Dear Pumpkin Smasher,
I hope you got off smashing our neighborhood pumpkins. I hope you pulled a muscle in your back in the process of breaking our 40 lb. pumpkin. I hope you are embarrassed when you can't "perform" with your pubesent nasty little girlfriend. I hope she tells your whole class about you. Waahhh! Karma is a bitch. Best Wishes and Happy Halloween!