuprofen. Is there anything else I should be doing?

I've been cooking up a storm lately too. Since it has been getting colder I've gone back to making a huge vat of soup each week. First I made a Roasted Butternut Squash soup that was so fantastic! Of course we gobbled it down in two days. I tried to make it again and it tasted like ass. That's what I get for not taking recipes seriously! The first time, the time it was phenomenal, I took photos while I made it.



On a baking sheet I cut up a huge carrot, a Butternut squash, an onion and an apple. I drizzled them all with olive oil, salt and pepper and a tiny bit of nutmeg and baked at 425 for around 45 minutes. Really I am not even sure about the time I just kept checking with a fork to see if it was mushie. Because mushie means done for this stuff.

When I got to that stage, I threw everything into a blender and added chicken stock. I then moved everything back into a big stock pot and noticed it still needed more stock so I added more with a few pats of butter. It was smooth and velvety and my kids couldn't get enough!



You really should try this stuff if you can handle squash at all. It warms your insides and screams fall!



How's that for a change of topic?

The Day I lost...let's hope this is the end!

My cell phone was ringing and it was her. I couldn't answer. I was still furious and had nothing to say to someone who had just accused me of lying. I waited a few seconds and there was a message.

My God do I wish I was more technically saavy because I still have the message and wouldn't it be fun to hear it?

TQ: Ann, I talked to Drake and he said he did go inside your house...

Well, no shit Sherlock.

...I don't know why he would make such a stupid, stupid choice?

um, because he is a 4 year old boy and 4 year old boys aren't always known for making superior choices!

...but you coming over hear to scream and swear at me was not the right way to handle it either! !!SLAM!!

What!? She still doesn't get it! So I called her right back. (take the high road Ann, you already went Ape on her.)

GG: Hi, Whoreen? (whoops) you are right. I should've never yelled and sworn, that really isn't my style. BUT, if you remember, I came over to tell you something that I thought you, as a mother, should know that your son did. I didn't ever plan on getting so angry but you implying that what I said was untrue was very insulting. But you are right, I didn't handle it the way I would've liked to.

TQ: I was just so shocked that Drake would just go into your house...

So really? Let's be honest. I over-reacted. I had taken too many insulting jabs over the past several months and boiled over. It wasn't pretty, but really it was for the best. Our interaction now is kept to bare minimum.

I have no respect for her lifestyle. In fact, I find it disgusting. She gives us real stay at home moms a bad name. This weekend when her son was with his dad, TQ had her "flavor of the week" over for 2 nights, he left for a couple of hours and another guy came over and took her out to dinner. The next morning I woke op early with my kids and "The Flavor" was back and had spent the night.

I have done enough. I hate the nasty person she brings out of me. Karma keeps me sane, she'll get hers at some point...

Wow! and also Sorry!

I know. I also think it is totally tacky when bloggers apologize for not blogging but I know that there are a handful of you that really want to hear the end of the Neighb-whore Story. I promise I will finish.

I thought that once Mason started school I'd have some extra time, hahahahahah. Now I just run, all over town, constantly. Then I run home to get Harper down for a nap, then the sitter comes over and I run back to pick up Mason. It is Chaos I tell you! Total Chaos.

Speaking of running all over. Pedro and I started running! We run three days a week, with the kids in a jogging stroller. We are in our second week and neither of us is showing any signs of premature petering out! We are going to run a 5K on Thanksgiving, which means Thanksgiving this year we'll finally be doing something that we want to do, together!

Now here, take a look! Because I've been totally absent I leave you with the most unflattering picture ever!




Your welcome.

Sweet like sugar.

Harper had her second birthday on Sunday!
Oh wow is this little girl strong willed, but we're keeping her.
We love her like crazy!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

The day I lost my shit- Part 2

I should first warn you...I really should've written a G version and an R version. The real life version probably registered at a triple R. There was no verbal censor. So make a mental note, Whenever you read the word effing, fricking,freaking, f*cking or anything of the sort, feel free to insert the actual word of FUCKING that flowed from my mouth as freely as a tree swaying in the breeze. You've been warned. Virgin ears and eyes proceed with caution...

I had calmed down and decided to walk over to let TQ know what had just happened.

knock, knock, knock "TQ, I just wanted to let you know what just happened. I was upstairs putting Harper down for a nap when Drake came upstairs, knocked and came into her bedroom..."

TQ: "No he didn't, I was sitting out back, watching them the whole time!"

I think my head spun around 3 or 4 times and right then steam shop out of my ears.

GG: "Are you effing kidding me? Are you telling me I am making this whole freaking thing up?"

TQ: "First of all don't swear at me."

GG: "How can I not swear. You are calling me a fricking liar! Don't you think I have better things to do with myself than make up a freaking story about your son coming into my house and waking my daughter up?"

Her request? DENIED.

TQ: "I am telling you that I was back there watching him...I am in disbelief."

GG: "Obviously you weren't because your son came into my damn house and clearly you didn't know...
Why do you need to argue everything TQ. It's what you do, you argue. My God, is that annoying"

TQ: "Look at you you're hysterical right now...I am in disbelief."

GG: "Well believe it! NEWSFLASH TQ! Your son does do things wrong just like every other kid I have ever met. I just thought I should let you know but clearly you don't believe me. "

TQ: "Drake, Drake! Drake get in here now! "


And I stormed off.


What I really wanted to say at this point was, 'really? you've been out watching them the entire time? Because I am standing in your doorway now and um, where is your son...you stupid beotch!'

I was on fire! I went over to let her know about something her son had done that I thought she might want to talk to him about. It was something that I would absolutely want to know about if my son did. But she didn't believe me. I am many things but one thing that I am not is a liar.

I came in my house and Mike came in to get the story since all he could see from on top of the roof was my arms flailing. As I told him what had happened I began to feel sorry. I was not at all sorry for what I said, but for the way I acted. I acted like she does.

Just then, the phone rang. It was her...

The day I lost my shit.

Who-ee! Wy life has been one big ball of chaos lately. I have to admit, cable got re-hooked up last Tuesday but I've been up to my eyeballs trying to catch-up. Ha ha ha hahahaah, I know shouldn't I know by now that really there is no such thing as "catching-up". Moron.

But I need to tell you what I know you've been waiting for. I went off you guys. I totally lost is on her. Deep down I think I was just waiting for it to happen and oo-boy, did it ever. If you need to catch up on the past, you can start here and then go here.


Mike had been putting a new roof on our house which is a loud, messy, totally huge home improvement. It just really sucks. My job was keeping the kids out of his way. I think we were either on day 2 or 3 of the process. Mason does great playing by himself with the neighbors so he was easy. Harper was becoming more irritated and grouchy by the day. She was needing a nap, in her own bed in the worst way and I decided despite the banging I would try. Mason was in our backyard playing with my cousins son and Drake, The Queens son.

