Remember back in April when I wrote about my lovely neighbor? You know, the one you all agreed I should drop kick with a pointy boot? Well I thought you may be wanting an update, yes?
She is such a bitch.
Hahahahahah. (All while smiling.)
How was that?
For the most part I've managed to keep my distance as much as a person can keep from a next door neighbor. I don't invite her over. I don't do anything with her. All conversations are kept relatively generic. Yesterday, for some stupid reason I was feeling like I wanted to go out of my way to be nice to her. Why? WHY?
Mike got home from work and we were grilling our dinner on the deck. I went up to him and said, "Should we be super nice and offer Her a glass of wine since she is sitting in her backyard?"
Mike must have known it was a stupid suggestion because he replied, "Why?"
I told him I was feeling like I wanted to do something nice for her. Just because.
We'll call her The Queen (TQ).
Me: The Queen! Would you like a glass of wine? We are opening a bottle.
TQ: Oh! What kind is it?
Me: It is red.
Me: Menage 'a Trois.
TQ: Um, I'll pass. Thanks.
First of all she knew I was talking about the wine and not inviting her over for a threesome. She has had the wine before, it just isn't good enough for her snobbish pallet.
I know I am a self-declared coffee snob but if someone offered me a cup of coffee just to be nice you can bet that, I wouldn't ask them what brand it was. I would accept and I would drink it even if it was Folgers! I may not enjoy it fully, but I would enjoy it because it was kind for that person to go out of their way to offer me a cup of coffee. Period.
So I guess I should be glad I didn't offer her the box of white wine that I have in the fridge. Or maybe I should! I should tell her that it is some vintage $100 a bottle stuff and see what her distinguished pallet tells her about it! Oooo, that would be so fun! Phony Snob!
Should I do it?