Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Chucky my boy. . .

xmas 2005 002xmas 2005 001

I have to say, and this may not be pretty, I have begun to get nervous about my darling boys behavior. He is turning into a bully. And, GOD, no one wants a bully for a kid. This weekend Mason saw his cousin (we'll call him BIG) who is 9 months younger but the same size and beat up on him the whole time. Mason would push him down, slap him with both hands and even put him in a head lock and proceeded to drag him on the wood floor. AWESOME! I can't even count how many timeouts he had. He even got to the point of smacking BIG then putting himself into timeout. Well that is just great. I am firm believer in the philosophy of "not apologizing for your kid/s" I think it sends the wrong message. But, I can't help but worry that this is a reflection of parenting style. What is a lady to do? I don't want to beat the boy(OK,well maybe I do sometimes, BUT I DON'T!) Timeouts are being proved un-effective, and we are very consistent with the way we do them.

*We put him in and a non-distracting place, where he stays for the entire 2 minutes without restraint.

*Once the 2 minutes is up, we go to him, get down to his level, explain what the "no no" was.

*We have him say sorry to whomever he hurt.

*Then give him and hug/kiss and tell him "all done, go play." and we drop it.

So what the hell are we doing wrong? Then, last night we went out to eat at Perkins. When we got there we found out it was kids night. They had movies playing and activities for the kids. Mason wanted to go over there so after he was done eating, Mike took him. And then he came back without the boy. "there is a lady over there who watches them, so she told me I could leave and she'd watch him." We were both skeptical and we didn't think Mason would last long. . .He didn't. Within 5 minute this adult babysitter brings him back to us "He is beating up on the older kids!" I swear, those were her exact words. EMBARRASSING! That is all I can say.

I want to hope that this is just a phase, but it sucks. No one wants to play with a mean kid, so what do I do next? We are really trying to do everything "right" with discipline, but it is not working at all! HELP!


Ms. Mamma said...

Those photos are simply the the sweetest and most hilarious considering what you're posting about. THey made my day! Snowflake may as well be his clone...we had the same prob this weekend, but his BIG is only five months old. I really think it's a phase, you are great parents and I have come to think it is a matter of our little darlings realizing the world doesn't revolve around them & exist merely for their pleasure, GASP! There are OTHER LITTLE PEOPLE out there... maybe this is the first in a long line of lost innocenses?!

Christy J said...

Ok... Hayden is the same way. I actually talked to my pediatrician about it the other day. She just told me that he was still young. And it was a lot of me to ask of him for him to be socially 'with it'. So... I don't know. I hate that Hayden hits other kids. He did it the other day at My-gym and I just left. I warned him twice then the 3rd time I had enough. He pitched a fit and I told him we left because he couldn't be nice to his friends. I am so not going to have THAT kid, ya know? If some other kid was hitting him, I'd be pissed. So I don't want to do that to other parents. Time-outs turn into leaving a lot of times. I can't do a hundred time-outs. Maybe I am less likey to be forgiving since I have a baby also. I dunno.

Pedro said...

Whew...I feel better just hearing that other parents share the same dilemma! For the first day on my new job I was sporting a nice scab on the right side of my face that came as a result of Mason dropping a toy train on my face!

Shell said...

That is a good one... I am with ms.mamma about the photos, very sweet and hilarious. I have 2 boys within 2 yrs. of each who long ago were that age. Our method of discipline was slightly different but to each his own. Two of the hardest phases that kids go through seem to be around age 2-ish and then again at around the middle school age. They are getting to find who they are and it is uncertain territory... I am so glad to have boys, I don't know if I could have handled raising a ME.

Ms. Mamma said...

Okay... I just noticed this... did you see the WORRIED look on OTTO"S face in the background?! That is TOO forking funny!

somebody said...