I took Harper upstairs to her bedroom and set up three fans in and also outside of her bedroom door for white noise. It took a while but after about 15 minutes of nursing her, my little girl drifted off to sleep. No more than 2 minutes later there was a knock on Harpers bedroom door, and the door opened...

"Ah Ann. I need some water."
"Ah Drake, why are you in my house? You need to go home and ask your mom for water. I am putting Harper to bed."

Now Harper is awake. Freaking awesome.

I told Drake he needed to go home, and that he really should never come in my (muchless upstairs and in the bedrooms) house without being asked to come in.

I was pissed. I got Harper back to sleep after another 10 minutes and calmed myself down. I considered that it was something Mason could have but I would absolutely want to know about it. I knew I needed to tell TQ but I had no idea her reaction would be so rediculous.

(so much more to come, Tuesday.)

Amish Jealousy-Because I am sure they have more technology than me.

Dude. Right now I am sitting in a Hotel parking lot stealing WI-Fi. I'm totally classy like that. I am not sure when I'll be back but I've got so much to tell you!

For example.

Mason's first day of school.

The day I went ape-shit on my lovely neighbor! Oh yes I did.


Stay tuned! I promise this isn't the last of me...

Heartbreak.

Last night was Mason's Montessori open house. I was certain that it would also change is feelings about starting school.

For the past 2 months the talk of starting school has changed from excitedly talking about it, to becoming a reality. A reality that Mason wants no part of. Mike and I have been giving our best sales pitches for the majority of summer to no avail. He just wants to "stay at home like his neighbor girlfriend a few houses up the street. Her mom stays home and teaches her at home, so why can't I." If it were that simple, I'd home school in a second. The problem is I am not sure if that's the right choice either? If only I knew what the right choice was...

At the open house, Mason quickly started exploring all the little cubbies filled with different learning areas. I watched him in awe. I don't think it'll ever get old or cliche to me that "Oh my God! I made that little person and just look at him!" Mike started to say something to me and I had to just tell him to stop. I had to concentrate on not crying I couldn't talk or listen or anything. I just didn't want to cry in front of everyone. He tried to touch my back in an "it's okay" kind of way. I quickly moved out of the way because "seriously, don't." Thankfully he knew I wasn't being cold or mean, I was doing what I had to do to be strong and not let Mason see me cry.

We left after the informational speech and Mason told us again that he didn't want to go back. Again, we told him about all the things he's going to get to do this year and all the new friends he'll meet. I don't think he is buying it.

Tuesday is the day. The day I drop my first baby off at school. From now until then I am trying to figure out how to be strong for him. How I am going to resist scooping him up and bringing him home with me when he tells me for the 80th time that he just wants to stay with me. Right now, I can't even think about it without crying.

Love Thy Neighbor pt. 2 (but really 436)

Remember back in April when I wrote about my lovely neighbor? You know, the one you all agreed I should drop kick with a pointy boot? Well I thought you may be wanting an update, yes?

Hahahahahahha.

She is such a bitch.

Hahahahahah. (All while smiling.)

How was that?

For the most part I've managed to keep my distance as much as a person can keep from a next door neighbor. I don't invite her over. I don't do anything with her. All conversations are kept relatively generic. Yesterday, for some stupid reason I was feeling like I wanted to go out of my way to be nice to her. Why? WHY?

Mike got home from work and we were grilling our dinner on the deck. I went up to him and said, "Should we be super nice and offer Her a glass of wine since she is sitting in her backyard?"

Mike must have known it was a stupid suggestion because he replied, "Why?"

I told him I was feeling like I wanted to do something nice for her. Just because.

We'll call her The Queen (TQ).

Me: The Queen! Would you like a glass of wine? We are opening a bottle.

TQ: Oh! What kind is it?

Me: It is red.

TQ: **crickets**

Me: Menage 'a Trois.

TQ: Um, I'll pass. Thanks.

First of all she knew I was talking about the wine and not inviting her over for a threesome. She has had the wine before, it just isn't good enough for her snobbish pallet.

I know I am a self-declared coffee snob but if someone offered me a cup of coffee just to be nice you can bet that, I wouldn't ask them what brand it was. I would accept and I would drink it even if it was Folgers! I may not enjoy it fully, but I would enjoy it because it was kind for that person to go out of their way to offer me a cup of coffee. Period.

So I guess I should be glad I didn't offer her the box of white wine that I have in the fridge. Or maybe I should! I should tell her that it is some vintage $100 a bottle stuff and see what her distinguished pallet tells her about it! Oooo, that would be so fun! Phony Snob!

Should I do it?

Beat this one. . .I dare you!

How do you make a crappy day turn shitty? Let me tell you.

I put the kids down at nearly the same time everyday. Some times Mason sleeps these days, sometimes he doesn't. He still must have some sort of quiet time in his room. I tucked Mason in his bed and went on to Harper's room where everyday we sit in the same rocking chair, she nurses and then off she drifts to sleep and into her crib she goes. I have to say, I 've been really lucky with how easy she has been to get to sleep. Most days she asks to go up to bed, I know, super lucky. Mason was never like that.

Well today, it started out totally normal. I tucked Mason in, went to Harper's room, she passed out within 5 minutes and I snuck out. As I was closing the door, I saw Mason in the playroom with the TV on. . .Totally not allowed during quiet time. I told him he needed to go to his room and if he chose not to he'd stay inside for the rest of the day while his friends played outside. Mason through a huge fit complete with screaming that of course prompted Harper's screaming. Awesome!

Mason went back to his room and quieted down within 5 minutes, fast asleep. Harper was so hysterical that I went back in and rubbed her back until she calmed down. I snuck out again. I came down stairs and heard her talking and babbling and yelling. I went back up. "Harper, lay DOWN!" She lays down and I walk out. I get back down stairs and hear all the same stuff again. This time complete with "yay DOWN!" I go back up. Wash, Rinse, Repeat until 4 pm. Mason is now outside playing with neighbors. I decided it would be her first time going without any sort of nap.

I run upstairs and grab her from her crib at the same time my nose is assaulted! Bam! Eau de Poop! I notice her bottom half totally undressed and there is shit everywhere. You might be asking, Really? Everywhere? My friends, it was between her freaking toes. The only place it wasn't was on her hands! Way to make Mama proud Harper. Keep those hands disinfected at all times!

So now along with a nearly 2 year old who in crabby tired and covered in poo, I now had to start turbo cleaning caca from every item and linen near Harper's crib. I wish I could have found some humor at the time, but I am not that calm of a person. I was totally grossed out. I did have a glimmer of relief when I realized that this is the first time I've ever had this happen in my nearly 5 years of parenting. Maybe it gets easier and less gross the second time it happens? I'm hoping I never find out. I've paid my dues.

