Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Chucky my boy. . .

xmas 2005 002xmas 2005 001

I have to say, and this may not be pretty, I have begun to get nervous about my darling boys behavior. He is turning into a bully. And, GOD, no one wants a bully for a kid. This weekend Mason saw his cousin (we'll call him BIG) who is 9 months younger but the same size and beat up on him the whole time. Mason would push him down, slap him with both hands and even put him in a head lock and proceeded to drag him on the wood floor. AWESOME! I can't even count how many timeouts he had. He even got to the point of smacking BIG then putting himself into timeout. Well that is just great. I am firm believer in the philosophy of "not apologizing for your kid/s" I think it sends the wrong message. But, I can't help but worry that this is a reflection of parenting style. What is a lady to do? I don't want to beat the boy(OK,well maybe I do sometimes, BUT I DON'T!) Timeouts are being proved un-effective, and we are very consistent with the way we do them.

*We put him in and a non-distracting place, where he stays for the entire 2 minutes without restraint.

*Once the 2 minutes is up, we go to him, get down to his level, explain what the "no no" was.

*We have him say sorry to whomever he hurt.

*Then give him and hug/kiss and tell him "all done, go play." and we drop it.

So what the hell are we doing wrong? Then, last night we went out to eat at Perkins. When we got there we found out it was kids night. They had movies playing and activities for the kids. Mason wanted to go over there so after he was done eating, Mike took him. And then he came back without the boy. "there is a lady over there who watches them, so she told me I could leave and she'd watch him." We were both skeptical and we didn't think Mason would last long. . .He didn't. Within 5 minute this adult babysitter brings him back to us "He is beating up on the older kids!" I swear, those were her exact words. EMBARRASSING! That is all I can say.

I want to hope that this is just a phase, but it sucks. No one wants to play with a mean kid, so what do I do next? We are really trying to do everything "right" with discipline, but it is not working at all! HELP!

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Christmas Eve

Late night,
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way later,
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morning results!
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Worth every penny!
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Saturday, December 24, 2005

Merry Christmas to all. . .

. . .and to all a goodnight! May your holiday be filled with as little stress as possible and may you all enjoy your families (as disfunctional as they may be, wink).
If you see Santa, tell him we could use his help assembling this massive train table with 8000 bridges, tracks and trains. Thanks!

Friday, December 23, 2005

Crabby Pants and Pedicures

What the hell?
First of all, Mason has slept through the night for the past 4 nights. Awesome! The downside, he has been getting up before 6am. Rough! To me this whole "sleeping through the night" business seems pretty over-rated. Before, he'd get up around 4am I'd nurse him for about 10 minutes and he'd sleep until 7 at least. Now, pshaaa, I'd give anything to sleep that late. So what do I do? I can't encourage the kid to wake up during the night, but he clearly is not getting enough sleep.
Second, his naps, they're jacked. He went three days without and I was terrified that this may have been the end of napping. Then the past 3 days, he took huge naps again. At least 3 hours. Now today no nap again and he woke at 5:30 am. I cannot figure it out. I just can't believe that he'd go from needing a super long nap to none at all. It doesn't seem possibe. He was yawning this morning already at 9:30. He asks for "nigh,nigh" then he stands in his crib and screams. It is literally making me crazy!
So, what is a crazy woman to do, I had my nails done. I am not a polish person, but I love to sit in a massage chair while someone is shaving DNA off my feet with a cheese slicer. The more shredded cheese/skin I see on the towel, the more I think my $40 is money well spent. Mind you this was first the man/ped since I was preggo so I was over due. The downside, my germiphobia. While the girl was doing my nails she nicked my cuticle and it turned pink and blead a little tiny bit. No big deal, accidents happen all the time. But then I start thinking if other people blood is in the cuticle oil, "could I get HIV or what about HEP B?" I wondered how long blood could survive it the different solutions. I know, I know I should really talk to someone about it. Have I ever mention that I know incubation periods for cold and flu viruses.
EXAPLE: So, say Mason played with a sick kid on Tuesday, If Thursday night he is not showing any signs of getting sick, good. If Friday he is good, he is in the clear, 72 hours and you are home free.
Enough about my issues, I am tired and I need to go to bed now so I can be ready to play at 5:30. Yippee!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Spoiled Rotten

And I wouldn't want it any other way. I thought I was done with shopping for my sweet boy, but something happened. Something magical. . . have you seen the Thomas train table at Barnes and Noble? Well let me just tell you that Mason adores that thing! I found a sweet train table about 2 weeks ago that came with all the goods and had two stash drawers. I decided to buy it and at the very end, "sorry, sold out. We'll email you when more come in." That Sucks!
Today I was just playing around on-line and tried to order it again, it went through! So then I got suckered into paying for 2 day shipping, an additional $63 dollars. But my boy will have the Train Table of his dreams, on Christmas morning. I can't wait to see his beaming face. (remind me of this Christmas Eve when we are up all night putting it together, all 200 pieces.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Don't worry about me. . .

I'm just over here pulling out my eyelashes one by one. Seriously, close to it. Be thankful I waited until today to post. Otherwise you would've had to wade through the F*bombs to get to my point. Point is, my beautiful little boy did not take a nap in 3 days. THREE DAYS PEOPLE! To me, that is torture. For those of you who know me well, Mason is a super napper that takes a 2.5 to 4 hour nap every day. I get everything done in that time. Needless to say, I've gotten nothing done since Friday and have had an unbarable toddler to boot. AAggghhh!
But, do you hear that, aahh, it is the sound of silence as my darling boy sleeps. So I am off to catch up on everything that didn't get done.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Two years ago today...

mason tiny 003

It is hard to believe you are 2 today! You have come so far from the tiny preemie I had two years ago, yet a lot about you still holds true today. When you decided you were ready to come out, out you came. You didn't care that you were supposed to "cook" another six weeks. It was pretty scarey those first few days, but you were a fighter. And you are still a fighter. You fight me changing your diaper, you fight when it is time to leave the train table at Barnes and Noble, and you fight when you are tired of me taking to long at the grocery store. Anyone who has spent any amount of time around you has commented "what a busy boy." That you are, a busy boy!

mason tiny 016

You have developed quite a personality and you definitely have some quirks. You still hardly eat. Unless of course it is some green vegetable. I am not joking. The other nightI made a super nice dinner and after your thrid helping of green beans, we thought it was time for you to eat something else, no such luck. We then laughed and wondered how many other parents have to limit the amount of vegetables there kids eat. You still nurse though and really have shown no signs of stopping. I sometimes wish you would, but I have to say I relish those before bed sessions in the rocking chair. I love your warm, baby scented body nuzzled up close to me and sometimes wish I could just stop time and stay there with you forever.


Your language has recently astonished your Dada and I. You repeat everything and have now started putting your own thoughts together. The other night your Dada left the car to run in the house and you immediately got worried and said,"Dada back?" You love to tattle on yourself too. If I am in the other room and I hear "wha di do doo?" I come running to figure out what did you do. You are great at naming animals too. This week we had your picture taken. The very patient girl kept trying to get you to laugh with a stuffed frog then a feather duster, then a lady bug, then back to the frog. You blurted out "fauk!" The shocked girl asked what you said and I quickly defended you saying " That's right, it is a frog!" You are also really into singing and dancing. Your Dada and I love watching you perform your own rendition of the Wiggles "Rock-a-bye Your Bear". It is the cutest ever! You are also completely into trucks, tractors and trains. You love to say Hi to them "ha twac-tew!". You also give your favorite truck and train (Lony) kisses before you go off to bed.

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Speaking of your Dada, watching the two of you brings me to tears often. You have these special little things you do. You are not the typical little polite boy who shakes hands, your Dada went all out and taught you the "bumping knuckles" thing. You know where you make a fist and touch another persons knuckles with yours. It is amazing sitting back and watching both of you light-up from the joy of being around the other. You are a very lucky boy to have a Dad who adores you as much as your Dad does.

