Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Sex and the Pregnant Woman

Look out! It's gettin' hot up in here. Virgin Eyes, look away!

When I was pregnant with Mason, about 3 years ago, one of the most memorable parts of pregnancy where the dreams I had at the beginning. My God where those things vivid. I thought I was a freak having these pornographic dreams that sometimes left me...well, lets just say refreshed! The first couple I was too embarrassed to tell Pedro about, then, I almost felt I had to. As if I was being unfaithful or something. They were crazy HOT! I do remember though, never being able to see a face. And maybe that was my mind's little sensor to not make me feel so damn guilty.

Well, I should have known something was up when I started having them again a couple of months ago. I woke up and immediately told Pedro all about it. I had to, it was clearly his face. Then a few days later, two pink lines were clearly apparent.

So now, it is kind of bittersweet that my first trimester is nearly over. But, on the bright side I seem to remember that the second trimester doesn't consist of dreams but "lots of reality." Hellooooo week 13!

Friday, February 24, 2006

Wanna hear more about THE CAR!- oh hell no!

I am done talking about that damn thing. It is stupid, and I'll never think he made the right choice. It was wrong, very, very wrong! And, moving on...
I had my first prenatal appointment today. It wasn't with my midwife, but with a nurse educator who gets my chart ready. I have gained 10 lbs already. Very scary to see that number already. With Mason, I didn't gain a pound until I was 5 months preggo, but I couldn't keep down water either. I guess there are a very few positives to severe morning sickness. Let's just pretend that that number with surely taper off, shhhh, we're pretending remember?

After meeting with the nurse, I had to do the whole gammet of lab work. That meant 5 viles of blood and one warm cup-o-pee. The phloebotomist was sweet, but God help her! It is time for her to retire. She began just fine until my vein collapsed and she was determined to get the other 3 viles still from a vein that was not cooperating. After she rooted around for about a minute and pushed so hard the needle poked out the backside of my elbow*, I finally looked at her and said, "Um, ouuch!" She apologized over and over and told me we'd have to move over to the other arm, "Whhheeeee, can we?!" * So the other arm turned out to be a champ and I was on my way.

My next appointment is on the 7th. That's when I meet my mid-wife, cannot wait. I also told them that I was really unsure about my period days, so I am probably getting an extra ultra-sound to confirm dates. Fine with me, who says a little fibbing doesn't get you far?

After that we headed to Target. I've been looking for a cute maternity swim-suit but now as convinced they don't exist. I can just wear the one I have and look fat instead of pregnant. Yes! Fat is totally the new skinny, didn't you know?

**only slight exagerations

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Hello beach, How I have missed you so!

First let me just get off my chest that I didn't post yesterday because I was way too busy having a nervous breakdown. What you might ask would trigger such a horrible thing? How about when your husband goes out of town for business and comes back with a new car. Yes, I know he is the King of impulsivity and it makes me crazy. Impulse for me, buying a $100 pair of shoes and knowing I shouldn't have spent money so foolishly, him, coming home with a new Saab when we'll be having a new baby in 6 months. I need to stop talking about it before I send myself into a new fit of rage..."In sickness and (mental)health..." Damn vows.

On the lighter side, we did it! Booked and paid for, our trip! We leave March 17 and are going to Riviera Maya Mexico for a 7 day all-inclusive. Should we be spending money on a vacation like this? Probably not, but we figured it'll be years before we can possibly do it again. So Hooray! We are staying at the Iberostar Quetzal, the same place we honeymooned 4 years ago. It is so beautiful there I cannot wait to go back,with my little Mason in tote. I feel really good about taking him somewhere really special before the new baby comes. So there you have it! The extreme highs and lows of a hormonal pregnant woman. Enjoy!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The History of My Boobs.

Because you want to know and I love to talk about my boobs, here goes.
Before I ever got pregnant, I knew I would breastfeed my babies. It just seemed like that was what they were meant to do. I come from a family of breastfeeders; My Mom nursed me until I was 2 and a half, and was proud of the fact.
So I became pregnant, knew I was going to nurse, for a year. The next thing I knew, Mason was here 6 weeks early, and could not eat. Out the window went my dreams of having my brand new baby laid on my chest and breastfeeding immediately. I asked my nurse for a breastpump the minute I was taken to my hospital room from high-risk delivery. She replied, "Wait until morning." Now that I know better, I wish I wold have insisted, because I waited the extra 12 hours my milk took 4 days to come in. All this time, Mason was in the NICU where he remained until he was two weeks-old being tube-fed my breastmilk that I pumped every 2-3 hours. Once Mason was a little more stable, they let me try nursing him, but told me that 9 out of 10 babies learned to eat faster on a bottle. They told me the day he took a bottle, he was ready to go home. I was so confused! One nurse assured me, "If you really want to breastfeed him, it'll happen."

