T-minus 8 hours.

Tomorrow is March 1st. Are you ready? I am taking ideas STAT! I promise to follow thru this time and answer all burning questions, within reason. But come on, I leave very little to the imagination. So, bring it!

This is a cry for HELP!

Seriously, I can't take it anymore. My patience are gone. I am feeling like I am in the top 5 for the Worlds Worst Mother award. I don't know what has happened in the past week, but Harper is anti-sleep. She fights it completely. Yesterday her normal 5 hours of daytime napping whittled down to bits and pieces that equaled an hour. One hour of napping throughout the day equaled a screaming, hysterical baby. It was a day from Hell and Saturday was only slightly better.

Now, let me tell you what I have tried. I cannot and will not do Cry It Out. I have no doubt it works, but it isn't for me. I think I have tried everything else though. I used to nurse her to sleep but she is acting like she hates it. As soon as my milk lets down she is totally turned off. However if she is already half asleep she will nurse for hours. If I lay her down. She does this weird stomach crunch thing and tries to sit up. She won't rock. "Wearing her down" only seems to stimulate her more. I am totally clueless. Please tell me I am totally missing something and the answer is simple. Mason was a super hard baby and I don't remember him ever fighting sleep to this extreme. Aaaaaaa!

You are tired of pictures, aren't you?

I know, I know. I've totally been lacking quality content here haven't I? I go in spurts of here just like I do with everything else in my life. Hello afternoon delight, aa-aa-afternoon delight! So maybe it's not the delight that the song is referring to, bow-chicka-wow, but it is my afternoon pick-me-up I can't go without. Are you a prude! It is just a little White Russian. Calm down already it only impairs my judgement slightly.

"Mashon quit swinging yer sister by her tows!"

I kid. I love my iced coffee, 2 Splendas and a splash of fat-free cream. So delish I look forward to it everyday. And it keeps my eyelids up! I digress.

I've been thinking of doing my own little challenge. It is very "last November", but I am thinking of doing a post everyday in March. Every. Single. Day. No guarantees for quality content, but I think it might be fun. You might learn something new about me. I might learn something about me! I am willing to give it a shot. Should I do it? Any suggestions?

Bring on March!

Weekend Photos

Harper Shakur. I am not at all into the frilly headbands that leave indents in the poor babies heads, but I love these that my friend Jill gave me. They are so Tupac-errific!

A redemption for Mason after the nose-picking incident.

Spring has Sprung!

Today it was in the upper 30's, heat wave! We couldn't wwait any longer so we busted out our new toy.


I love my new double stroller!
Harper lasted a few minutes and passed out. Mason sat like a good boy for the hour long trek. We stopped only long enough to take a picture and for Mason to find his brain.


We all needed to get out! We got home and I couldn't help but snap a few pictures of my rosey cheeked pink bundle of love!

Banana-watch 2007

February 15, 2007

Banana watch 2007 has come to a close.

The reason: constipation due to over-consumption.

Final words: treated me well, will be missed.

Insider Info: You all are still a bunch of freaks. I think I was a tad dilerious and quite possibly hungry when I wrote that post. I never expected to hear about it a week later. I heard about it via, comments, emial and phone calls. I like to think I am among good company. Banana Lovers Unite!

Word.

Ms.Mamma takes great pictures, doesn't she?

drowning

Have you ever imagined how it would feel to be in the middle of the ocean on a boat that was sinking. You see nothing as far as you look and know that swimming is not an option. The water starts to seap in and tickles around your ankles. Then it seems to pour in faster, quickly rising to your waist. Then the heaviness pushes on your chest and it gets harder to breathe. It gets up to your shoulders now and almost feels like it is pushing down on you, testing to see how strong you are. Then the choking feeling as it wraps around your neck. Then up to your mouth and nose. You have to work for every breath keeping only the tip of your nose out. And finally just the straw you grabbed as your last survival thought went through your head. As you breath the tiny breaths of strained air you know that that too will only help you a moment longer. Defeated.

That is how I am feeling. I just simply can't get ahead. I pour my heart into one area of my life, and the others suffer. There are the big things like relationships and family. And the small, like obligations and daily commitments. But together it feels like a big huge spider web that has me sucked in.

I wish I felt like there was one thing I excelled at instead of doing everything just Okay - Enough to keep my head above water. But I feel like that water is rising in slow motion. I'm not fully submerged but it is coming in inch by inch.