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I know it sounds funny Mason but the love I have for you grows everyday. I now understand the things I use to hear about "loving so much it hurts". I can't even describe it, but I have these overwhelming feelings in my chest and throat when we have special times together, that I have never felt before. I love it when I am busy doing something and you get right in my face, rub my arm and say "Ha Mama!" I love it when your Dada brings you in to wake me up each morning. Seeing your smiling face is the best way to wake up, hands down. I love it when you give kisses and you always have to make a "mmmmm" sound before you will kiss. There are so many thing I love about you I could go on for days. You have made my life so exciting and I can't wait to see how you grow over the next year. You are an amazing little person and make me so happy and if I can make you half as happy as you've made me. . .my job has been a success.

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I love you Mason!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Plumber Crack Central

For those of you who have or have had a two-year old, oh screw it, if you ever will have a two-year old, BEWARE! This morning I planned on finishing up my Christmas shopping. I showered and put on make-up while my curious two-year old watched. Fine, I am used to that part. But, while I was drying my hair, Mason decided to drop my wedding band down the drain! No, not my whole ring, but still, my platinum wedding band with a few little diamonds in it! I freaked, but for some reason I never yelled. Mason cowered when he saw the look of terror on my face. My arm-pits immediately started to drip. At first I could see it in the stopper so I tried to gently pull that up, it fell further. Then I could see it stuck on a little hook so I went and got to ka-bob skewers, I knocked it off the hook, and down it fell. I panicked. I tried to call Pedro, but of course couldn't reach him, so I pulled out the big guns. I knew I had to unscrew the pipes to get to the trap. That shit is TIGHT, but adrenaline kicked in and after about 5 minutes I managed to get it. I was not (wretch) ready for the smell. (wretch) It smelled so bad(wretch) like. . .GOD, I can't even describe it bad! And the black chunky liquid that came out, disgusting! But in that sludge was my sparkling ring, of coarse with a little black stuff hanging from it(gag). I have my ring and that is all that matters. So now, in honor of my work today, go out and kiss (make-out with) your plumber and tell them how much you appreciate what they do! Nasty!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

We've got high hopes for our boy!

You've all heard of the Naked Cowboy right? You know, the one who plays his guitar on the busy streets of NY? Well move over Super-size, theres a small-fry ready to take your place.
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And apperently he really is proud of his boobies.
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and pampers.
What can I say, he'll do great things one day! Ahh, he makes us so proud.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Santa Baby, I'm not feelin' you!

Santa, you freak me out alittle,
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but here's my best poker face.
santa 007

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Snowy Saturday

We did it, but we didn't. We participated in the biggest caroling cluster ever, yet I highly doubt there were any records made. Tons of cute pics were taken but you'll have to wait until tomorrow for those. Or if you are really impatient and just can't wait that long. Ms. Mamma posted all about it (pictures too!).

Friday, December 09, 2005

Where my Girls at?

I am asking for help. Please help me feel normal. . .I believe that every married couple has there share of issues. I also believe that those issues stem from one big issue. It is the holiday season and that means a time for our (myself and Pedro) issues to magnify themselves into one festering boil that just needs to be popped. What I am asking for is for you my fellow readers in one word to define your big marital issue. One word so as not to incriminate oneself. For example: One of my best friends has blowout fights/arguments reguarding money. They figure out a way to eliminate their issue, and it returns a week later in a different form.
The one word post : Finances.
Let me get the ball rolling, mine: In-laws.
Don't be shy, reply!

Christmas Random

First of all, I have a new favorite Christmas song. It is, drumroll please. . . God Rest ye Marry Gentlemen by the BNL and Sarah McLaughlin. I am sure I totally butchered the spelling on that one, but you gotta check it out. I can't possibly listen to it without a little hip wiggle, even in public. I got it off of itunes. If I were blog-ified enough, I would put it on here for you all to hear, but I am not so you are on your own.
Next, tomorrow morning ms. mamma and I are taking the boys to get into the Guinness book of World Records. I knew something great would happen to me one day, and here we frickin' go! We have this cool part of our downtown called the 400 block (god is that original). Anyway it is this big grassy area framed by city streets and there are often cool things that take place there. In the summer they have concerts every Wednesday night where most people bring picnic-y type food and you can even bring booze to get wasted while watching. But usually it consists of lots of "crunchy" people, occasionally bellydancing. In the fall I took Mason to a petting zoo there. Germ Phobic me took Mason but only because they gave out mini free bottles of Purell. I digress. So about tomorrow. It is a big Christmas Caroling Cluster! It should be pretty neat if the 4000 people expected really do show up. Look for me in the upcoming edition of the Guinness book. You can also find me in the glossary under, Mom with the least patients with a two-year old. Another Post

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

The Chill Pug

The Chill Pug
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.
Seriously, he is the most awesome dog ever. The pug needs some credit!

The Girth Tree

The Girth Tree
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.
Here is the tree. The bottom is a little sparse, but apperently "Master of Destruction" likes it that way!

Monday, December 05, 2005

Weekend Hoopla

** If I could, let me start by saying I will not be taking Mason shopping anywhere by myself anymore. We just got back from Sam's Club, just to buy diapers, and he was terrible! To give you an idea, one of the deli people asked if they could give him some ice cream so he would "shut the hell up!" OK so a bit of exaggeration but really, you get the point, who walks out and offers free ice cream from a deli? I didn't have the heart to tell the guy that my kid doesn't eat, and could care less about ice cream, so I graciously thanked him and shoved a spoonful into my noisy boy's mouth!(again, a tad exaggeration, no need for protective services.)

After eating cake throughout the day Friday, we had two parties to go to that night. Ms. Mamma had a party so we spent the majority of the night there. It is always fun for Mason to play with her "Snowflake." We planned on having my parents babysit, but they ended up at the party with us.

Saturday, we got our Christmas tree, or as some advertise Holiday tree, LAME! Pedro and I were like the blind leading the blind. We had no idea what to look for in a tree. We ended up getting a perfect tree, a tad more girth than I would normally like, but it is nice. It is all decorated and sparkly. I'll post a picture later. By the way, have any of you heard of spinners? No, not the ones that spin dubs on the Escalade, the ones for the Christmas tree. They are so cool. I saw them at the first party we were at on Friday night, and I knew I just had to have them. They replace a little bulb on a string of lights and you hang your prettiest ornament from it and it slowly spins it! It is the neatest!

Now today starts round two of my teaching. I teach my afterschool program today and Wednesday from 3:15- 5:00, and I teach my yoga class just Mondays from 6:30 - 7:30. The yoga class has become a very welcome break that I just happen to get paid for! For the afterschool program I am teaching a childcare class and I am more that welcome to bring my own boy to be the guinea pig. If they can take care of him, they pass with flying, freaking colors! I have no lesson plans ready though so today during nap-time, my quiet time will be spent doing that. I'll keep you all posted.

Friday, December 02, 2005

My ass is growing!

My ass is growing!
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.
mmmmm. . .cake! from Cold Stone!

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

My Syndrome.

Tomorrow is a big day, it is my 28th birthday. I plan on staying home and eating cake, lots of freakin' cake. My husband came home for lunch, and I made sure to put in my request,
"I decided what kind of cake I want for my birthday. I huge chocolate chip cookie!"

I have always had this annoying tendancy to use "My Birthday" for all it is worth. I vividly remember a college roomate saying, "Oh your one of those on your Birthday." Yes everyone, I am. I love to get breakfast in bed, the laundry folded, and any other tasks I hate to do on a daily basis done for me. I even went so far as saying to my husband, "Are you going to leave all your lunch stuff out for me to clean-up? Tomorrow is my birthday." It's Ok, you don't have to read that last line twice, it really didn't make sense anyway! I will not be going out, I probably won't even have a glass of wine (because it still messes with my boy's sleep). I'll be at home tomorrow with the two most important men in my life. That is if I don't annoy them out of the house with my crazy birthday syndrome.
note: I really am not 12 but. . . I just did spell check and freakin came up with suggestion to change to foreskin. bahaha

Monday, November 28, 2005


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Originally uploaded by glamgranola.
It is miserable here. All the snow has melted and instead it is windy and pouring rain! Sometimes I question what the hell I was thinking to move from warm and sunny Florida to cold and wet Wisconsin. So, to brighten up my day and whoever else it experiencing winter weather. . .I give you this!

Saturday, November 26, 2005

A Spark of Holiday Spirit

I know a few of us bloggers have written about random people that give random comments, that tend to offend us in some way. When I say random, I mean just that, someone we have never seen or talked to in our lives. Since it seems to be so easy for me to point out the negative, I just have to tell you what I saw today.