I'm hoping for a less shitty day tomorrow.

You ought to know...

I just heard from a high school friend who I actually sang with ( don't get any ideas, she had crazy talent)and has started to record some songs. She is blowing me away! She always had a beautiful voice but now, Wow!

Now go listen to her, her name is Holly.

Drumroll Please...

My poor ex-boyfriend! I hope he doesn't read this! I am not sure where I pulled that story out of but last I heard, he was happily married to a girl.

The truth about my foot is that it is still super messed up from a fall I took down a set of stairs. At first it hurt so bad I couldn't even tell where I hurt. I told Pedro it was my ankle but it is in fact my foot, right about in the middle on the inside by my arch. I really am starting to think I broke something in there because it just isn't healing! I have the strangest pressure feeling when I walk down any stairs.

The little black pug is something I've always wanted and mark my words, if we do happen to get a second dog someday, her name will be Ebi!

So that leaves my nose. I've wanted to have it done for years! If you read me way back when I started blogging, I mentioned it then.

After years of finding excuses not to get it done, I decided I was just going to do it. I made the appointment, picked up my friend and went to the place of *pokes and pricks and got it done. I was scared to death and it was nothing. My eyes didn't even water like I was told they would. It was fast and easy, but the restraint of keeping my fingers out has been constant. I guess I didn't realize I was a habitual nose picker!



*Wow I was clever for a second. For the record, If I ever open a piercing studio I will most definitely call it Pokes and Pricks. You heard here first, folks!

Walk in my shoes for a day.

Guess what I did last weekend? Go on, guess...

OK, I'll give you some ideas and you tell me what you think happened.

Did I :

1) Find out my foot that I hurt from falling down the stairs last week is actually broken and had a cast put on.

2) Pick up a close friend and drive to a piercing studio where I had my nose pierced.

3) Get a new little 8 week-old, black girl pug and named her Ebi (pronounced eh-bee).

4) Find out that my high school (and college too) boyfriend of nearly 5 years is gay and just invited me to their civil ceremony in another state.

Go on guess, how well do you know me? Need a refresher course? Check here!

Mean People Suck.

Mason starts school in September. We enrolled him in a 5 day per week 2.5 hours a day program. I wish I felt better about the decision we've made.

Understand that I am not naive. I am very aware that I can't keep my first born baby at home with me forever. I am also aware how important it is that he play and learn from other children. What scares the hell out of me is the impression that other kids could have on Mason.

We are out and about everyday in the summer and are around tons of kids. What I've noticed is how nasty and disrespectful kids are now. They say awful things to one another and can be downright mean! Again, I know that kids will be kids and that I won't be able to protect him forever from hurtful things but also that it is my job to raise this little person to be the best person he can be. At this stage in life, he copies, he mimics and wants to do what other people do whether it is being the sweetest kid around or bullying. Let's be real here...no one wants to have a brat for a kid.

I have a nagging piece of my brain that wonders if I hold off just one more year, would it make a difference?

I talk to my family about this often and they (thankfully) understand completely. My mom has commented a few times about "how relieved she is that she is not raising kids these days; It's a different world now." And just so you know, my parents aren't all new-agey or peace-lovey. They are pretty by the book. So this time their agreement with me has made me think even deeper and more seriously and realize that this time I'm not overreacting.

After all the dramatics and talkie-talk, my point is simple. I've got a pretty cool little guy. I'd really like to keep him that way.

Getting a little rediculous now...

Wow, that was an extended break that I never saw coming...

I'm back now with a full functioning computer that will hopefully live up to all my hopes and dreams. I just need to get my groove back. What was it that I used to write about? Yeah right. A whole bunch of nothing, now I remember.

We've been having a ton of fun so far this summer. We've been going to the pool almost daily, I've been able to hang out with my "meant-to-be" friend. Last week she invited me and the fam to a party at her house. They are having a band in the back yard of their house. Goodtimes!

Harper has been a little Miss Chatty Cathy lately. I am astounded with the things she is capable of saying these days. This morning while Mason was in time-out she came up to Pedro and me and informed us that "Mason naunny!" Mason has been very difficult lately. Difficult and naughty! He still makes me laugh daily though. If I am not yelling, or putting the boy in time-out, I am laughing hysterically.

Tell me, could you keep your cool and respond appropriatly if your son informed you that "he wants to have the hugest peepee in the whole town" ?

I didn't think so. And neither did I! I just laughed, until I cried!

Sizzle, Crack, Pop! %##**&!!

I'm still here. Just without a damn computer. Apparently the hard drive on our cute little MacBook took a poop and then died. When she died however she took oodles and oodles of my pictures and music. I'm in mourning. Thank God for Flickr. I don't know what I'd do if most of my favorite photos weren't somewhere so safe and sound!

Thursday morning the four of us are taking another mini-vacation. We are spending four days at my family's cottage. I love to go up there. It is tiny and rustic and on a spring fed lake, so the water is beautiful. The best part is that it'll just be us there. I love the fact that I won't have to constantly tell people to "shut the hell up, my kids are napping!"

Hopefully somewhere in there my computer will be useable and I'll have many new pictures and stories to share. If I can't hijack someone's computer before, Happy Fourth Everyone!

Confession #4732

Last night I went grocery shopping. We needed everything. When that happens I sometimes overstock trying to have all sorts of food in the house. Assuming that this summer will be like last and we'll be sending most of our days at the pool, I tried to think of easy things to pack and picnic with. I bought yogurt and blue berries, strawberries and string cheese; you know the healthy, wholesome stuff. At the end of the excursion, something caught my eye. Something preservative laden and frozen. I bought those Uncrustable PB and J's.

We brought them to the pool with us today and they were like little pockets of heaven. They were perfectly soft, both sides lined with peanut butter and oozing with strawberry jelly. Mason scarfed his down and asked for another. My boy who could care less if he missed a meal or three couldn't get enough. I've been baking all our bread for the last three months so we are all used to whole wheat, flax seed, make you poop kind of bread. Honestly, I am not sure if my kids have ever had straight up Wonder Bread. Now they know what they have been missing. They were that good. I'm sticking to my guns though, still haven't broke my "no hot dogs under our roof" rule. I prefer my kids to be flying high on sugar rather than chomping on lips and poopers.

Here. Have a look.

I feel like I haven't had time to do much of anything lately. I 've been hardly even taking pictures! There are a few sweet ones of my baby girl who is barely even a baby anymore. I know I am her mom and biased as hell, but my gosh is she a pretty little thing...

Time Suckage.

Why? Why did I ever sign up for Facebook? I have kids you know. And a house that needs to be maintained. God, between that and Twitter...there aren't enough hours in the day!

I am writing a story for my first love, blogger, that should be up soon!!!

Identity Crisis.

Did you know I just celebrated my third Blog-versary? I did.