I know I can figure it out. I know how to swim, I know how to breathe. I just need to find the plug to pull, to let some of the water out. Where is that plug...

*no comments. I'm not looking for warm fuzzies. I'm expressing.

B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

I am going bananas for bananas people.

Have you ever noticed that a good banana is really good and a bad banana is really bad? The other day I was driving to my Yoga class and was snacking on a banana. It was the perfect banana. Perfectly golden yellow, not a touch of brown or green, just perfectly banana-y. It was seriously heavenly. As in, if I knew a banana would always taste that good I'd pass up a lot of not so healthy things to "peel that banana and Uh! Take a bite!"

On the other hand green bananas have that wierd ability to dry out your tongue and make your teeth feel funny. Brown ones are sickeningly sweet and leave a wicked bad taste in your mouth until you brush your teeth, not good.

Another way I love to devour my banana is to smear it with a little peanut butter. Totally delish! If you even like those foods a little, you have got to give the combo a shot. You just may be in love.

Speaking of love. Why am I still so immature that I can't help but crack a totally lame, childish joke when Pedro eats a banana? Men are allowed to love a good banana too aren't they? Or is it taboo for them to eat a banana in public?

Mmmmmmm...I love me some bananas.

That book is a total joke

You know that book about Alexander? Hahah. I laugh at it! I only wish I could laugh about my morning. Let me shorten it for you, otherwise you might just think I am making this up. I wish I was, I wish I was.

Harper wakes up earlier than normal. I go into my bedroom where she is laying on my bed, on my side, in a pool of puke. It is in her ear in her hair and covering the entire right side of her. She is smiling so I'm not worried even though she NEVER pukes. She must have had too much air in her tummy. So I strip her clothes off and get the tub started. Mason finds me in the bathroom and informs me he has pooped. Great! I love to multi-task! I strip him down too and put them both in the tub. Mason is being totally annoying so I get Harper out and into fresh clothes. Mason is now ready to be out. Duh, what fun is a tub if you don't have anyone to annoy? I haven't gotten his clothes ready so I take Harper and make a mad dash to get him a diaper and clean clothes. But, Wait! What is the dog doing? I haven't fed him yet. What is he eating, and why are there pieces of a diaper on the floor? He didn't! Oh yes he did. The disgusting dog had found the diaper which was all rolled up and fastened shut with tabs and opened it up and proceded to devour the contents, which mind you was so hellacious that required its owner to be bathed. The poop has been smeared on the carpet in the only room we have carpet and the dog smells of rank, toddler poop.

Now it is just after one and I still have not showered. However, my sheets have been washed, the rented Rug Doctor has done its job and my kids will soon go down for their naps. Now I need a stiff drink. Anyone care to join me. I promise I won't make you sit in poop or puke...just Do Not let the dog lick you!

I'm Weightin'. I'm Watchin'!

Last week, another 3 lbs. That my friends, bring my total weight loss to a whopping 9.6 lbs. Not bad, not bad at all. There is a problem however. Last week I thought I did really bad. I ate out at least 3 times. One of them a chinese buffet and you know that can't be "point" friendly and I still lost. That is called negative re-enforcement. I've been bad. Really bad ever since. One highlight of the weekend. No-Pudge Brownies. If you know what's good for you, stay away from these. They are the best thing I've ever had, in my life. They are totally fat free and according to Pedro the batter tastes like frosting. The problem...do you think you can stop at one little square? Oh hell no. I pretty much ate the whole box throughout the day yesterday. I am pretty sure the "no-pudge" part doesn't apply to eating the whole box. So this week is Operation Starvation. Ready, Set, don't Eat! I kid I kid. If you only knew me you'd know that not eating is totally impossible for me. However, this week I am going to me a model Weight Watchers student. I just hope it's not too late...

My not so baby boy.

I think Mason is weaning. In fact, I know he is. In the past week I have nursed him twice. It is such a strange feeling I have about all this. Do I feel like I have nursed him long enough? Absolutely. Do I hate to think about my baby being less of a baby and more of a boy. Absolutely. It is so bittersweet to watch him grow into this little person with an amazing personality that no longer "needs" me to make it through the day. Part of me feels incredibly selfish to even have the slightest bit of sadness but at the same time I am so ready to be done. The boy is 3. And also, the boy is 3! What a great thing that we were able to have this relationship for such a long time. I think I have said it a thousand times, to anyone who will listen but... I've never heard anyone say that they nursed too long, but I've heard dozens of women say that wished they had nursed longer. So now that I am at the end of the road with Mason, I can honestly say...