My mom and I weren't brave enough to fight the crowds yesterday, but some how we were today. That 24 hours didn't make it a whole lot better! So, we were at TJMaxx and it was packed. It was crowded and loud and, ugh, just chaotic. But amongst all the clatter of the shoppers you could hear a little girl, screaming, really screaming, an all out meltdown. She wanted something and her mom apparently said no which sent the girl into a fit of rage. The Mom of this little girl stayed very calm and stuck to her guns, not willing to give in. She ignored the fit, tried to distract the little girl, but nothing worked. After about 5 minutes you could see the mom becoming defeated. Her cheeks where red as tomatoes and her neck and chest where a blotchy reddish/purplish color from embarrassment. Everyone was looking at this point. Some rolling their eyes wondering why she wasn't "taking care" of the situation, others trying to help graciously. But there was this one woman, probably in her 70's that walked by the mom and quietly said, "It is OK, we've all been there. Just relax." It seemed like the sweetest, most perfect thing to say to the desperate mom. I am not sure what the mom ended up doing after that, I was so taken back by the older woman. I guess it just hit really close to home. It is nice to know that there are people out there that realize how difficult it can be to raise a "spirited" child. I have to admit also that I was extremely happy to have left my spirited child at home with his spirited dad.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Holiday Shmoliday bla bla bla. . .

At what point do holidays stop being days we look forward to and start becoming the dreaded days?
I feel sort of bad about his. I guess I feel sort of selfish. I mean, everyone needs a piece of you and you give all this time and travel and energy, and what part do you have left to enjoy? Then of course there is the whole part about feeling guilty. "What if we spend 5.6 hours with one side of the family and 8.3 with the other? Will the 5.6 side be offended?" Blah, blah, blah. I have been with my husband for 6 years now, and this whole thing should be figured out by now, right? Wrong. It causes more stress now than ever since there is a little person involved. I sometimes just wish there was a rule book for the married couple. It would read something like this...
1. Holidays with that end with -day are strictly optional. You don't feel like participation, don't.
2. You got a kid? You decide how you want to celebrate with your child.
3. Starting your own traditions are very important! No questions asked.
4. etc. etc.

I have been scouring every book store to find such a handbook, but no such luck. Until then, you can find me at the butcher. You want a piece of me too? There is an ass muscle that hasn't been claimed yet and is up for grabs!

-signing off

Monday, November 21, 2005

Victoria's Secret...Here I Come !

Let me paint a picture if I can. . . hot pink floral capris at least 2 sizes too big, blue worn-out college t-shirt, and last but not least my suede slipper boots. OK, so I would even admit I probably didn't look quite hot enough to be a Victoria's Secret model, but I didn't think I looked that bad. Maybe in was the falling out ponytail on the top of my head. . .what ever it was apparently was not real fly!
It was around 9 pm and I was getting ready for bed in the bathroom, bent over the sink spitting out a wad of foam. I could feel someone staring at me, only one person looks at me around that time of night. . .night time nooky! Oh how wrong I was. When I looked over to meet the gazing eyes of my husband, he was looking at me in awe, laughing!
"What are you wearing!"
"Where is the camera? I've get to get a picture."
Only then did I look down and notice how trashy I looked. I was embarrassed for a second that my own husband was seeing my like this! But I had a reputation to keep. . .
"Don't you dare take a picture or I'll hurt you!"
I didn't take them off though. For some reason, I needed to have one last night with my duds. Needless too say, there was no nookie had in this house.
So last night, I went out by myself and bought some new PJ's. Nothing sexy, but better than what I was wearing. Hopefully now my husband can look at me without laughing!

By the way Pedro, no chance I am giving up my booties!

Friday, November 18, 2005

I try to do the right thing. . . Really!

**For word: I am sorry if this may offend, but this is MY outlet and a girl needs to vent before she blows!

Two days ago, I get a call from my husband who was at work. He was calling because his older brother had called and asked him when we were planning on celebrating Mason's 2nd Birthday. Yes, I know, we needed to get on top of it anyway being it was a little over a month away. . .but who does that. I would never call someone and ask when they planned on having a party, what if they didn't plan on inviting me! Well of course we would have invited him, I just didn't think it was very appropriate. So. . .We decided that we'd have a get together on Mason's actual Birthday since it was a Saturday. What better day for a party than a Saturday, right? Well that is what we thought. We've been brainstorming about what we plan on doing and talked a little about it this morning when my over-polite husband says,
"Oh, by the way. . .we are suppose to switch the date for Mason's party because my Dad's christmas party is that day."
All I could say is,
"Are you serious? Well then just let me know when it works for everyone to have the party and we'll have it then."
Is that right? Should I really have to do that? I mean, there is a point to 'keeping the peace' but really this is ridiculous to me.
At this point, I am really going to wait and let my in-laws decide what date is most convenient for them, and we'll have the party for my son then. Gaaahhh!

Sometimes I question whether I am going crazy by letting these things bother me. . .how would you feel?

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Name that Bodily Function. . .

Last night we were all in the car and my always polite and cosiderate husband let a huge fart! Before I could tell him how sick it was, Mason yelled "Poop!"
"No Honey, not a full blown poop, but I am sure skid marks are involved!"

Have you had a Susser today?

I have created a monster! Mason is on his hunger strike again and over the past 2 days has eaten almost nothing! I know I should not worry, he is healthy and growing just fine, however I know he has got to be hungry. He has been pretty fussy lately too, which I can't help but think is do to hunger. So. . . when he gets extremely whiney I ask, "are you hungry, what do you want?" The only thing he he replies is "Susser, Susser peeeaassee!"
Ladies and gentlemen, I have a sucker whore on my hands!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Mason the BOY!

First Hair trim 003
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.
Here is a glimps of the mini trim. Ho looks older now, don't you think? Wwwwaaaahhhh!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

The Baby is now a Boy!

It has been and exciting day for us! Mason-my baby got his first hair trim. No, not a cut a hair trim. I immediately told my hairstylist that she could not call it a haircut or she would not only have to deal with a unruly boy, but also a sobbing mom. I am not sure why this was so hard for me. A few times during the 5 minutes it took her I felt drips of nervous sweat falling from my armpits. But, I did it and survived without a tear shed. He looks very cute. I would not let her give him the traditional "boy" cut, because my boy is just not. . .traditional. So now that some of the 6 inch pieces are caught up to the 2 inch pieces, I think I'll be growing it out!
In other news. . .Tonight before his bath, like everynight, Mason sat on his potty. However instead of his typical high-pressure fart, the boy went pee in the potty. We cheered, we clapped, and even saved it for Dada( who went through the same celebration again). What a bittersweet day. Call me lame again, but it is as hard to watch your baby grow into a little person as it is beautiful.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

There is a Warrant for my Arrest!

Seriously, I am sure they could charge me with something, I was definitely a smart-ass. It went something like this:

Cop trying to make $: "Hi is this Mrs. ****?"

Me: "Yes it is."

C: "Hi, I am Officer 'Douchebag' and I know that you want to help keep your neighborhood safe, right?"

Me: "Yup! But I don't have money to give you!"

C: " It is only $15.00 and you get a decal too. I'll even give you a couple of weeks to save up. . . I'll take an extra coffee break in your honor!?"

(bite your tongue Ann. . . Seriously! But, he didn't just say that he'd take an extra coffee break on my account did he? I've never been very good at holding back what I really think, so. . . )

Me: "Will you stop at Krispy Kreme in my honor too?"

C: " You are out of control! Will you donate?"

Me: "No Thanks!"

C: "Bye."

So I am sure he is looking up my record as we speak. Life goes on, even if I am looking over my shoulder for the next 5 years waiting to be arrested!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

The Mystery of the Magic Word Unveiled

Today it all became clear as the why those few world in the English language are called "magic words".

Mason woke normally from his nap today and usually to keep him from his one track boobie mind, I offer him something to drink and a healthy snack. Maybe an apple or some cheese crackers and raisins. Whatever, you get my point. Well today, I left out the Halloween candy that I was snacking on during his nap. Mason spotted it immediately and found his favorite. . . a tootsie pop. After trying a few minutes to get off the wrapper himself, he held the sucker up to me and said, "peeeaaasssee, pppeeeaaasssee." Now how could I say "No" when he is saying the magic word? So, the boy got his sucker. Little does he know I would have given him about anything as a result of that powerful little word coming from my baby's mouth.