I've put a lot out here. I've chronicled the pregnancy and birth of Harper. I've talked about my crazy, newly dysfunctional family. I've had ups and downs. There have been things I've shared that I am so proud of and also things I should probably have never aired. I've met awesome people I hope that I only hope I can meet in real life someday.

And now you think I am going to tell you I am closing up shop.

Never!

Although the summer is my favorite time of year and we bounce all over the place, my posting may be sparse, but I'll still be here. What I am considering is simplifying a bit. From day one I've been "Crunchy with Style" but my address is Glam Granola. On the same wavelength, yes, but for some reason is is all of a sudden bothering me that the two are different. For the past year I've been paying for a domain that I've never used. It was just way to technically challenging for my technology challenged brain. So it's a thing of the past. I've got roots here, yo.

Long story short. Would you still love me if I was just simply Glam Granola? Think of it like a little spring cleaning, or like a cleaning out of your underwear drawer and keeping only the pretty ones. Wait. Forget about the last part, that was my ass talking.

Really, what do you think?

Sometimes it's a blessing to forget.

How did I forget about the two's: The dramatics, not being able to reason or bribe, the tantrums. Oh sweet Jesus, THE TANTRUMS! My kids have both been wicked awesome at throwing them. If there were a contest, they'd be getting ribbons. Mason used to throw himself on the kitchen floor. Always the kitchen floor, which is tile, and throw his head back to make sure there was a nice sounding 'crack'. Then he'd cry harder because damn, that had to hurt! He did that for months. I don't remember how old he was when he stopped but I can tell you how happy I was when they did. Very, very happy.

There back! In full force! Harper screams and fights every single time we put her in her carseat. She screams and arches her back and did I mention the screams? Wow, can she get all eyes on her in one scream flat. I haven't yet seen her throw herself onto the kitchen floor and intentionally crack her head. Oh no, she's into different things. I've seen her grab handfulls of her own hair and yank and even more destructive, bite herself on her arm. Good God, tell me I'm not the only one who has kids that do these sorts of things. Please?

In other news:

I had my second appointment with the Chiropractor. He never got close to my boobs but he did tell me my neck is totally effed. You know how your neck should have a curve to it? It should make a nice gradual letter C. My neck is curving the wrong way (think hunchback). Because it is doing this it is pinching nerves that are making my skin sore. He has a whole slew of things he wants me to do, much of it not covered by any insurance companies. I need to figure out where to draw the line. Today I had an adjustment and although I am suppoosed to feel super sore, I feel better then I've felt in weeks.

Did I tell you that the Dr. I am seeing is an Olympic Chiropractor? This will be the second set of Olympic he will go to the work on the athletes. I feel a little honored. I also think I heard about his Olympic athletes one too many times. All in all? I am pretty happy about the care I am getting.

Adjusting Boobies: One crack at a time.

My body! It is failing me! Promise me you won't think I am a crazy hypochondriac when I tell you this- It is that weird.

Two weeks ago I woke up with a weird crick on the left side of my neck. Those suck, yes? We've all had them but usually by the next morning you feel fine and forgot it ever hurt. Not this time. After this crick had been present for two days I noticed a new soreness down around my shoulder blade. It was getting worse and now I had two sore spots, yay! About 5 days ago, I noticed the skin on my left arm was sore to the touch. A very strange kind of sore, like a localized body ache. Then I noticed It was very uncomfortable to brush my hair, only on the left side of my head. All this happening on the left side of my body. It has become unbearable. If I want to go for a walk, I need to plan accordingly and take 2 Advil 2 hours before, otherwise it is all too painful.

I've decided it is time for me to visit a Chiropractor. I am a little nervous. This person is going to be cracking and popping my spine and neck. I've gone before. I was a freshman in high school and had an important track meet coming up. A few days before, I was in gym class and we were in the gymnastics unit. The overgrown Mary Lou Retton in me decided to bounce into a dive roll. I'm not sure I bounced though. I think it was more of a splat then a crunch and my neck was totally effed. My parents took me to a Chiropractor that went to our church. I think he helped my neck, I don't really remember. What I do remember is how strange I thought it was that he felt my boobs. Now maybe I was over-analyzing but still I told my parents. My dad came with me on my next visit and what do you know, no boob adjustment. Just strange and inappropriate. Thankfully is wasn't young enough to feel traumatized by the quack.

I start Friday. I want to feel good again. I want to start running. I want to not hurt. Dude just better stay away from my boobies.

Show your slings!

Steph over at Adventures in Babywearing is having another little cyber-party. This time she's asking others to show their slings. I have 6 but one that blows all the others away.

My Babyhawk.


Oh, how I love her. She's so pretty. Mine is two sided one side with skulls, the other with hula girls, all with cherry trim. She is very well-made and sturdy. And the coolest part that I never anticipated was that my husband loved her almost as much as I did. Had I known, I would've picked one side to be a little more masculine. But he rocked her anyway!

After 3 years...

who knew I had it in me? I did this new design all by myself! How 'bout them apples?

Essence of Another Man.

Are you watching Dancing with the Stars? I'm not, but last night as I was tying my running shoes to take the dog for a walk, the TV happened to be on that channel.

Oh Sweet Jesus. Can we just have a moment of silence for the perfection of Jason Taylor? He makes me salivate. I don't care what kind of men make you swoon; If he doesn't, I may have to check and make sure you have a beating heart. That man is all sorts of beautiful.

Now. Can I tell you how I once had his sweat on my body?

Why don't you go get a big icy glass of water or lemonade. This may take a while and I wouldn't want you to overheat. *wink, wink*

You may of may not know that about 5 years ago Pedro and I were living in Florida. We lived in Fort Lauderdale the next city over was Davie-where JT resides. We only lived there for a year but we had a lot of fun in that short time. While we were there we both belonged to a big name gym. I did a typical chick workout of either aerobics or the elliptical and on a really ambitious day maybe some light weights. Pedro would usually lift weights and then play basketball on one of the courts. A few times Pedro played with Jason Taylor. For the record, Pedro is 6-6 and what do you know? Jason Taylor is 6-6. They played against each other. You know what that means...all kinds of bumping and grinding in the most masculine way, of course. My husband and Jason Taylor.

So that night as we drove home from the gym, I am pretty sure I tried to rub all the leftover sweat off of Pedro thinking that there just might be a drop of JT mixed in.* Then I asked him if JT smelled good. He didn't answer. He only gave me a look that said I was completely out of my mind.**

Jason can do that to a girl.




*only slight exaggeration!

**honest to God truth!

A Picnic Is No Picnic.

I couldn't handle looking at that last post anymore, so today we had a picnic. We planned it just right so Pedro could join us for lunch. Sheesh! You almost forget how much work it is to prepare. A Ton! From the time I woke up this morning I went to work prepping for the afternoon.