I wouldn't have done it any different.

Everyone Loves A MILF!

I got tired, in a different way. Tired of blaming the "baby weight" for feeling not so pretty. It may or may not have been from having my babies, but it began to be totally irrelivant. I wanted the flab gone and decided to finally do something about it.

I joined Weight Watchers.

The number of points I got was huge. Most people in Weight Watchers get 20 something points and I got in the upper 30's. All for the love of my boobs. (I haven't talked about my boobs enough lately and they are beginning to feel left out.) Seriously though, if you are a nursing mom you get an extra 12 points a day. I have found that those 12 points convert to an extra well balanced meal or supersizing (hehe, adios McDonald's) a portion of something at everymeal. If I can still eat a whole bunch of food and still lose weight, why wasn't I losing weight before Weight Watchers? I even have a Bachelors of Science degree in this stuff. I was in a rut. A huge eat whatever and whenever I wanted rut.

The first day, I was obsessed. I couldn't stop thinking about how bad I wanted to dive into the Tostitos on top of the pantry, or the ice cream in the freezer. I felt miserable. The second day it got easier and I stocked our fridge with fresh fruits and veggies and whole grain rice and couscous . Now I can eat a whole bunch of food, if I just eat the right stuff. I can literally snack all day if I do it wisely. It is not uncommon for me to eat an apple, banana and grapefruit everyday, for snacks. Which, DUH! I should have been doing anyway!

Last Thursday was my first weigh-in and I lost 4.6 lbs. In one week! Tomorrow I weigh-in again. I will keep you posted but I will not reveal my weight like a lot of brave souls do. . .I am a coward like that. Don't worry though, I still am very open about other things like my huge mass milk producing missiles. Or we can talk about the side effects of a high-fiber diet, GAS! Or how my 3 year old walks around the house singing, "Mama's got...hhhhhot farts!" He sings it in the sweetest tone you'd never now he was singing about something so crude. See, I told you I was open.

*FYI - Harper slept decent last night, up only twice and still sleeping at 9:10 am. She is totally healthy so all I can chalk it up to is a growth spurt. And geeze, she's really big already!

Put me out of my misery, PLEASE!

First things first. I bragged way too much about what a great sleeper Miss Harper was. The key word "was". But really she was for three and a half months and now she is getting up no less than 3 times per night. To some people that is actually a good night, but I was spoiled with her only getting up once a night from the day I brought her home. So needless to say, I am tired, very tired and achey, and tired.
I do have a bunch of things in the works though:

* A vacation in the works, to some place warm.

* A car crashing into my parents house in the middle of the night.

*I joined Weight Watchers and am going to be a MILF before you know it.

*Two very cool baby items I just bought and want to tell you all about.

But for now, this will have to do, because did I mention I'm tired?

Don't hate me because I'm naughty.

My fine is...$495.60

I guess I was a naughty girl at one time. This one is really fun, play along...
What's your raunch factor? Let's put a dollar value on that!

Here’s how it works:
You don’t have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine. And NO, it is not PER incident (otherwise, some of us would have totals more than the national debt!).

Bring up that calculator, and get going!

* Smoked pot — $10
* Did acid — $5
* Ever had sex at church — $25
* Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you — $40
* Had sex with someone on MySpace — $25
* Had sex for money — $100
* Vandalized something — $20
* Had sex on your parents’ bed — $10
* Beat up someone — $20
* Been jumped — $10
* Crossed dressed — $10
* Given money to stripper — $25
* Been in love with a stripper — $20
* Kissed some one who’s name you didn’t know — $0.10
* Hit on some one of the same sex while at work — $15
* Ever drive drunk — $20
* Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk — $50
* Used toys while having sex — $30
* Got drunk, passed out and don’t remember the night before — $20
* Went skinny dipping — $5
* Had sex in a pool — $20
* Kissed someone of the same sex — $10
* Had sex with someone of the same sex — $20
* Cheated on your significant other — $10
* Masturbated — $10
* Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend — $20
* Done oral — $5
* Got oral — $5
* Done / got oral in a car while it was moving — $25
* Stole something — $10
* Had sex with someone in jail — $25
* Made a nasty home video — $15
* Had a threesome — $50
* Had sex in the wild — $20
* Been in the same room while someone was having sex — $25
* Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars — $20
* Had sex with someone 10 years older — $20
* Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 — $25
* Been in love with two people or more at the same time — $50
* Said you love someone but didn’t mean it — $25
* Went streaking — $5*
Went streaking in broad daylight — $15
* Been arrested — $5
* Spent time in jail — $15
* Peed in the pool — $0.50
* Played spin the bottle — $5
* Done something you regret — $20
* Had sex with your best friend — $20
* Had sex with someone you work with at work — $25
* Had anal sex — $80
* Lied to your mate — $5
* Lied to your mate about the sex being good — $25

