Tuesday, January 01, 2008

In with a BANG!

Today my mom and I got in a fight. It was a huge, nasty, dirty fight. It was by far the worst adult fight that I've ever had with her and I feel sick about it. The hard thing is that I said everything I've been needing to say for years but my delivery? Sucked! I turned into a person that I am not and never want to be.

If there is a good part that has come from this, it makes me value my babies that much more. I want to be the best mom I can be in 2008. I want to yell less. I want to play more. I don't ever, ever want to scare them. This is who I want to be.

12 comments:

BethanyWD said...

It's funny how out of horrible times comes clarity. I've have definitely been there.

Ashley said...

Thinking of you :) - I'm just an email away .....

The Autumn Dahlia said...

I've been there, I've been there. Learning from those things almost makes it worth it... fixing the future is a lot easier than fixing the past :)

MP said...

BLAH...I hate fights..hope you and your mom can get past it...
Great 2008 idea..play more!

Rachel said...

I am sorry you and your mom got into a fight, but at least you were able to say things that needed to be said, right? And, you are an amazing mom!

C said...

Oh, so sorry to hear about your fight with your mom. I have gotten into a few of those with my mom too. The night before my wedding was by far the worst. It was so horrible that I didn't think we'd ever talk again. I almost didn't want to get married because I was so miserable from my fight with my mom.

At least you were able to get things off your chest and find some good out of it. Hopefully you and your mom will make amends soon.

I love your 2008 idea :) I'm sure Harper and Mason will love it too! You are awesome :)

AnnieM said...

Thanks Girls. This is exactly why I blog. The things I said needed to be said I just wish I had done it with more finesse, not veins popping out of my throat.

C- We also got in a fight the night before my wedding, she told my my new in-laws said I had been horrible the week prior. I was. But they had never said that.

That Chick Over There said...

Oh, I'm sorry. I hate when things like that happen. :(

IndyWilsons said...

Oh, Annie. That stinks. My mom and I had one of those recently and it's terrible, I know. Waiting for it to get better is hard too, but she's your mom, and she won't be able to stay mad forever. Perhaps it's just what the two of you needed to do.

Pedro said...

The best part is that we were decorating gingerbread men with the kids while she this whole thing was playing out...

C said...

LOL! Sorry! I know this is not an appropriate time to be laughing, but I checked out Pedro's profile to see if he had a blog...and he's got his interests written as "scrapbooking" and "coin collecting"! I don't know why I had a good chuckle. Pedro, if you do in fact love scrapbooking, that is very cool! If not, you're just plain hilarious!

Annie, what I've found to work well when my mom and I have a big blow out is to just walk away and leave things be for a while. I used to argue and argue and try to get my point across (but she's never wrong and I'm never right, right?). My dad once told me to just drop it. Walk away and mom will calm down. Sometimes that "calming down stage" lasts a few days, a few weeks and sometimes even a few months.

Last time, I went for a walk and in the middle of the woods I just screamed my lungs out. Sounds crazy, but it sure was cathartic! Luckily hubby and I have 750 acres where I can do that and not get arrested for disturbing the peace! LOL!

Another thing I find helps me deal with my fights with mom is to keep a journal (mehhh...scratch that. I kept a journal in high school and she found it and now uses phrases like "I know you hate me sometimes")...or delve into art work. I find I do my best paintings when I'm emotionally charged.

Sorry for this long comment. Hope you feel better soon :)

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