Thursday, August 17, 2006

If only there was a get-away car.

Part 1
Today was one of those days. Ugh. The day started out before Pedro left for work, Thank God. I am all about letting the child lead as far as potty training, but this boy of mine needs to be TRAINED. His new thing, each morning is,
"Here comes big poop!"
Then I chime in as quickly as a I can,
"Ok Quick, lets go on Dada's potty!"
"No Thanks."
"Mason, if you go poop on the potty, we'll go to the store and you can get a new truck, or motorcycle..."
"Or train..." Pedro chimes in.
But no, the boy proceeds to poop himself and asks to be changed immediately following.
Now, multiply that times 6. Oh no, I am not exaggerating. We had 6 poopie diapers today. Pedro only was home for one of them.

Part 2

Next, have I mentioned my sons obsession with the poor dogs penis? It is absolutely an obsession that I am almost too embarrassed to talk about. If the dog is resting peacefully, Mason is strategizing his way to get to Otto's dog-hood. The problem is the dog is so passive, he practically opens his legs up for Mason. It is all very sick and wrong, I know. The problem is I don't see it every time. When I do, I stop it immediately. Today he did it once, I threatened a time out. Second time, he got a time out. Yet the problem got worse. I was removing him from his timeout spot, explaining that we never touch Otto's peepee because it hurts him. Just then the dog walks over to us during our little heart to heart and Mason reaches underneath Otto looking for his penis and pets it ever so gently, "Nice Otto's Peepee."
God help me, my point is not getting across. Then he asks "I kiss Otto's Peepee?"
"Ah, No (in a horrified half yell)! We don't ever touch his Peepee."
I wish I were exaggerating, God, I wish I were making this up, but I am not. Just tell me my son is starting to be very in tune with his penis (and the dogs) because he is starting to potty train. That would make me feel so much better.

Part 3
Then there was the hitting, the constant yelling, "Mama go way!" and the never ending meltdowns. I can assure you one thing. Had a not been pregnant, I'd be drunk as hell right now. It was a day that bad!


Ms. Mamma said...

Okay, it's 1:18 a.m I'm coming over to get you. Ha Ha. I feel your pain. I want to be there when you crack that bottle of wine, sister. It's not too long from now... I think I'll have a Honey Weiss just for the two of us RIGHT NOW.

Christy J said...

OMG. I'm sorry. I have MAAAAAAAAAANY days like this too. That's why I LIKE WINE!!!! HAHAHHA!!!!
The potty training thing.... ours wasn't exactly 'child led'. I just told Hayden that diapers were for babies and big boys wear cool underwear. And then I explained that he was a 'big boy' now. So he gets to pick out and wear his own underwear, but he can't pee pee in them. Then I just never put him in a pull up or anything. Underwear all the time. It took about 3 days to get it down, but it worked. But it was seriously cold turkey and all the way.
Otto. Poor Otto... I have NO IDEA what to say about that one. Goodness. We have our own set of issues, and they are different each day. Lately Hayden likes to snatch thinks from his sister, hide them, then when you make him give them back, he spits in your face. It is rediculous.

AnnieM said...

Ok you two...notice, we all have boys the same age. It's a phase right? That's my story and I'm stickin' to it! Now Heidi, go get some sleep already!

Christy J said...

I just got another idea on the potty training. It may work. Why don't you let him sit in hit for a few minutes. And explain to him that if he didn't poop in his pants, he'd be clean. Maybe the yuckiness will bug him. Don't freak, I mean like 5-10 minutes, not 45. Just enough for him to understand how gross it is?

Silly Hily said...

Girl, I'm so sorry! I'm sure everything is multiplied right now too b/c you simply CAN'T have that drink, that one (or five) drink that would make everything better.
You know I have no advice on the potty thing as I'm going through hell with Silly Girl right now. It seems I've tried everything with her and it just won't snap.
I'm sure the dog thing is just his curiousity b/c let's face it, it is weird. I HATE boy dogs (sorry Otto, don't take it personally, I'm sure you are a very sweet dog) and will never, ever, ever have one.
Sorry I can't be much help. Just breathe and pray that tomorrow is better.

Mama C-ta said...

Oh man, Cricket is into the dog weiners too. Right now just the hitting and pulling. Please don't let it go further than that!

somebody said...