Hello,my name is Ann and I. . .am LAME.

I have been neglecting my beloved blog, BAD! But what can I say, I have been a busy, busy girl. The house #2: coming along. The naughty boy: naughty as ever, brings my to tears almost daily now! My lame job: LAME. No let me rephrase that, I am lame because I just can't seem to handle it all. Yes, I only work 4 hours per week, but it is so much more than that. I have to make sure I have a sitter, ( who is eating me out of house and home in one hour flat). Make sure I time what time Mason wakes up from his nap, because all hell breaks loose if Mama or Dada aren't the ones to get him out of his crib. Then, I listen to him scream as a shut the door behind me. Laugh if you will, but I am not handling this job with much grace. I think I'll be done with my afterschool program next week, for good. My Yoga class is awesome and have agreed to keep that up. Hopefully this means me work load will go from a whimpy 4 hours to a measly 1 hour per week.
In other news my wonderful niece gave me a lesson on how to use my blog to it's full potential. So, by next week I should be airing exerpts from my favorite porno! Keep watching!

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Monkey Mason

halloween 010
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.
Mason was a monkey this year when he wore his hat. . .Goldmember without. Doesn't he look so much older? There are more pics on flickr

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Halloween of the Past

Last Year's Halloween!
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.
Since tomorrow is the day for dress up (even though it is not officially Halloween), I thought I'd post last years picture. Mason was 10 mos. and boy was he a chub! I think he weighs the same now! It makes me a little sad to see how fast he is growing up! Cliche' I know, but still the truth. Happy Halloween My Love. Make Mama and Dada proud and score us a bunch of candy!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Monster Mash . . .this is not about Halloween either!

I just got back from lunch with my friend Jill, her kids, her mom and lil sister. So the demographics where something like this: 3 adults, 3 children, and one MONSTER! Yes, today Mason takes the title of Monster Child. HE. WAS. AWFUL!! (notice double exclamation points!) We got there and the first thing he did was climb under the table and proceed to eat any morsels of food he found. quick note: he did this at the same time I was using a Clorox wipe to disinfect his highchair! Have I ever mentioned how I feel about Karma? Then once the kid had an actual plate of food in front of him, he liked my friends mom's plate way more! He decided he was done eating about 45 seconds later and crawled out of his highchair. I caught him and he showed me who was boss by smearing both arms of my black shirt with refried beans. I finally decided it was hopeless and took him out of the highchair. He took off like a worldclass sprinter through the restaurant. When I captured him, he proceeded to arch the back, scream like I was ripping off his toenails, and kick his legs like a mother! I was sweating by this point and contemplated putting him in the car in his carseat so I could eat! I had flashes of legal cases in my head and tried to recall at what point it is not neglect to leave a child unattended in a parked car. Anyone know about this law? I may need to know really soon. I am exausted and pissed. Thank God the kid still takes naps! I am off to go call my friend to apoligize for ruining her lunch!

A Note:

Dear Pumpkin Smasher,
I hope you got off smashing our neighborhood pumpkins. I hope you pulled a muscle in your back in the process of breaking our 40 lb. pumpkin. I hope you are embarrassed when you can't "perform" with your pubesent nasty little girlfriend. I hope she tells your whole class about you. Waahhh! Karma is a bitch. Best Wishes and Happy Halloween!

Monday, October 24, 2005

My crystal ball says. . .

I am screwed until we sell this house! Not our house, that other house that we are "flipping". It was a productive weekend at the other house! We now have all the landscaping over-grown crap chopped down and yanked, but now we have to figure out what to put in its spot. (mind you we will be trying to sell in January.) We also got the ceilings painted in the entire house, the dining room/living room painted, new shutters on the house and the garage painted. breathe
Now today is my busy day. I teach my K and 1st graders from 4-5 and then teach yoga from 6:30 -7:30. For my faithful viewers that were wondering how my first class went. . . Awesome! I was so worked up about teaching I had the poops! I decided I'd practice on my kids in the afternoon. Some of them were so into it, it totally eased my mind. When it was time to teach the adults it went so well. I had 13 women show up and no one talked at the beginning. At the end of class 5 different women came up tp me and told me how much they enjoyed it! They are already concerned about what they'll do after the 6 weeks are up. I have already been asked if I'll keep teaching! Hello Ego Booster! I am not one to toot my own horn but, "toot freakin toot"!!! Tonight is class 2 and I hope it goes as well as the first, I musn't dissapoint!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005


Originally uploaded by glamgranola.
I LOVE this picture!

Have you hugged a tree lately?

Originally uploaded by glamgranola.
What can I say the boy loves nature. Who doesn't kiss trees any shance they get? He is crunchy at heart!

Still me with a new look!

Hey everyone. I just was ready for a little change. The dots on the last design were causing me seizures when I would lay in bed at night. Who knows, maybe I 'll have a new design next week too?

Monday, October 17, 2005

Enya's In the House!

Being a stay at home Mom, I occasionally have days where I think to myself,"What in the HELL are you thinking?" I have to admit, I used to have an active social life, I was able at one point to drink more than A beer, and still be able to carry a somewhat intellectual conversation. I said somewhat. Anyway, now I have given all that up, to stay home, wear the very sexy nursing bra, and watch my child grow into a little person. Lately however, Mason is getting pretty naughty. We have this return vent (I think that is what it is called.) that Mason has scaled so many times that it is beyond repair. The place in the plaster where the screws once went could now hold a tube of chapstick. Just recently, I have figured something out. Mason is a very petite eater and there are days that a whole bowl of snacks will disappear in a matter of 2 minutes! Yes I think Mason has made his very own game of chutes and latters out of our perfectly functioning vent. I can't wait for a cold day to crank the heat and hear hulls of poporn popping like Jiffy Pop!
The other day was one of those days. One of those days that I would have traded jobs with the greeter at Wal-mart in a heartbeat. Mason was being so naughty I didn't know what to do. So. . .I did what any desparate Mom would do, I put in a trusty WIGGLES dvd. I escaped to the computer. Within 2 minutes I heard something so loud it jolted my body! Someway, somehow, Mason had opened the "child-proof" armoire turned on the sterio to CD and cranked the volume to about as loud as it could go. I bet you never thought of Enya as ear deafening music. It was! I went bounding down the stairs ready to lose it and when I got down there I could not believe what I saw. Mason was in the middle of the room twirling and dancing to blaring Enya. I started laughing so hard I cried, and all I could do was hug the boy and tell him how much I loved him. I wouldn't change jobs for the world.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

my BOY!!!

May-Me Himself
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.
Did I mention that one of the little boys in my class told me that Mason WAS a GIRL! Duuuhhh. . .you have to be a girl if you wear red shoes (even with a dump truck on them) and if your hair isn't a quarter-inch long! Bite me kid! My kid is the cutest kid around and I'm keepin' him. Baby mullet and all!

It's Official. . .

I am a working Mom. Well, sort of. I finished my three hours of work for the week. Monday, my first dayI was a little nervous, OK a lot nervous, but everything turned out fine. I mean who doesn't like to play Duck, duck, goose for a half hour? Then Tuesday, I got really nervous! My Mom (aka Mason's sitter) was very sick and contagious with a mouth full of cold sores. No thank you, you can keep those to yourself. So I had no option but to bring him with me. It went great! Mason was doing all he could to keep up with "If your happy and you know it. . ." Then we spent the rest of to hour having free time on the playground. Everyone loves a playground! I also had a built in babysitter. An adorable little Kindergarten girl Kylie walked behind Mason wherever he went. She pushed him ever so gently on the swings, held his hand on the bridge. . .It was so cute I almost arranged a marriage for the year 2032. So I think my mini job is going to be just fine. Now next week I start my yoga classes on Monday nights. I am pretty nervous for that one. Adults are a little harder to impress than youngin's.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Too Much Stuff . . .