Seriously, how did my number get so high? I swear I have never had sex for money, but that's all I'm sayin'.
Tally it up and Title it…"My Fine Is…"
Do it, you just might shock yourself. Then, let me know so I can check yours out and I don't have to feel so naughty all by my lonesome. Chop, chop...

Happy Happy Harper!

This girl, I swear if she isn't tired or sleeping, she's smiling!



She's so pretty. I'm keeping her.

psssst! You haven't delurked yet have you? Yes you! I know who you are. See that number when you scroll down as far as you can? That means I know who you are and you should stop in and say hi! I'm nice, really!

I love me some stuff...

I am a phase kind of girl. I go through these strange phases with everything in my life. For six months I'll drink the same Starbucks drink then something will catch my eye, I'll try it and that will be my new fave. There was also a Gatorade in there somewhere.

The same for products. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by smells. I get tired of everything having a scent. Really, think about it. You take a shower. You use shampoo, conditioner, soap for my pits and girly stuff, then body wash. You get out, dry off, apply deodorant, slather on the lotion and probably apply some styling product. Then you finish with a spray of something, cologne, perfume, whatever. Hello! How many smells?

So I go all anti-smells sometimes and do unscented everything. Other times I am obsessed with finding a new perfume. My point? Yeah right, my point. I thought it might be fun to tell you all the stuff I am really "into" at this particular moment. Don't hold me to this tomorrow ...

1) All Natural Chapstick- It is light on you lips but has this amazing sweetish buttery smell. I was slathering it on in the car and told my husband "I'd bathe in it if I could." He gave me this look, the same one he gave me when I told him I liked to pretend that Jason Mraz was singing to me whenever I heard the song "You and I both." (I still love that song too, so there.)

2) Buttermilk Bath Soak- It smells so good but doesn't leave you smelling crazy strong. I got two pints for Christmas and one is half gone. I love a bath before bed.

3) Sensual Amber- Ok, this probably is strange, because Bath and Body stuff is usually just too sweet and too smelly, but this reminds me of my favorite sexy perfume, Chance. I love that perfume but it is so rich smelling, I only wear it when I am going out and dressed up. Two things that rarely happen and almost never happen together. So when I smelled Sensual Amber I loved that it was a lotion that I didn't feel strange wearing at home in yoga pants, carrying a baby on my hip.

4) Mint Mojito Orbit- this gum is delish and helps keep your teeth feeling sqeaky clean. Just don't get in the tub after a two year loses his gum in it!

So that's enough for today. Maybe I'll continue with my essential baby stuff next. Oh and for those of you wondering about my favorite Starbucks drink right now, and I know you were. Iced Passion Tea. I am trying to lighten up on the caffeine for the sake of my baby girl. She prefers non-coffee flavored boobie milk.

Just one more thing. It is De-lurking week, so stop in and say Hi! Holla!

Where the hell is my helmet?

You know those days you think you'd be better off locked in a room with padded walls. It's one of those...

Alternate Title:
Child for Sale Cute as a button, Wild as a Dingo!

And I wonder about baby weight...

Today Pedro came home for lunch bringing the whole fam McDonald's. We were all sitting at the table indulging on our gourmet food and I was telling Pedro how I again today had to apologize to Mason for being grouchy. Sometimes I feel like such a rag of a Mom, I hate it! Any way we were talking about this and Mason interrupts with a formal introduction.
"Dada, This is my friend Mama." pointing at me and being so completely serious. That kid. He makes me want to be a better person.

Photo Blog Yo !

I am trying to learn to like our Mac, but it is pretty foreign.

Today I played around with photo booth. It was pretty exciting!


Then we got ca-raaaazy!


Then I got some sugar!


Then I got very serious!


It was time for me to be a Mom(and to look a little cross eyed apparently)!


And finally I got the urge...

...strange, very strange. I know.