I baked bread, my new obsession.

I made my favorite salad.

I made sandwiches, ran to the grocery store to get drinks and dessert,and we were off just three and a half hours later!

We got to the park and Mason was already starving. He'd play for a few minutes and then run back to grab a bite.

Pedro drove in a few minutes later. He ran around with the kids to keep warm since it was freezing.

We ate, played


played some more.

And then we were all headed out. Pedro back to work and us back home for naps.


It was all good fun, but next time? I am totally going to Subway.

*if you'd like to see more picnic photos you can see them all here.

Mother's Day.

I wish I could say my mother's day was a happy one, and there were happy moments, but the day weighed heavy on me. I wish I could write that my mom and I spent the day together having lunch and manicures, talking and laughing until we cried. The truth is that I didn't even see her. The lady she's been lately is not the mom I know. The lady today is cursed with addiction so thick she can't see her way out. She forgets, she glares and rarely calls. She is not the mom I had growing up. The mom I had growing up was loving and energetic and wouldn't miss any activity I was in for the world. She was always there.

Today, as much as I wished is was like it was before addiction, it's not. It is so different I can't even begin to explain. Thankfully though I have memories. And the memories I have are great. Nearly perfect. I remember tiny little things that were so special. I remember taking afternoon naps on my parents bed. I remember my mom laying with me jiggling her foot just enough to rock the bed and lull me to sleep. I remember the notes in my lunch box and the Mickey Mouse pancakes. The tiniest things that left an incredible mark.

I look at my kids that I love more than anything and wonder and worry about the marks I'll leave with them. I do things I hope they never remember and also things hopefully never forget. But mostly, I hope they know that I'll always be there for them. Tonight after a long, emotional day I nursed Harper to sleep and tucked Mason in one last time. I told him how much I loved him and how I hoped we had a better day tomorrow, all while his little boy hand sweetly rubbed my cheek; a perfect end to the day.

As much as I wish my day could have been filled with all things bright and cheery. It wasn't . It was however a perfect recap of what being a mama is all about. There was dancing and crying and pouting and smiling. Nursing and rocking and snuggling and soothing. And at the end of the day, I wouldn't change it for the world. Taking the bad with the good; It's what being a Mama is all about.

Out with the Bad, In with the Good.

Wow. It sure is nice to know that so many of you have my back. Frankly, I am done. Just done. This is what I've decided. As much as I'd like to tell her what I really think of all the awful things she's said to me. I have decided to not waste one more minute on her. I will not go out of my way to be mean to her nor will I be nice. I am done. It may be awkward in the summer when we have friends over in the backyard that is shared with hers and I don't invite her to be a part, but enough is enough. I'd like to retaliate in a way that would sting but that would only make me feel worse. That is not the kind of person I want to be (although it may come to that one day). I small (very, very small) part of me actually feels sorry for her. What a way to live your life, so negatively, so toxic. That's for her to figure out though. Not me. My hands are washed clean of her.

This whole thing got me thinking about what I can do to be a happier person. I am not sad or depressed but I'd really like to be as happy as possible. So last week, while the kids napped, I jotted down a list. A "to do" list to be a happier me.

Here is the list (as Pedro recoils into a corner from embarrassment):


-eliminate toxic relationships.

-make exercise a priority.

-have kinkier sex, more often.

-reduce house clutter.

-finish started projects.

Oh stop it. You know you feel happier when you are having crazy sexy-time more frequently. It's good for the soul or something...

This weekend we officially finished our playroom a project that was drawn out for ages. It is crisp and clean and hopefully the kids will trash that room instead of every other room in the house. You know why? Because it has a door and I can close that door and not think about it.

I also got all three bedrooms spring cleaned this weekend. I no longer need to have dreams about the dust bunny colony under my bed, because it is gone and replaced with the fresh scent of lemon Lysol.

About damn time.

Love Thy Neighbor. *EDITED*

I've tried, and I just can't. My neighbor who moved into "button" I've decided is one of those people who puts other people down to make herself feel better. I've let the rude and sometimes just plain mean comments slide but I fear the bite I have on my tongue is about to release. You think I am exaggerating?

Listen to this.

Harper and I were at her house one night and Harper closed her TV armoire. She told Harper to open it back up and as I got up to do it myself, I commented that Harper only followed directions occasionally and that I wasn't even sure she had the concept of open/close.

Her reply: You stay home with her. That is your "job" to teach her that stuff.

Me: She just turned one, she's fine.

Her: My son had a favorite color and could say pur-ple at 9 months.

Clearly she is a better mother.

Then there is this.

We grill-out often. This one night we were grilling a pork tenderloin. She was commenting that it smelled good and I told her we cooked them pretty often since the kids loved them and they were healthy.

Her: Healthy? Pork is like the worst thing you can eat. No one who is really health-conscious eats pork.

Geez. Why did I go the school again when I could just learn everything about health from my totally uneducated neighbor.

On another occasion she preached to Pedro about how we "eat meat in all its murderous forms". Uh, abrasive maybe?

Today she was talking down to me and I finally just looked the other way and said something to my kids. I was ready to literally say, "It must be hard to be so perfect." But I didn't because I don't want to be a bitch.

Seriously how can you treat people like that and still feel good about yourself?

So I need some help. How can I let her know that she is totally offending me? Apparently she is not catching onto my body language. I need it to stop before I unleash and it's not going to be pretty. But Mama can only take so much.

**edited to add- I feel like you won't get the true beauty of "her" if I failed to mention this one...

Her: Pedro leaves at really strange times at night.

Me: He goes to the gym some weeknights after the kids go to bed.

Her: Are you sure he's not cheating...I'm just saying.

OH YES SHE DID. Now can I tell her to eff off?

Day at the park!

I promise to tell you all about Mexico but first... How cute is she?

Home Sweet Home

Hot damn it feels good to be home. I've got stories to tell but unfortunately laundry and my sick boy come first.

18 (mo.) Going On 36 (D)

There are a few things I hope that Harper doesn't inherit from me. Two things in particular.

You Picked 'Em!

Filler

Great questions you guys. I'm nervous already about video blogging, but I am not backing out! Some of them I have to modify because I think I'll be using the Mac to record and not a video recorder so I can't be moving all over. But we'll see...

I finally got my glasses that you all voted on. I'll post the picture tomorrow of the winners.

But first! My kids got some spring pictures taken. I just threw them all into a montage so you can check them out if you'd like. I am still partial to outdoor pictures but 8 feet of snow does not a good photo make! I definately have a few favorites that I am sure you'll be able to spot immediately.

Enjoy!

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

It's Ground-Breaking, Yo!

I have this idea. This crazy, crazy idea that I'll porbably be kicking myself for in a couple of days. But here it is.