At what point do I say WHOA! I have so much stuff going on (hence to lack of postage). We closed on our "investment house" on Friday and Mike Started roofing it within a half hour of closing. . .I haven't seen him since! The man is a roofing fool, he was conserving his energy by peeing off the roof and not using precious energy to climb the latter for a useless bathroom trip. Hey when you've got the tools to aim why not use them right? Ah, the joys of having man meat.

On another note, I start my JOB today. That's right, I will be starting my afterschool program today. From 4-5 I will be sweating profusely from trying to entertain 14 Kinders and 1st graders. Then next week I start my adult yoga class. It is such a change from just staying home. Although it is only a combined 4 hours, I need to feel somewhat prepared. And I am lacking on that feeling. Anyone willing to send me good vibes BRING IT! I need em'

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

I'm Stuck Post

Part I

A few nights ago I was woken up at 1:30am to a Mason cry. Don't get me wrong, it is still almost a nightly ritual for him to get up at least once, but this night it was different. This time, it was an "I am scared/ or hurt /or need help cry." I bolted up the stairs or as fast as my legs move at that hour and into his room. Mason was standing up holding onto the side of his crib crying, "th-tuck, th-tuck, th-tuck."The boy was wrapped up in his blanket like a burrito and couldn't move. he was indeed stuck. I couldn't help but laugh after of couse getting him un-raveled. Poor kid is probably having mummy dreams and it isn't even Halloween yet!

Part II
I go in spurts with reading. There was a period pre- Mason was born that I read sometimes 3 books a week. Now post-Mason I am luck to read 6 books a year. I happend to be watching Oprah last week (which I never do anymore because she drives me crazy) and it was her book club show. The book is called A Million Little Pieces. It is non-fiction about addiction, drug and alcohol. It is raw. It is violent. It is absolutely captivating! It hits close to home for me since my family is plagued with addiction and I haven't been able to put it down. Except of course when Mason starts to rip the pages. I have 15 more pages and I promise to be un-stuck!

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Friday, September 30, 2005

Yup, I definately absolutely positively am a MOM!

There have been a few instances over the past 21 months that have confirmed, I mean really confirmed that I AM REALLY A MOM!

10. I have licked my hand and smoothed my sons crazy hair.

9. I have gotten poop on my hand (many times) and didn't bat an eye.

8. I have knowingly drank from a water bottle shared with my son that had visible backwash "floaters".

7. I have used the sleeve of my favorite shirt to wipe a dirty face.

6. I pick someones nose other than my own.

5. I have taken sympathy bites of an unknown pre-moistened food to encourage sharing ( and acted like I loved it!)

4. I can always find a raisin or cheerio or goldfish on the bottom of my purse.

3. I have licked off a "who knows how old" fruit snack stuck on my sons hand before going into a store.

2. My almost 2 year-old son is dressed better than me.

1. I'd do all of it again, because I love him that much!

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

It hurts so good!

Ok, I am full of mixed emotions! I love 'em and I hate 'em all at the same time. They have turned my house upside down. My son screams and says "mo" all in a second flat. Then he taps his fingers together like he is having a seizure. You may ask what could be causing such a rukus? It is the crack cocaine of the strait and narrow. . .Krispy Kreme.
One of my neighbors happens to work there and gets to bring them home nightly. Who got the gift of evil from last night. . .thats right WE did! Two dozen to be exact, for a family of three. Mmmm, the original glazed does a girl so right and makes me feel so naughty. They are not hot off the line, but all it takes is the zap of a microwave. . .7 seconds to heaven! This is all you'll hear from me for the next few hours. I am busy stuffing my face with glazed demons, Mmmmmmmmm. . .

Monday, September 26, 2005

Orchard Love!

Orchard Love!
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.
We picked apples this weekend at a beautiful orchard! We also realized that since Mason has come into the world, we have not taken a single picture of just us. So this is the forst post Mason picture. All together, aaaaawwwww.

Friday, September 23, 2005

My Soapbox!

"there is now evidence that the longer a child breastfeeds, the higher that child's IQ score and school grades will be in later years, with a dose effect evident even beyond two years of nursing."

For those of you who know me well, I am a huge supporter of breastfeeding. I think it has done wonders in "catching up" my little preemie. But don't get me wrong, it is not for everyone. Some women don't feel comfortable with the whole boob thing, or they can't get past the uncomfortable first few weeks, or whatever other reason they are entitled to have. Then there are always the few men that are weird about sharing. . .whatever. They have they're own issues to work through. Whole other post.
Fortunatly, I have a very supportive husband who has seen first hand the power of breastfeeding. I also have a Mom that is very supportive who breastfed me until I was nearly three. My problem is the other side! I have definately felt more negativity than positivity surrounding my choice to breastfeed my toddler. I am almost sickend by the fact that I have to keep it a secret from other members of my family so they don't think I am "weird". Oh, I am weird alright, you have no idea! But, I absolutely don't think that nursing my toddler is the defining factor.
My question is who decided the appropriate cut-off time for a nursing child to be at exactly 12 months. That is insane to me! Becasue you are now 1 year old, you can no longer go to your mom for nurturing and nourishment. . . because it is coming from her breast? I have switched pediatritions 3 times since Mason has been born because of the furrowed brow looks I got from DR's after telling them I was still breastfeeding. They obviosly haven't been keeping up on their AAP(american academy of Peds) guidelines:

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that "Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child... Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother... There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer." (AAP 2005)

Thus making me question their competency as doctors. So now I have decided to try a doctor who has practiced natural medicine but now is a MD. I have done the research and found nothing but positive reasons for extended breastfeeding, so why the stigma? We are one of the only cultures to be so rigid on the topic, and we have more problems then the majority of the world. What the hell, maybe it is time for me to move to . . .ummm. . . hmmm. I am not sure but I'll give you my address when I go. If I like you that is.

I am done ranting and raving and would love to hear what you think about this whole thing.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

The One and Only MAY-ME!

Originally uploaded by glamgranola.
Mason is turning into such a big boy! His vocabulary is going through the roof. He now calls himself by name...MAY-ME. So it isn't exact, but he has definately made progress. Huge steps form POO-SEE,(god only knows what that meant!)He has been talking for a while, but he would never say his name. Now everyone I introduce to you. . .MAY-ME.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Kissing?. . . I like kissing.

You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make
sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,
it can be very satisfactory if he/she is into
you playing the dominant role MEORW!

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Ms. Stewart, but you can call me Martha!

martha 010
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.
So maybe I am a little obsessed with her! But seriously I picked all of this from MY garden for dinner tonight! Before I started chopping away I thought I should take a picture of my oh-so-perfect produce! No pesticides either Thank You very much!

Friday, September 16, 2005

The Men in My Life!

pool 008
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.
We spent our Labor Day at my aunt's pool. These are my handsome boys!

Thursday, September 15, 2005

busy, busy, busy!

We have been super busy here lately. Mike and I are in the process of buying another house! It is the house directly next door to us, and has been vacant for 5 years now. It needs some TLC, but overall it is a cute little house. Anyone care to be my neighbor? We had the ispection on Tuesday and there were no surprises so that was reassuring. The inpector also thought we got an amazing deal on the house so that was sweet. Who doesn't want a deal!

Also, we have been working away on our own house. Our third bedroom had this nasty paneling that we tried to make "work" by painting a neutral beige color. . .well we just never got used to it. We tore it down last week and have been working on texturing the virgin walls. That is the messiest job ever. . .don't do it. Pay someone else to do it. I started rolling it on with this special roller and could never manage to get more on the walls than I did on the floor so I came up with my own "technique". I covered my hand with a bag and took handfulls of this thick goo and smeared it on in circles like I was waxing a car. It has gone way quicker. The test is to see how it looks once we put the paint on.

And finally, yours truely is getting a job outside the home. I'll be teaching an after-school grant funded program in the area schools. I am feeling ready to be out for small amounts of time. I'll be teaching twice a week from 3 to 5. A total of four whopping hours . Don't Laugh! I said it small amounts! I can't disappoint my little man, he still needs me (my boobs!). What can I say, baby steps!

Thursday, September 08, 2005

A Little Ditty. . .