So, I took my bottle-fed baby home and decided I was going to do things my way. I began every feeding at the boob, and my husband would finish with a bottle of pumped milk. Once he began latching on, I took out one bottle each day. In less then two weeks time, he was exclusively on the boob. I had worked so hard for the breastfeeding to happen that I didn't want anything to ruin it. I didn't try to give him a bottle for 6 weeks, and by then it was too late, he would refuse and scream. But again I didn't care, I really wanted this. The weeks passed and my 5 lb 12 once boy turned into a chunk. I LOVED the fact that I was giving my boy everything he needed to live and not having to depend on anything else. I even has a pediatrician comment that he "couldn't believe that I didn't suppliment" (with formula) my 19.5 pound 7 month-old. Mason was fat and healthy, all because of me!

A year came and went and nursing was better than ever, we were a true team. I (my boobs) could put him to sleep, fix a boo-boo, or just refuel his emotional tank when he was over-stimulated. It was the easiest fix, why would I want to give it up. I couldn't help but get teary when we'd have our little time together in our special chair and Mason would look up at me, boob in mouth and give me the sweetest smile, as if to say, "mmmmmm...thanks Mom." Those moments were and are so powerful, They'll be with me forever.

So here we are today, Mason is 26 months and still nursing twice a day, before nap and bed. I am pretty sure he doesn't get much milk, but he still absolutely needs the "close time." I am not ready to take it away from him. I still believe that he'll stop when he is ready and doesn't need to nurse any more. Until then, my boobs will be ready. Even crazier, I have been concidering the thought of tandum nursing, if I need too, something I never concidered even a year ago. A lot changes when you have someone you'd do anything for counting on you!

Monday, February 20, 2006

My sabbatical.

Hi all, I am back! I have been at a loss for words lately...Very unlike me. I had a busy/ boring weekend. Pedro had a friend come down from Minneapolis to work on our "flipper". It is getting close to being complete. The kitchen is the last project and that is what their working on. I promise to post the before/ after pictures when it is complete. So, my job in all of this was to do all the cooking and picking up. Ugh!

We are booking a vacation this week. Our deadline is tomorrow! We keep putting it off, but we need to do it for our sanity. I'll be sure to let you know where we decided to go as soon as we book it. I jumped the gun a little and bought these for the trip. I figured Mason would be it a suit more than a diaper so I splurged and got both of them. Adorable, no?

And last, I am jumping on the MamaC-ta bandwagon and I am taking requests for topics. Anything, and everything. I am not shy, try me. Is there anything you want to know about me/ my life. Just let me know and I'll post about it. Come one come all, I'm ready!

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

My Belly. It's a growin!

No, I am not showing at all yet, but my pants, they don't fit! So I have found these things that look amazing! In the early stages of pregnancy, you wear it folded over the top of your jeans and you can leave your uncomfortable jeans/pants unbuttoned. Later, when you have a big 'ol belly, you wear it all pulled up for belly support and to cover the lower stretch mark scared part of your belly. Not that I know anything about stretchmarks, my stomach is ,ahem, like butta'. Then the coolest part, you can wear it after delivery while nursing to cover up the post-partum pooch! I think I am sold. I may have to splurge and buy a couple today! Now the next question, what colors to get? Do I stick to basic black and white that'll go with everthing, or, do I get all fun and festive?

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

It's Heart Day Everyone!

OK, I'm back and feeling better today. I woke up today, got into the shower and noticed both eyebrows were totally sore. Yah, I did the ugly cry way too much yesterday. But I am done now, and I am moving on...but first I have to tell you what Mason did during my second sob fest. SO I am sitting on the couch sobbing and He crawls up onto my lap and says "hiiiii Maaamaaa!" over and over while looking at me. Then he proceeds to touch the tears that are rolling down my cheeks and says, "Uh oh cheek!" I think I'll keep him. It is the little things like that, that just make everything seem Ok.

So today was the LaLeche League meeting I go to once a month. I love going! It is one of the few places I can go and talk to a bunch of Moms that parent the same way I do. OK, so it is like a support group for me and all my issues, whatever, I still love it. I drive the 40 minute drive and sit and wait, no one is coming. It was moved a week early, but I didn't know since I had missed last months meeting. I finally packed up my boy and made the 40 minute trek back home. It was OK though, it got me out of the house.