But first, is blogging fizzing out? A bunch of my favorite bloggers have decided to call it quits and although I understand, it makes me sad. I'd be lying if I said I was totally gung-ho about blogging these days because the truth is, sometimes it feels like more of a chore to write these days.

So.

I've decided to spice things up. You know, kind of like wearing crotch-less panties on your 34th wedding anniversary. Really spicy.

Here's the scoop. Give me a topic. A question. Anything. And I am going to video blog it LIVE (but recorded). I am hesitant to even give examples because I don't want to narrow the playing field. But is there a question that you've asked me that I haven't answered? Do you just want to hear the midwestern twang in my voice? I'm game.

Hit me with your best shot- Fire away!

Om.

Oh my God, oh my God, Oh. My. God. Usually if I write a "poor me" post that seems the slightest bit as if I am fishing for reassurance I just turn off the comments. Because "Wah, Poor Me" is just annoying. Well boys and girls, this time I need it. I need assurance that things are going to work out. Because, Oh my God.

We are going to Mexico, right? We leave in 13 days. Harper and I both got our passports within 2 weeks. At the end of the week we received ours I started mentioning to Pedro that he should track his and check the status of Masons and his own. He did and was just given the genaric, "being processed". That was good enough for us, we still had 3 weeks. Fast forward to yesterday, we got two letters in the mail. Not a good sign. The passport photos for the two boys were unacceptable. Holy shit. I went ape.

Are you kidding me? You pay someone a fee assuming they are trained in how to take a photo that meets all the requiremnets of the picky passport office. You pay another fee to have them processed, which to me means they proofread your application and make sure all the " i's are dotted and the t's are crossed', right? Apparently not. This morning we went back to the location where we got them and gave them the letters. Pedro specifially wanted me to come along to make sure "things got done". We got there and the same guy who took our photos was working and he felt horrible. He wanted to pay for our Overnight fee to have the new pictures sent back in. It was coming out of his own pocket. Pedro declined and we were on our own.

Pedro called the passport office again to double and triple check what needed to be sent in. They said the two passport were at the last stages of processing when they caught the error, so hopefully they will just be picked up where they left off. Hopefully.

Have you guys ever heard of this happening? We're going to get to go, right? Holy shit, where is my paper bag. I am getting myself all worked up again...

All the chocolate you can handle!

We stayed up late last night getting the easter baskets ready for the kids. Doing these things always is a little reality check that confirms, "Whoa. I'm an adult." It wasn't long ago that the Easter Bunny stopped coming to my parents house for my brother and me. I was in college, coming home to spend Easter with my family and the Easter bunny still was hiding eggs and chocolate for me to find around my parents house. I think once I started having kids, they got the focus but I still get some sort of chocolate.

This morning when the kids woke up, both Mike and I got up to watch the kids discover their baskets. Harper was a little off. Within an hour she was snuggled up to her Dada and before long, she was out like a light. My poor girl.



We headed over to my sister's house for Easter Brunch. Harper just clung to Mike and before long she was gagging and up-throwing. It was a super quick brunch! We headed home hopefully before we contaminated the rest of the people there. I spent the rest of the day holding a sick baby girl and having a quiet day with my little family.

Spring, sprang, sprung.

Guess what? It was almost spring here! But then it snowed again, and again, and again.

Last week it was so nice. The sun was shining and the snow was melting and the days were longer. Pedro would get home from work and I'd head out the door for my mega walk. It sounds all cheesy but I'd turn on my ipod and start out for my walk and there was a renewed spring in my step.

But then the snow came and it got cold again and we reverted back to being couped like chickens.

I keep telling myself that spring is right around the corner and then we can live again. Until then. The passports trickling in are all that are keeping me going. That and margaritas.

Smart? I think not.

There is one thing that I pride myself on, I don't feed my kids hotdogs, ever. Never have, never will. It's not really a snobbish thing at all. I do damage in other ways like letting them eat sugary cereals, too many processed foods and having the TV on way too much. Oh yeah, and bathing them in Purell. But by God, I'll never intentionally feed them lips and assholes. I try to not be crazy about it. Mason has definately had a few in his life. Usually, going to some child friendly event means hotdogs for kids, so if Mason wants to eat a hotdog, he eats a hotdog and I don't think much about it.

I few weeks ago I came across this idea. Really, does it get any cuter? I knew it was something I wanted to make for my kids. So today we went to the store and picked up some hotdogs. Because I hate to break a tradition, I wouldn't buy hot dogs or even turkey dogs. Instead I bought Smart Dogs. Boy, if that wasn't the dumbest thing ever. I eat plenty of meat substitutes. But these? These were hideous.

I plated them up all cute on a plate of cheesy noodles. Mason beamed when he saw it. It was adorable just like I hoped. He dug right in and once he took a bite of the octopus, the record screeched. He had a look of horror and he was done eating. I tasted a bite of the meat scented gelatin and It was pretty bad. I offered it to our chubby little pug and he backed up like he was being assaulted.

It was a four dollar waste, but you know what? I could really eat a hot dog with relish on it right now. What can I say, every now and then you've gotta indulge right? Does anyone smell a hypocrit?

The Perfect Medicine.

Lately, I feel like our little family is just functioning. It's not bad, but it's not feeling good either. I've got "stuff" going on in my family and Pedro's got "stuff" going on at work and although these things shouldn't effect our family and things that go on in our house, they do. They effect everything. Yesterday I talked to Pedro about the way I was feeling and he agreed. We just needed someway to leave everthing behind and focus on what matters most, each other.

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When I was in labor with Harper and things were getting really hard, I did something that I hadn't planned on doing. I did a whole bunch of guided imagery. Let me clarify. I sort of did plan on doing it, but once I was in the peak of pain, my body and my brain did it's own thing. It was strange and remarkable all at the same time. I would close my eyes and I would instantly visualize a family of four walking on the beach. The fourth person was a little blonde girl whom I hadn't met yet. It was like it was a tiny clip of a movie that just kept replaying over and over. It was so peaceful and beautiful.

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Yesterday we all applied for our passports and later last night we booked an all-inclusive vacation to Mexico. On April 11th, the four of us will get on a plane and fly to Cancun Mexico. Hopefully, it will give all of us the break from reality we desprately need. This time with the little girl of my dreams.

Loose Ends.

Guess what tonight is? Girl's night out! Woot!
Actually I am just meeting up with a friend from high school and we are having dinner. We just reunited a couple of weeks ago and before that, it had been at least 7 years. When we saw each other it was just like it was in high school. I love friends like that! She lives a few hours away but spends the weekdays here finishing up her last Midwifery clinical. We always have tons to talk about! She even answers my totally lame questions, like *how many people really do poop while pushing? Always exciting talk!

I've been neglecting my blog, yes? I can't help it. I am obsessed here and it is so easy to just throw out a little though throughout the day. If you haven't joined yet, you really should. You won't be disappointed.