Otto a.k.a Ah-doe
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.
Our very loyal family dog doesn't get close to enough credit, so this entry is for him.
Mason is very into kissing lately. So, when he is not trying to pull off one of Otto's many rolls, detaching his tail, banging his toy hammer on Otto's head, or poking at Otto's butthole, he is following him around saying "mmmmmmmmm. . . " meaning he wants to kiss him. A few days ago Otto gratefully accepted and kissed Mason back, right on/in his mouth. Mason gagged for a few seconds then ran over to the human napkin and wiped his mouth on my shirt. Either my son has acquired my germ phobia or the dog needs a breathmint.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Rockstar in the Making!

Picture 038
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.
Have I mentioned that my son is really into my makeup lately! He does whatever it takes and sneaks every opportunity to get ahold of it. The other day, I took a shower and was putting on some makeup in the bathroom. The phone rang, I went to answer it, came back to the bathroom no more than 30 second later and voila! We have my son with the most creative display of black eyeliner! Fortunately I had the camera close by to capture the moment. The day with the lipstick experiment, I wasn't so lucky!

Sunday, September 04, 2005

The boy!

Picture 040
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.
Let's hear it for me! Woohoo I figured it out! So it just takes me a little longer than the average college graduate. I am getting the hang of it, now I just have to learn how to link my favorite sites/blogs. Stay tuned, Seriously!

Monday, August 29, 2005

It is time. . .

to hide a key outside! Over the past two days Mason has been locking the doors. Only once was I outside the house when it happened and Mike happened to be home inside. But now I am freaked, what if I run out to get the mail or take out the trash and the boy gets locked inside?!! I would have a heart attack and probably do something totally irrational. . .like break a window or run around the neighborhood screaming and making a huge fool of myself. So we will be debating over the next few days over where to hide the EMERGENCY key.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

It's Our Anniversary. . .

Sometimes I catch myself saying it's my anniversary. Seriously, how snotty is that! And my loving husband still got me 2 dozen roses.
We had a quiet night at home. We made steak and huge shrimp, sauteed green beans and spaghetti squash. It was awesome! The boy ate so much, it may rank in the top 5 times he ate most. We couldn't believe it, but what can I say, the boy has good taste! If you haven't even tried spaghetti squash, you should! It is so fun to eat! It is this big yellowish squash that you prepare the same way you'd eat pasta. We had it with pesto, so delish, guilt free too! Give it a shot, I bet you'll like it!
I am off to spend some quality time with the man of my dreams. . .I can be nice too.

New Camera WOO HOO!

Have I mentioned that my (ahhhemmm) very responsible husband "misplaced" our digital camera a month ago!! uggghhh I was devistated! Not only was it the camera, but the memory card. On a lighter note, we got a new camera this past weekend and I am going to learn how to use flickr, SERIOUSLY! Stay tuned, I am going to work on it tonight after the boy goes to bed, A whole other story lately. . .

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

We are family. . .

This is my second post today! Can you handle it? I have had an annoying day that is replaying like a record in my brain, so why not blog about it. . .

So everyone knows someone without a verbal filter. And everyone knows someone who likes to speak about themselves a lot. But when you put them together, it makes for a whole lotta drama! Unfortuantely in my situation this person is a relative, a very close relative, OK it is someone in my immediate family!

This morning my phone rings, it is her. She begins by asking me how my sick family is doing, but I get the feeling when I answer, she doesn't really want to know the answer. Ummm was that a rhetorical question or . . . Then it begins, all the drama, all the time! On and on she goes, but then a break and I think I may be able to get a word in and I start to say something and. . ."My stomach is getting out of control, and because it is the tannest part of my body, I feel like it is really noticable."
Are you kidding me? Was she looking for a bone, cause I am not throwing one. I am sorry, but I'd like to think my life has a little more meaning than that. Moving on. . .

Next we decided that we were going to spend the afternoon at the pool. How did I not see more drama coming? So again we talk about her and her new boyfriend and his body that apparently is a little soft. WHO CARES! But she backs it up with "but that is OK because then I don't feel the pressure to look perfect." Barf bags anyone. . . anyone? Oh but it gets better.
"Don't you feel like that? I mean, Mike has a perfect body, don't you feel like that ever?"
I smiled and shook my head no and I bit my tongue, HARD. at this point I wish I could projectile vomit and hit a target!

The joys of family and you can never get away from it. Maybe this will be out of my thoughts now since I wrote about it. . .until something new happens tomorrow.

Reality Bites!

Today my perfect little boy is 20 months. I would normally say,"God , how the time flies by!"
But over the past couple of weeks it has become very apparent that in fact he is getting very close to the infamous 2's!! The vast majority of this morning was spent listening to the little angel whine and scream uncontrollably.
One may ask,Was he tired? Nope! He spent around 11 and 1/2 hours last night and napped for 4 yesterday!
Another may ask, Was he hungry? Probably, He doesn't eat! This morning he was offered( and refused) : Oatmeal, Rice Chex, Cheerios, raisens, cheese, PB& J. Oh and the best part. . . Last night I decided to bake Chocolate Zucchini Bread. It made a huge batch so I decided to make a special treat for my son to have in the morning. I put some of the batter into a mini muffin pan. I was even excited to give him this special treat.
One would assume, He loved it right? He took a tiny bite and threw it on the floor. FABULOUS!
Not knowing what else to try, he went down for a nap. It is 11:30, and my whiny, probably starving toddler is fast asleep in his room. Ahhh, the life of an almost 2 year old!

Monday, August 15, 2005

10 Reasons For Not Blogging Last Week

10. Entire family contributing to the Puffs Plus corporation with the amount of them used by 3 runny noses.

9. Being sick myself and still having to be the caretaker for my two BOYS is exausting!

8. Baby naptime is Mommy naptime when night sleep is non-existant.

7. Meal preparation for each meal= 2 hours. Trying to find something a sick child will eat is near impossible.

6. Fingers too slippery to type from taking rectal temps of 103 with Vasoline.

5. Lack of sleep for brain to function.

4. Being more awake during the pm, worrying I overdosed my sick and very hot baby by accidentally doubling the drug dosage.

3. Did I mention I was also sick? But I was too busy taking care of everyone else to be sick.

2. Nursing constantly for a toddler's only food source = pure exaustion and soreness.

1. I was changing diarrhea diapers, give me a break!

Friday, August 05, 2005

Trailer Trash, Boobies and The Dukes of Hazard!

The week has flown by! My Mom and I have been having a Rummage Sale for the past 2 days. "Attention all trash collectors, party at my house!" God where do some of these people come from. $20 red leather cowhide belt for $1.00, "Will you take fifty cents on the red belt, I'll have to get is made smaller and have a new hole added."
1. Take your skinny ass somewhere else.
2. Don't buy it.
3. I don't care what you will have to do to make it fit.
4. I have twine you can use for a belt, FREE!!

I loved that belt, it just will never fit again-post baby. Could I be bitter?
So tomorrow Pedro and I are headed to lunch and a matinee. I think we are going to see Dukes of Hazard. I'm pretty excited, it'll be our first movie since tho boy was born 20 months ago. Yes it is time! My parents will be watching the boy while we are gone. I'll have to fill him up with boobie before we leave and he should be fine. Right?? Anyone? Reasurance needed here!
I know he'll be fine. I'll give my movie report tomorrow, stay tuned!

Thursday, July 28, 2005

You thought dust bunnies sucked. . .

Well what do you know, Tuesday night my Pedro and I got a little ambitious and decided to redo our dining room. Yes, the same dining room we redid when we moved in 14 monthes ago! I don't mean a little picture moving, I mean major paint stripper high remodeling! We went to Home Depot after dinner and bought a can of paint stripper. WE came home ripped up the carpet, but the boy to bed, and began our wild huffin' high night! We stripped the whole wood floor down to bare wood! I woke up Wednesday with the worst hang-over ever from those fumes! Wednesday night, sanded the whole floor and now we have begun putting poly on it. We are keeping it natural. So now today I picked out the new paint color for the walls and we are working on the trim tonight. Have you ever been in a house that has undergone any sanding projects? IT SUCKS! I have dusted 4 times and I forsee about a dozen more before it is gone. That shit is everywhere!! I'll have to post pictures when it is done. Oh and my other project for the week is to learn how to put pictures up by Sunday! We'll have to see how that turns out. More updates later!

Monday, July 25, 2005

Monday Bloody Monday!