I got my gift from Pedro and it was perfect! It was one of those small gifts that mean so much because you can tell how much thought went into it. I got a sweet card, not sappy though because clearly I've cried enough lately. Mason got me a manicure and pedicure gift certificate, AWESOME! And my favorite lover got me two Sex in the City special edition DVDs. Tonight we are going out to dinner, the three of us. These two men in my life are the best things that have ever happened to me and I can't imagine spending Valentine's day with anyone else.
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I Love You Both!

Monday, February 13, 2006

How I hate to be Debby Downer but...

This pregnancy is starting to destroy me. I am not very nauseous, boobies still don't hurt, but my God am I exhausted. Over the past 7 days, I have taken a nap 6 of those and still cannot wait to get into bed for the night by 9. Now I know that is very common to be worn out at the beginning and end of pregnancy, but I feel like it is so unfair to my full-energy toddler. Yesterday and today it hit me like a ton of bricks..."How in the hell am I going to be able to do this?"
A few weeks ago I started to think Mason's outburst were lessoning, how wrong I was. We are back to square-one and back to head-butting the tile kitchen floor. I used to think I was a pretty patient Mom, but lately I feel like nothing more than a failure in that department. I am yelling way more than I know I should, and I can't help but blame myself for my 2-year-old son mirroring my childish actions.
I am not writing this to get all kinds of feedback on what a great mom I seem like. I don't want that. I am writing to get the way I am feeling off my chest.
I know my hormones are raging. I know I am exhausted. I know Mason is at a rough age. But still it doesn't help my to feel like any less of a failure right now! So now I am going to take my crying induced, puffy face self down to bed for a much needed nap.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

A few things...

First of all, last night Pedro and I when to our first p.o.e.t.s club. No, we aren't much into poetry. This stands for: piss on everything tomorrow's Saturday. It is a club of late 20-30 somethings, almost all with kids, that have realized they do almost nothing outside of the home. So, for one Friday night per month we socialize, like with real adults! It was really fun to just get out and wear real clothes. It was a short outing from about 7-9 then we had to pick up our boy at my parents. Good times were had by all!

Second, my first Dr. appointment is coming up. This here state of WI does this whole thing kind of strange. In FL where Mason was conceived, they saw me at 6 weeks to determine if there was a heartbeat. Now, here they wait until you are 12 weeks pregnant to even see you. Yes, I understand the part of your body determining what will happen in the first 12 weeks, but I also read different info too. I read, that if a heartbeat is detected between 7-11weeks, the baby has a 90% chance of success. But, since I an in WI I guess I just have to deal with the way things are done. But my point is, I am not seeing a DR. I got in with the only midwife in the city. I feel like it is the way for me to go and I can't wait to meet her.

And last, my blog should have a new look soon. Pedro works in Advertising and has a lot of "computer friendly" friends. One of which is working on a blog design for me! I can't wait! So look for new changes hopefully in the next week or two. Until then, you'll just have to be patient.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Another Controversial Post from Yours Truly!

Does everyone have their hard hat on? Good. Then let's begin. I know I have briefly commented before that I am not very religious. I truly hope to be someday, but for right now, my faith, it isn't very strong. I have great admiration for people who know what they believe and follow it with devotion but I am not there yet. I could go into why I think I am not religious, but that would take days and then you would get very, very bored. So, here is the micro-version. I come from a very religious family also one of the most disfunctional families I know. I think I have some bitter feelings about the hypocritical ways of my family. Being a perfect citizen while at church, yet at home finding it OK to drink yourself crazy and be the most hurtful, toxic person one could ever want to be around. I never want to be like that, EVER! These are my issues and what I have found through my own self-diagnosis (I know, I know it's worth a grain of salt.)
Until I find the faith, I try to be a good person in other ways. I try to not judge others. I try to help those who need help, even if it is a simple as giving someone less fortunate a shopping cart that I paid .25 for. I think it feels great to make someone I don't know smile. You know, the good old fashioned "Golden Rule". That is what I believe in.
With that being said, a few days ago I got a phone call it was a man calling from a church.
He started by asking, "Can I ask for your opinion?"
"Well, since Jesus stepped foot..."
And on and on and on he went. I could tell it was going to be a long time before it was time for my opinion. When I could finally interject I told him I really was not interested in taking part.
First of all, I felt misled. I felt offended. And I felt like I was being preached at! I thought this guy wanted my opinion! He just preached to me. I don't understand how soliciting phone calls makes people believe they are more devout. At what point does recruiting for a church (which was this mans ultimate reason for calling)become soliciting? I just don't get it!
So lets turn the tables now, shall we? Lets just say I was Jewish or Buddhist and I called this man to tell him about the way I think the world came about. Referring to my "god". I guess I'll never know, but I can only assume that I would not be very well received. So why is that? What happened to the rule that we all should live by, The Golden Rule: treat others as you want to be treated. Wouldn't that be amazing if the world operated that way?