You guys have really thrown me with your choices for my glasses. The first day I was certain I'd be ordering the tortoise ones and now the last 6 votes have been for the white cat-eye ones. Between email votes and text messages on my phone. The contest stands at 10 : 8. THe tortoise taking a very small lead. So now I am really thrown for a loop! I still need to hear from a few important souls...*cough* Jill, Stacey, Krissy, Pedro, *cough*
Get on it kids!

Besides that? We are just chillin' here, waiting for summer. What have you been up to?




*A LOT to Most! Thank you Jesus.

What a Spectacle. **EDITED**

I need some help.

Since I've had babies, I've become this indecisive ya-ya. It drives people around me crazy. The time has come for me to get some new glasses. if it seems like I just got new glasses, I did just a year ago. They are scratched severely. I tried to have them fixed, but the place I got them from thought it'd be fun to charge me $150 for new lenses. Thanks but no thanks.

So. I've found two pairs of glasses. The two are very different but both very fun. Practical? Not so much but I've never really been one for practical glasses. The first ones are a heavy tortoise pattern. I love tortoise. The second ones are white marbled 50's inspired. I love that they are cat eye-ish. So can you help a sister out? Which ones do you like, for me?

**Here's the scoop, I will (cross my heart) absolutely get the ones that receive the most votes. EVERY VOTE COUNTS- Choose my glasses!

Teeny Bits.

I'm busy.  I'm bored.  I'm a twitter girl.  I signed up nearly a year ago, but this time I'm going to keep up.  If you want to know every time I shave my pits... find me here.  

Let me know if you're a twit too m'kay?

Sharing the love.

I love going out for Mexican food and having that perfectly shredded chicken in my burritos. I had never tried to make it because it seemed so intimidating and time consuming. Guess what? It is a breeze to make and you probably have all the ingredients right now!

Last night we had tostadas and soft tacos with it. We've had it just by itself with mexican rice. And I am dying to use it for chicken nachos! The best part? It makes about three meals worth. You've got to try it.

Ingredients:

1 3lb. bag boneless, skinless chicken breasts

1/2 bottle Italian dressing (I use light)

3 cloves garlic

1 onion

1 green pepper

1 Tbs. Cumin

1 Tbs. Chili powder

salt and pepper (I hate telling people how much to use because I like salt a LOT)

Thaw out the bag of breasts and trim off anything that might gross you out and rinse. Slice onion and green pepper. I don't even bother slicing the garlic, I just smoosh with the side of my knife. Toss all the ingredients in a Crock Pot for 4-5 hours on high.

After I noticed my Crock Pot had turned off I spooned out all the breasts (there will be a lot of liquid now) and put them in a separate bowl. With a fork in each hand, start raking the meat. It practically shreds itself taking no more than 2 minutes to do it all.

Toss all of it back into the Crock Pot and give it one good stir. Turn Crock Pot to low until you are ready to eat it, but for at least 1/2 an hour.

It is totally fool-proof. I used a jalapeno yesterday instead of the green pepper . I wanted to throw in a tomato too but I only had one so I reserved it for a taco topping. Add what you like, leave out what you don't!

I put leftovers in sandwich bags in the freezer. Mmmm...Chicken Nachos!

On Love and Sickness

Hope you are having a fantastic V-Day. Me? I am having an all out love fest with my Puffs Plus.
Thanks for your well wishes. I hope to be better soon too!

Kisses! (germ free of course)

What kind of Doctors do I see?

Hiya.  Wecome to the house of sick!  Sit down and take a load off; It's gonna be here a while.

I never get colds.  So maybe never is a strong word, but my last cold was in June.  Before that?  It had been a good year, cold free.  Don't get me wrong,  my kids get them often, and Pedro too. I get every little stomach bug that walks on by but colds?  Cold are for sissies.  See?  Now you know why I am miserably sick.  I got way cocky.  

Pedro started to feel nasty last Monday.  By Thursday I was feeling good that the rest of us were not going to get it.  "It"  consisted of a wicked fever that lasted 4 days, a super tight chest, and body aches like nobody's business.    By Saturday night, Mason was moaning every hour.  By Sunday night my chest felt like some sumo wrestler was sitting on it.  And last night poor little Harper started shivering uncontrollably.  So sad.  I think this may even be Influenza.  But of course we didn't get the shot.  My crunchiness kind of thinks it's a hoax and even more, I had a Dr.( who was also the rudest doctor ever) explain to me that it is all a prediction.  No thanks.  No predictions are going into my body or my kids.  Maybe I'll feel different in a few years, but for now, that's my story.  And we are all wicked sick.

[Now watch.  The sickness will hold on for weeks because I am about to get cocky again.]

When I start to feel like I am getting sick, there are a few things I do that I swear work.  

*I make chicken soup from scratch.  Every single time anyone in my house gets sick, I make either Chicken Noodle or Chicken Dumpling soup.  I make my own stock from a whole chicken and my mom taught me how to make really good dumplings.   It's a little time consuming, but the kind of time that you don't have to be paying any attention to.  

*I drink hot herbal tea by the gallon with honey and lemon.  I once had a Doctor suggest honey for a tight chest.  He suggested two tablespoons of honey diluted with two tablespoons of hot water.  Chug a lug!  And if you don't puke from the syrupy sweetness it works!  I just prefer to drink mine a little less aggressively, in tea.

*I eat super duper healthy.  I make sure I am getting beyond enough water.  I eat a couple oranges a day.  Blood oranges are in season right now and once you eat one of those, you'll never want regular oranges.  They are so tender.  None of that stringy stuff and they just taste awesome.  I am probably on crack or Theraflu but I think they have a hit of berry-ish flavor.  Go get yourself some.

*I really don't like to take pills but when I am rocking a 103 fever I turn to my little friend, Advil.  As much as I'd love to have a natural alternative, it is the only thing that makes my crunchy ass feel any better when I am burning up.    

Peace, Love and Purell.

  

Woot!

Girls night out tonight,  Holla!

In Case you Were Wondering...

* I took the vacuum back.  I just couldn't justify keeping it when my old one was working just fine!

*I shaved my pits today!

*On Superbowl Sunday I became an Auntie again.  My older brother and his girlfriend just had their first baby.  Kyler David.  He really is beautiful.

*I am thinking about joining 30 tiny moments.

*Someone should sign me up for "Mother of the year" stat!  Today after lunch I started giving the nap countdown when Mason decided to throw a huge hissy.  

"NO!  I don't want to take a nap!"

Without even skipping a beat or raising my voice I just replied, "tough titty."

Cue the screeching record

What was I thinking?  Clearly, I wasn't.  I don't talk like that (around my kids) ever.

Classy! Like having a 4 year-old birthday party at a nudie bar.  

Totally embarrassing. 

No one I'd rather be with.