Monday is off with a bang!! In the two hours since the boy woke up, he has managed to:

1. unplug and spill the oil from a wall scented plug in. The smell is making me want to puke even after bath. "matchbox cars" on the carpet with the potatoes I made him for breakfast.

3. suck Lysol out of the rag in the bucket used to clean up from 1. and 2. (hopefully calling poison control isn't the next thing added to my Monday agenda)

Oh yeah the dog barfed the contents of three meals too! It's OK though, Lysol bucket was already prepared from above activities! Ahhhhh the joys of being a stay-at-home-mom!

Friday, July 22, 2005

Schenkenberg VS. Cheesecake

Marcus Schenkenberg is hot I mean smokin' hot. Tease if you will, but I would rather eat broccoli from in between that man's teeth than dodging horse dung piles with that hillbilly Kenny Cheesecake! I mean Kenny did marry sour-splooge-face Zellwinger.
Heehaw I'm out!

(couldn't resist the 12 year old in me was dying to come out!)

The Blogging Cluster F*ck

Wow, so the more I become addicted to blogging and checking certain blogs daily, I am realizing how much drama is involved! Oh my GOD. I can't get away from it, but I love it. So now I've decided that when I move away to MY island named only with tongue clicks, I am taking a laptop too. For those of you who aren't deep into it, you should be. No cheesy "burning loins" novel could ever compare.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Drama Momma

Do you ever have days that make you want to run away? I don't mean to go buy a new pair of shoes or go to a spa, I mean run FAR away!! We'll it is one of those days. I seem to have these feelings around the same time each month. . .coincidence, hmmmmm? I wish I had the balls and bling to buy my own island in the virgin islands and no one could come or call me without a private invitation from yours truly. I would take my husband and my boy and live happily ever after without the drama of people and problems you cannot get away from. I would wear a coconut bra (made from a huge coconut), and the men on my island would wear a banana leaf. I 'd really become one with nature. I'd start my own island fashion. Crunchie Island Glam! Sign me up.
The old cliche' The Grass is Always Greener , shines so true to me but does it ever stop? When do you really feel like what you are doing and where you are is what is right for you. It seems like a big vicious circle that I want to stop. Can't life just be a triangle instead of a circle?
Well I am of to start cleaning, my MIL is coming for the afternoon tomorrow. . . it never stops.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Single Mom Exaustion!

I am pooped! So we have been crazy lately with the holidays and all. We bounced from Pedro's family's cottage to mine and then off to the airport we went to see Pedro off to Cali. Gulp, 5 days just me and the tornado! The bonus of it all was that Pedro took a friendly bump that delayed him a whoppin' 40 minutes and got a free round trip ticket out of it. Sweet!! Now maybe we can take a mini vacation! Dreams sometimes come true right? Until then I am at home slaving away in the hot kitchen! Casserole yesterday, banana bread today, pot brownies tomorrow. Just kidding, those days are long gone. I have the boy now, and by the end of the day if I can lift a glass of wine to my lips without passing out, it's a good day!
I have to say he's been really good so far. I think the trick is to keep busy and not stay kooped inside. Tomorrow we are going up to my families cottage wih my Mom so she can help a bit with the boy. The problem is, he sleeps terrible everywhere but home. It is suppose to be beautiful outside so my plans are to swim him until he's exausted and then swim him a little more until he passes out. So I am out until Saturday and hopefully I'll get back to my faithful blogging. I know I'd be better if some of my girls would comment once in a while so I don't feel like I am writing to a damn computer that can't respond!! Anyway I am going to go rest my butt on the couch and relax a bit!

Pedro~ hurry home, my loins are aching already!! (wink,wink)

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Aaaahhhh Saturday!

Today should have been a day of R and R, but it wasn't. I got a whole lot done! It started with a not so early wake-up call from the boy, 7:30 isn't too bad. But I won't mention the hour he spent awake from 12:30 to 1:30am. Damn Teeth! Anyway we went to the farmers market and got some Organic farm fresh eggs (for you to orgasm over CJ) and peas, the boy loves peas in the pod, and garlic. We got home fed the boy lunch, and put him to bed for a nap. I ran errands during nap time. But TONIGHT was very cool. . .we went to Rib Mountain which is only about 5 miles away and saw a band playing folk music at the top of the mountain. IT was called "music in the clouds" and it was beautiful. We felt guilty for not taking advantage of that beautiful place we live so close to! Anyway now we are home and the boy is asleep, it is mommy and daddy quiet time now! We are off early tomorrow morning to go and pick strawberries hopefully it isn't too hot. It has been hotter that FL temps here lately. Thank God for A/C. Peace Out!

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Baba Wawa needs to shut the h*ll up!

For those of you non TV junkies, here is a recap. . .
On The View, Barbara Walters got into the discussion of breastfeeding in public, fine.
She said a woman did it in front of her and it made her uncomfortable, still fine, everyone is entitled to their opinions. ( I have no problem whippin' it out in public, but I do almost always use a blanket unless I am with family or close friends.) But once her statement didn't go over well, she went back on the air and said she never said that and it was her flying partner that was uncomfortable! UUUUGGGHHH fortunately I saw both episodes and it really is irritating to me. So I emailed Her. . .
Dear Barbara,
I watch the show daily and have been following the whole breastfeeding controversy. I too am a breastfeeding mother but I am very aware that everyone is entitled to their own opinions. My problem is that I watched the episode where you talked about the breastfeeding mother making YOU feel uncomfortable and also the episode where you called in and said it was the person you were flying with and that it was all a misunderstanding. This is highly irritating to a faithful viewer. If you are going to express your views on sensitive and controversial topics such as this one, you need to be able to back it up and stand by what you said. It is live TV, however many people tape the show daily and are able to replay what was really said. Go ahead, speak your mind, but don't change it once it doesn't go over. You are losing credibility.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Boobie + Edamame = Pass Out

So today was my LaLeche leage meeting and Mason always has a blast. He goes wacko while we are there. We haven't been in a while because I was on strike. The last two times we went, we be faced with a sick kid a couple days later. I just don't understand how people can be so inconsiderate and bring their sick kid knowing that he is going to get other kids just as sick. . .isn't there an unwritten rule about that? You play group mommies would know that. Anyway, so I'll be crossing my fingers until Friday, I figure if there is no snotty nose in 72hrs, we are in the clear.

After my meeting I met another friend out for lunch at a sushi place. Mason LOVES edamame!! Usually they keep him busy for a while, but not today! He was terrible! He spilled my soy sauce, put his fist in my water so that overflowed, then proceeded to spray it all over my friends kids by splashing in it with his hands. . .never a dull moment! At least my friend thought it was hilarious since her kids are older and she's been through it already. They weren't angels either. Her son dumped a water glass too, right into her purse resting under the table. I am sure the resturant staff and patrons couldn't wait for us to leave!! Deal with it!

So I packed Mason up in the car for our half-hour trip home and he fell asleep in 3 minutes. It was a peaceful ride home. Now his is passed out in his crib, and I have a minute to relax. Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

Friday, June 10, 2005

All About My-Son

Mason was born 6 weeks early- scariest time in my life!! But wow things have changed. Mason is pretty much the naughtiest boy I know. Sometimes I am embarrassed to be around other kids Mason's age because of it. At LaLeche League he scares the other boys by growling in their faces and they run away crying. . .Seriously! He is always the one that moms gasp about and I look to find him standing staight up on a table. He has no fear!
He has become a huge Daddy's boy! Mason and his Dada are so bonded it's unreal. Mason still wakes up during the night for a little milky, and who does he yell for to come and get him, "Da Da! Da Da!" And Mike goes bolting up the stairs for a quick snuggle and to bring him in bed with us for milky. Yes, my 18 month old son is still a nursling. He loves to nurse and I believe that when he no longer needs it, he'll no longer want it. Let's just hope that he doesn't need it still at 5!!
Mason's favorite words are Ahhh-toe: Otto- the dog who takes way too much abuse from the monster.
dah dee: doggie- or anything we happen to see on a leash.
Poo-see: We have NO idea what this means to him?? don't laugh!
Mason's worst time of day is mealtime. He never wants breakfast, he sometimes eats lunch but usually just throws it on the floor , and dinnertime is usually the least painful because his Da da is there to help. He loves anything green! Broccoli, peas, green beans, zucchini. He always eats green first before anything else on his tray. He seems to think the word NO! is hilarious. Hmmm, I must be doing something wrong there!
For what a terror he is and how exausted I am after everyday, he is the best thing that has ever happened in my life. I wouln't change his firey personality for anything!