My Son. He is a boob man at heart!

Yesterday morning I was sitting in the living room and in comes Mason carrying one of my very used, very unattractive, very big nursing bras. I gave him a look of shock and all he could say was,
"Mamas Milky!"
In that second I was so happy that I was alone at my house. I am not ashamed of still nursing him. It is the size of that atrocious thing that is so breathtaking!

Sunday, February 05, 2006

The dirty, dirty details!

It has been confirmed that I need to be about 4 feet from Pedro when he sneezes and I become pregnant! Seriously, sometimes I wonder how things happen. But, what a gift huh?
I know I am speaking early, but this pregnancy has been amazing. With Mason, I was a slave to the white thrown from 6 weeks until about 4.5 months. I was miserable. Every morning it was a routine. Mike would wake-up for work, go and get me my sea-bands. I'd wait until my stomach felt somewhat sturdy then try to stand up. It always resulted in me kneeling on the bathroom floor with Pedro holding my hair back. The nice thing was that I didn't gain a pound until I was 5 months along! Don't worry though, I caught up with the weight thing. I also spotted throughout. Scary, but I guess pretty common.
Well, this time everything is so different it is hard to believe I am really preggo! I never got the sore boobies, haven't felt the least bit nauseous, and I have a ton of energy. I think I have taken one nap since I have found out. And I am 2/3rds through the first trimester, SWEET! I'll take it! It was obviously supposed to happen ! Everything happens for a reason, right?

Thursday, February 02, 2006

The exciting post that I promised!

It all started around the 3rd of January, after the busy holidays. My friend Jill called and said, "I am calling you because I haven't talked to you in over a week, and I feel like you are pregnant!" I nearly choked on my own saliva. "You are definately on CRACK! I am not pregnant." The weeks came and went, and I blogged a whole bunch about how I am terrified of having more babies. For those of you who don't know, I had a rough pregnancy. I had 4 ultrasounds by the time I was 5 months pregnant. It was rough!
Well, sometime last week I noticed that my period still hadn't shown up. I mentioned it to Pedro who was ecstatic. "Go get a pregnancy test, I want to know!"
To which I replied, "No, I'll wait until mid-week, I am sure it'll be here then."
Since I am still nursing, My period is always a little late and I know it always shows up. I started doing the math, and I was really late, like REALLY late, like 15 days late.

Oh My God!

I went and got a test, peed a little on a stick and a little on my hand. Before I could put it down...BAM 2 pink lines.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am officially carrying my second baby! I went to the Dr. yesterday for a blood test and yup, sure thing, as preggo as a girl can be at 8 weeks.

I am scared to death, a lot shocked, and very excited all at once. I am still nursing my boy and plan to until he hopefully weans sometime before baby 2 arrives. So that is the scoop. Again, sorry about the lame posts since last week. It was hard to write about anything without "spilling the beans". Keep your fingers crossed that this pregnancy is smoother than the last.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Skiing 101

Where to start? A few days ago, Pedro, my very persistent other half began telling me to take my skis in to have a tune-up. (For those of you who didn't know, I have recently decided that I am retiring my snowboard and returning to skiing, a lesser threat of dying!)And, because I didn't want to use my skis from 7th grade, no seriously, 7th grade! I decided to borrow my mother in laws. Her skis are much newer however she hasn't "hit the slopes" since 2000. So in hind sight the skis really probably did need a tune-up. Well, cheapass me didn't want to pay the $25 dollars to go skiing one time, so I didn't have a tune-up.

Fast forward to last night. We got to the hill, bought the tickets and we were standing right by the chair lift. I laid my skis down, put my toe in first stepped down and the back of my binding when flying off... the skis were broken and I ended up renting to the "tune" of $31.00. God, I hate when he is right!
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After all that, we had a great time. We started with the easier hills and worked up to a few of the more difficult. I looked very burnt marshmallow-ish in my ginormous puffy coat. But, some would say, "skiing is not about looking good, it is about skiing good." To those people I say, "psha."
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Some of the highlights of the evening:
1. Getting into my snowboarding pants from 5 years ago. They were a bit tighter than they used to be, but they were zipped and buttoned none the less.
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2. Hanging out with other "crazy" parents that never leave their kids either. "Birds of a feather flock together." "It takes a crazy to know a crazy."
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3. Making out on the chair lift, duh!
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