I always feel weird talking about this because it is so complex, but I feel this special bond with Mason.  Is it because he's my first? Is it because he's a boy?  Or, is it because we went through so much when he was a tiny premature baby?  Maybe it's all of those things combined, I am not really sure.  Sometimes  I let myself feel guilty about it which I shouldn't.  It is not at all that I love him more, it is just different, a lot like a father and his daughter I'd assume.  

I've been feeling like I wanted to spend some special time with Mason.  He's been really difficult lately and I start to feel like all I do is nag about what he's doing wrong, so I wanted to spend a few hour just with him. 

 

We decided on Saturday morning that we were going to go to a movie.  Mason was so excited! 

We got to the cinema and it was sold out!  You should have seen all the tears.  Mason didn't get why we couldn't just take a different seat.  Poor kid.  his first time to a movie and he got the shaft.  

Instead, he wanted to go into the arcade (a personal hell for me).  He first road this motorcycle that I helped him with.  We did awful.  He wanted to drive the race car next and I kept my hands to myself. 

 He did way better without me.  

Sheesh. I am so not ready to be saying that out loud.

We had a nice morning together.  We need to do it more often, my special little guy.

Suck it!

This morning we needed to run a few errands.  To me, there is nothing worse than coming home to a trashed house, so I always try to pick up before walking out the door.  The house was decent and I decided to whip out the vacuum.  I'm vacuuming away and it just stops.  Nothing strange was sucked in, it just stopped.  Immediately I asked Mason to plug the vacuum back in.  

"but it's already plugged in!"

So we added a new errand to our list, a new vacuum. We went to 2 stores and decided on the Hoover Mach 6 to replace our Hoover Fusion.  We loaded it in the car and home we went.  Just to be sure, I plugged our old vacuum in to make sure it didn't work and it was still dead.  Mason comes in and says he's going to fix the old vacuum.  He plugs it back into the wall an voila!  It works like a charm!  Now what do I do?  Do I return it and hope that my old one keeps kicking?  Or, do I sign my son up for the circus with his healing powers?

7 Things

I was tagged by the lovely MP for this 7 thing meme. As if you need any more proof, here are 7 more things that will comfirm your doubts about me.

"She's a strange one that Crunchy Girl..."

1. The smell of patchouli on me makes me insane, not in a good way. I despise it. On other people it smells heavenly. When Pedro smells like it, it makes me wild, in a good way. Roar Baby, Roar! It is my favorite, buy this for yourself or someone you like to sniff!

2. I hate to shave my pits. I do it (not often) but I hate it. My legs often, the beav often (did I really just write beav?) but the pits are such a chore for me. HATE.

3. I was a waitress for many years. I loved it! It paid my way through college and was such instant gratification...you do a good job, you get rewarded within an hour. With money! I still talk about missing it, often.

4. I was a ballet dancer for 13 years. I was told by my teacher often that I needed to lose 10 lbs starting at age 10. Some how I've never had any sort of an eating disorder.

5. I love to bake! I bake at least one thing every week. I blame this book I got about 8 years ago. When I got it I went crazy trying all sorts of recipes. Now I almost never use a recipe, I just know how much of everything to add. This is why I haven't yet come up with a recipe for this cake.

6. I love soup. I make soup just about every week, all from scratch. I like to make huge pots of it so I can have it for lunch throughout the week. This is the last pot of soup I made. Mmmmm, Minnestroni! Tonight I am making Cream of Broccoli.

7. I'd rather have a really good chewy bagel than a donut, any day. I used to be anble to say "no thanks" when donuts were offered until I got pregnant with Mason. Now I'll eat either and rarely say "no thanks" but mostly "yes please!"

Wow. That took forever. Just so you know this post was started on Dec 14th. Holla!

Don't be J!

My Dad is a really good guy. He's been an awesome Dad and a great Grandpa. When he works he dresses great. His shoes always match his belt and his suits are always perfectly tailored. When he's not working, Oh Sweet Lord!

One time my Dad went up to our cottage by himself. It is so peaceful and beautiful up there, that one of the things all of us do when we're there is to just sit quietly at the end of the dock. My Dad was sitting there were a boat drove up to him and asked him if he needed help. His red sweatpants, bright blue sweatshirt and obnoxious hat were taken as S.O.S. He laughs every time he talks about it but the red sweatpants are still up at the cottage and I am pretty sure he still wears them every time he's up there.

The other night when we got home from our little road trip, I ripped off my clothes and put on my most comfy duds. I looked okay, I think, until I realized I needed to take the dog out and put some more clothes on. Once I was ready to head out the door to walk the dog around the block, it hit me. "What am I wearing?"

I looked totally hot! No. I looked HAWT! So hawt in fact that Pedro grabbed my camera and started snapping. I posed for a few, then off I went to walk the dog. I think the dog may have been a little embarrassed.

I bet I make my Dad so proud some days!

I am mean.

I really didn't plan on leaving you guy hanging, I swear. I just couldn't take anymore whining and crying so I pushed publish! Then you got all mad at me.

We've come to the conclusion that the owners really don't want to let the house go. They built it themselves 31 years ago and lived there for 30. Serious attachment issues. And also that their realtor is an idiot. After our FINAL OFFER in bold, they came back last night with another counter offer. Yes, they did. And we politely gave them the finger. The middle one.

Last night we went out to dinner, after having chocolate cake, and I am now totally convinced that there is some reason that house isn't for us. It wasn't perfect, but I was ready to work some magic on it and make it really rad. You guys were right though. I am not at all ready to say goodbye to this house, although we'll have to soon enough. Now Pedro's got the bug, he spent all last night of the computer looking at more houses. I am on hold.

But guess what? They called again this morning to counter again. Douche Bags. That's OK! I still have half a chocolate cake here and it's the best damn chocolate cake ever!

Dream Home, part 4: The Waiting Game

I don't know about you but when I am waiting for something, I try to keep myself busy.

First my worry wart genes wake my ass up at 4: 15 am.


Then I turn into a Betty Crocker/ Martha Stewart wannabe.



That'd be a spinach and feta omlet, potatoes and sausages!



"I like it when my Mom is trying to keep herself busy!"

Then I make my kids go outside and "have fun" in the blizzard we are having just so I can take pictures of them.





Then when the kids are good and worn out I put them both down for a long winters nap and wait some more!

The floors get scrubbed, clothes get washed, and then my crazy domestic brain starts to think about chocolate cake! Hot Damn! Some how we happen to have all the ingredients to make it, with homemade chocolate frosting too!



My kids wake up just in time to help me frost.





Then we eat a totally Weight Watcher Friendly Chocolate Cake with Chocolate Cream Cheese frosting!
And I am very, very good at lying to myself at this point!


And then we finally get a phone call...

Later today, I swear. I cannot neglect my kids any longer!