Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Judge Judy

We all know that this parenting thing comes with a whole lot of judgement, yes?

"Oh, you bottle feed."
"You breastfed your son for threeeee years?"

"Your daughter sleeps in a cage, I mean crib?"
"You sleep with your kids? How do you get any sleep?"

-you want more?

"Crying it out is just cruel."
"If you would've just let him cry a few night, he would be sleeping through the night!"

"I won't let someone else raise my child."
"What do you do all day staying home?"

Good God people are harsh! We 've all felt the judgement and probably dealt it too. After having two kids and being pretty confident in the way I parent, I still feel it. I have to say I have recently figured out that the area I've felt the most judgement. POTTY TRAINING! It has been a struggle and I let myself feel the pressure.

We started working with Mason when he was two and a half. We had some success, then Mason decided he'd start holding his poop until it made him sick. We stopped all together. He'd let us know when he was ready. He didn't.

About a month ago, I had enough. He was old enough. He knew better. And this shit was getting gross! We did the cold turkey method that works for "everyone". We just put him in undies. He wasn't having any accidents. He wasn't pooping either. After four days he was in pain again. This time was worse though. Now had held it so long and was in so much pain that he wouldn't even go in a diaper. It was time for a suppository.

"Great! Now I get to traumatize my son by putting something up his butt that makes him poop Jeff Daniels style a la Dumb and Dumber. "

The poor kid was so relieved after the fact he was nearly thankful. And I had my old Mason back within 10 minutes.

"All my kids were potty trained by 2!"
La-ti- fricken-dah! I bet non of your kids were half as cute as my kid. So there!

I just wanted my happy little boy back. I started doing a ton of research and gave it all the finger. We are doing things our own way now. We are doing what works for us. Guess what, it's working! Mason wears undies all the time. He hasn't had an accident in weeks. When he notices the urge to poop, he asks for a diaper. When he is done, he wants his undies back on. He isn't holding his stomach in pain anymore. He isn't crying or throwing fits over sitting on the potty and "trying". He tells everyone that comes to our house that he is a "big boy now" and shows them his undies. He is truly proud.

Of course I wish he could've been one of those kids that was potty trained in two days, but he's not. It may take another month or more but we're on our way. And guess what? We are all the least stressed we've been throughout this journey and I think that is why it's working. Hopefully one day he'll just run over to the toilet like he does to pee 15 times a day to poop. Until then, we are letting Mason run the show, and that he is, helmet and all.

Alternate Title: ''Shit Happens!"


That Chick Over There said...

I firmly believe that no matter what you do, someone is going to say something rude about it.

Good for you for doing what's right for YOUR child.

tri_hard said...

You are one of the most confident people that I know. Don't let anyone else tell you how to do what you do best...and that is to be a wonderful Mom! Do what is best for your know them best!

Chrissy121875 said...

Good for you guys! :) Whatever works best for you and your family is the best thing you can do!

My mom followed Dr.Spock with me since I was the first of three kids. That was some crazy stuff! The book said to let the baby cry and that's what my mom did! My grandmother tells me that I used to cry until I was almost purple in the face, sweating and just exhausted that I'd pass out. I don't think my husband and I would ever be able to do that when we have kiddos.

Again, whatever works best for you guys...I agree with the all of the people who have left you comments. You know your kids best :) You're doing a great job.

PS. I know not being able to poop is not fun, but you made me laugh at the Jeff Daniels' Dumb and Dumber poopy thing! LOL!

Stephanette said...

I'm almost overwhelmed at the thought of starting a family after watching my siblings (all great people - who went first)having their children and picking apart each other's parenting styles. I do know that I won't do it exactly how any of them have done it....but then I don't have the kids yet, either.

I'm just gonna say...I'll have to eat a lotta crow! AnnieM - you're awesome for making it through this experience! What a Mom! :D

Rachel said...

No matter how you raise your kids, someone will have something negative to say about it.

I think it's a good idea letting Mason take the reins on this. All kids are different and all kids learn and do things at different rates. He knows to go in the big potty, but, think about it, that thing can be pretty intimidating for a little kid (ahem, big-boy).

You're doing what works for you and that's how it should be!

Christy J said...

Let me laugh... because as I was reading this Fin was pitching a fit that she wanted her panties on, not a diaper.

The entire potty training thing is a hard one. I think you have to do what works for your family. Not everyone is going to like it, ever. As long as you are ok with it... you can give everyone else the finger.

My niece use to be like that about pooping. Eventually he will get over it. They always do!

I'm going to e-mail you now! :o) Muaahh!!!

Stacey said...

Yeah, I had some definite "beliefs" of how I would do this or that but once little Miss Sydney was here it was a whole other ballgame. You learn quickly that you do what works for YOU...not your friends, relatives or even doctors. Your child is not like any other and shouldn't be expected to fit a certain mold. Annie, my friend's 4 year old will not go poop on the potty either--lots of crying and pain, and he just are NOT alone.

Silly Hily said...

"La-ti- fricken-dah! I bet non of your kids were half as cute as my kid. So there!"
That was awesome.
You know what I went through with Mia. The same thing. It was horrible. I was somewhat ready for everything else but NOT potty training and the hell that it was. You are so right. Do it on his time and your time and stay relaxed and it will eventually happen. He is well on his way. Yay Mason!

Bethany said...

My very cute daughter is four years old. She has been fully potty trained for, oh about four months. Eventually they get it.

and rudeness said...

Great post... and I totally agree to when it comes to potty training... Let them lead.

My daughter will be 3 in August and I cant even get her to look at a toilet... Guess shes not ready. And when she is... THE WORLD WILL KNOW!

Not everything works out the way the books say or the doctors prescribe. Imagine that?! :)

somebody said...