For you CJ thanks for the idea.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

The Draught.

I have been feeling extremely boring lately. Hence the lack of posts. Maybe it is the calm before the writing storm!! OK blah blah. Maybe I should turn it around and ask what my HUGE audience would like to hear about or questions about ME! Fire away!

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

How my Garden grows. . .

It has been a very busy past week! After completing our marathon road trip to Indiana which was relatively painless, We had a whole nother week to gear up for! Last Wednesday I had a pedicure/spa party with a few girlfriends. It was a nice girls night for me minus baby. "Pedro" took the Tornado out for a boys night of Buffalo wings and chocolate milkshakes, nice huh? I can't complain though. It was a nice 3 hour break.
The weekend was a whirl wind too! On Saturday we planted our second annual garden! We love to be able to eat things that we have grown. We keep it as natural as possible! Last year we didn't use any fertilizers or pesticides, but it wasn't Organic because the seeds weren't organic . This year we are doing the same. I've even found some organic fertilizer made by a big company but just have to figure out were to buy it! This year our big focus is our heirloom tomatoes. (if you watch Barefoot Contessa you know what they are) So enough boring info about my garden. . . I've also been really constipated lately! Ha ha just wanted to make sure to captivate my audience!
It is a beautiful day here today and the boy is down for is nap, I have all my things done for the day so I am going to lay out and take a breath or two!

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

What chu talkin' bout Willis?

Your Linguistic Profile:

85% General American English
10% Upper Midwestern
5% Midwestern
0% Dixie
0% Yankee

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

All you CJ!

Monday, May 23, 2005

Because I have too. . .

Another meme thingy...
Here we go:
1. If you could kill any celebrity by beating them with a book you own, which celebrity and book would it be?
Dr. Phil with any Dr. Sears book. . .lighten up hard ass!

2. When you have sex, is there a certain TV show you like to sync the sex up with so that as you finish, the show begins?
Nope, it's nap time after nooky!

3. Is there a blog out there that you absolutely hate but are kind of afraid to say something on your own blog for fear that they’ll read it and come to kill you?
I only know a few blogging dorks and anything is fair game!

4. Finish this sentence: If one more person asks me to pass on a meme, I’m going to…
Bore all those who read my blog. . .not that it's been exciting lately!

5. Total volume of music files on my computer?
I don't get it? We have Itunes is that a music file?

6. The last CD I bought was?
I don't even remember it's been so long, but I want to get Matisyahu the reggae hasidic jew! Seriously!!

7. Song playing right now:
music to my ears. . .SILENCE

8. Which people are you passing this baton to, and why?
Again I know very few bloggers so Stacey it's all you! The wedding is over, no excuses now!

hmmm...Nasty Thong??

Your Porn Star Name is: Nasty Thong

Get your own Porn Star Name

Thursday, May 19, 2005

On the Road Again. . .

As of tomorrow at approximately 6:30 am, we are heading on the longest road trip ever since Mason was born. We are headed to Indy( that's what the locals call it, right Stace?) We are sweating the mongo drive with a 17 month old high maintainance boy. So how did we plan for it you ask? We did the smart thing. . .we went out and bought a car DVD player! That's right, tomorrow I am encouraging my son to indulge in as many Wiggle's DVDs as we can fit in the car.

The rest of my day will be spent preparing of the weekend, bridesmaid dress and all the fixin's to make the weekend as smooth as possible. By the end of the weekend I'll be able to let everyone know which is worse, a screaming kid in the car for 8 hours or listening the the Wiggle's sing about tossing fruit salad for the 98th time. I'm out, wish me luck!

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

The Final Rose

So there is no disputing that Charlie was about the dopiest bachelor they could find. He looked twice his age. Weathered is hot, but that guy was aged! Let's hear it for Sara! That girl impressed me! One of the few girls to not give up her "flower" to get a rose. Hopefully she can take some of the cheese out of that O'Donnell boy/grandpa and teach him how to kiss!

On a snotty note, the tornado woke up on Sunday with a runny nose! So frustrating! I've been keeping him in a bubble lately to keep him healthy for a wedding we have this weekend in Indianapolis, and bam snotty nose a week before! So yesterday I spent the day making homemade chicken noodle soup and following him around with a wad of Puffs Plus! Any suggestions on how to stifle the snot in a hurry?

Saturday, May 14, 2005

The Granola in me!

I wanted to share one of my favorite things to make lately. . .Hummus! Go ahead laugh, I do shave my armpits though! Anyway it is super easy , healthy and tastes Awesome.

Glam Granola's Super Easy Hummus
1 can drained garbonzo beans/ chick peas
1 clove garlic
1 scallion (or more, I just am not an onion fan)
juice from a half of lemon
2 Tbs. olive oil
big pinch sea or kosher salt

Throw it all into food processer until it is mush. Done! Pedro and I eat it with pita chips or carrot sticks. It tastes even better the next day. Try it you'll like it!

Friday, May 13, 2005


Oh I know, I am slacking already! Give be a break I had the busiest day I can remember and it started with "the tornado" up and doing damage at 5 am ! uuugghh! 7 am great, 6 am can deal with, but 5 is painfully early. We both got ready for the day and had to leave by 830 to make it to my much needed haircut. I missed Starting Over so any realty queens fill free to fill me in. I still have yet to find another person who watches it. . . I know it is a really sappy reality show with a whole lot of bitchy women backstabbing, crying and visiting the Starting Over shrink Dr. Stan. AKA the Micheal Jackson trial shrink, seriously!
I digress. So I got home around 11 and immediatly put the boy away for nap time. No breaks here though. I worked today!! My friend Trayce owns a maternity boutique and brings for boy to work with her daily and asked me to fill in . It felt awesome! I was there for two quiet hours by myself and then my husband (aka Pedro) brought the boy in to "work" with me until 5. He was better at the store than he is at home. . .is it a sign? I think it's a sign he likes new toys!!
So now I am pooped and ready for bed. Let's cross our fingers for a late morning. Oh my god I am delirious now! I 'm out- I'll have more energy tomorrow.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Do I Look 17. . .

Today needed to be a productive day, and it was! I had a hundred things to get done all during my peaceful time of day. . .nap time! I began my list: call March of Dimes, unload dishwasher, call to switch phone service, blah, blah, blah. During my 35 minute hot and heavy call with the phone service guy, there is a loud disruption, the doorbell. uuugghhh Now I have to cross my fingers that it didn't wake 'the tornado' and go to the door.
me: "uuuhhh hi?"
man in green: "uuhh hi. . .is your Mom or Dad available?"
me: no words, long pause,dumb look
man in green: "Oh, are you the homeowner?"
me: "yes, and my HUSBAND likes to fertilize the lawn himself!"
man in green: "oh, he does ! OK Thanks!"

Are you kidding me?? He obviously didn't see the breastmilk stains on my t-shirt or my sweet smell of Lysol that has replaced my favorite perfume! I was so shocked that I even told the phone guy who laughed hysterically. Hmmmm is this a compliment or an insult? Was it because my sweatpants and t-shirt didn't fit into his mold of a typical stay-at-home-mom. (Turn off Desperate Housewives Bud, it is a show not reality. )Or was it because my youthful face and bubbling personality reminded him of the girl next door? (uuummm probably not.)

So the boy didn't wake up and the rest of my list got finished.

Tomorrow I think I might put on some makeup and do my hair!

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

I lost my blogging virginity

So this is my very first posting. . . woohoo! Be patient with me, I am learning as I go. So since becoming a blog reading junky, I figured I should do my part. I find myself checking multiple times daily for new postings. I am not sure if that means I have an extremly boring life or that I find facination in strange things. I have a feeling it has something to do with my "reality" TV fetish. That's right I have no shame, I love'em all . . .Starting Over, The Amazing Race, Survivor, Surreal Life and we can't forget the grandfather of all reality TV, The Real World. It all boils down to trying to get a glimps into the life of others I think. So I am doing my part on a smaller scale. This is my dirty laundry! Enjoy !