Monday, April 23, 2007

Duh...Who hasn't tasted armpit?

I have been stuck at this 18.6 lb. weight loss for almost a month now and I want to get to an even 20 damnit! So this week it is going to happen ( as I eat wheat thins while typing). I feel good though. I have energy and regularity and all those fantastic things that come with being healthy.

This weekend I was thinking about food and all the things that I really love. The problem is that I love a whole bunch of foods. Really there are very few things I won't eat. I once thought I'd be adventurous and try some new sushi. I tried Makerel, with it's reflective skin and all. It was pretty strong; I ate it, but I won't order it again. Another time Pedro and I were at a sushi place that we were regulars at and the sushi guy thought I should try salmon roe. I was sure I'd like it, I love salmon sushi and I love flying fish eggs so how could I go wrong? Uh, how could it go right? It was similar to licking the slime off the bottom of a fishing boat that hadn't been washed down in a good 3 years. Another one I won't order again. But hit me with another kind. I'll try it and I'll probably like it!

Back to this weekend though. So when I was thinking about common foods that I really dislike, I came up with two, raw onion and mango. Then I started thinking deeper into what I really dislike about them.

First, mangos. I love the color, the texture is fine, the smell is fine, but the taste. Ick! They taste like armpit! The musty sharp funk is what I can't get over. I've thought it through thoroughly too and it isn't that the one I tried was not ripe, I've tried probably a hundred and they all taste like armpit.

Raw onion is just too strong, and you know what else? They smell like an armpit of an Olympic wrestler. Is is the sharp funky smell that hits me first and them the taste is the second round. I could probably get over it if the sharp taste just lasted during the bite, but it lasts for hours. Great, now my mouth smells like an armpit too!

So there you have it. I like all foods that don't remind me of an armpit. It's deep isn't it. Very, very deep.

**and next week a review of all cheese that smells like toe grime. The stinkier, the tastier. Mmmmmmmm.....


Ms. Mamma said...

Goodness gracious! Let me get you a case of Glade, preferably the collectible cans with the employee's penis Photoshopped into the flores!

I LOVE onions raw. Pico de gallo, bring it on. But it does have the armpit flair. Being a vegetarian that is the big gross out for me... when I eat onion I can almost immediately smell them coming out of my skin. Gross.

WHat about Fajita Head? That's pretty rank, too.

Very funny, Crunchstress!

Christy J said...

Thats halarious. I think White wine tastes like armpit. Weird huh?

And Mango is the nastiest thing ever. It tastes like a flowery tasting rotten cantaloupe. Go Figure!!!

AnnieM said...

Heidi- I doen't mind them at all cooked or in things like pico. It is biting into a big ring of raw onion that throws me.

Christy- Really? White wine? Mango does have a flowerey essence. So think of it as an armpit wearing Secret!

That Chick Over There said...

Well. That post helped MY diet. So thanks! :)

Chrissy121875 said...

LOL! FAVE thing to drink is mango juice!!! LOL! So, now I'm thinkin' that might totally disgust you...lest it remind you of armpit juice!!! LOL! ;)

AnnieM said...

chick- unfortunately the two things I dislike are very low point wise. Why couldn't it be something like cheese or chocolate that disgusts me?

Chrissy- I wish I could like them, I just can't and I still try all the time. So you drink up...for me.

Hil said...

I hate mushrooms. My husband swore to me they were good. "Just like a steak. You can cook a mushroom the same way you cook a steak." Um, yeah, not so much tasting like steak. I spit it out. It was so gross!

AnnieM said...

Hil- I lurve mushrooms, but Pedro, not so much. He tries to like them, but he can't. He says they taste like fungus, Eureka! Mason hates them too, and that's crazy from a boy who loves to snack on a combo of pears and stinky cheese(aka bleu cheese) with his Mama.

Chrissy121875 said...

I don't know if you've ever tried nato. It's fermented Japanese soy beans. It smells like stinky feet. When I was teaching overseas, I was asked to try it. I completely gagged and was not pretty and forget trying to regain composure and poise! was my boss who asked me to try it! Over there, it is considered an insult to not try the food! LOL! Blechhhhh.

Pedro said...

Wow fermented soy beans! That just sounds bad, if put in that position I will voluntarily offend rather than puke in front of the boss-man.

Chrissy121875 said...'s pretty bad. The Japanese even crack a raw egg on top of the fermented soy beans and it's all goopy and slimy. I suppose it's an acquired taste. For this girl, it just makes me wanna yack :( LOL! No offense to any nato lovers out there! ;)

somebody said...