This pregnancy is starting to destroy me. I am not very nauseous, boobies still don't hurt, but my God am I exhausted. Over the past 7 days, I have taken a nap 6 of those and still cannot wait to get into bed for the night by 9. Now I know that is very common to be worn out at the beginning and end of pregnancy, but I feel like it is so unfair to my full-energy toddler. Yesterday and today it hit me like a ton of bricks..."How in the hell am I going to be able to do this?"
A few weeks ago I started to think Mason's outburst were lessoning, how wrong I was. We are back to square-one and back to head-butting the tile kitchen floor. I used to think I was a pretty patient Mom, but lately I feel like nothing more than a failure in that department. I am yelling way more than I know I should, and I can't help but blame myself for my 2-year-old son mirroring my childish actions.
I am not writing this to get all kinds of feedback on what a great mom I seem like. I don't want that. I am writing to get the way I am feeling off my chest.
I know my hormones are raging. I know I am exhausted. I know Mason is at a rough age. But still it doesn't help my to feel like any less of a failure right now! So now I am going to take my crying induced, puffy face self down to bed for a much needed nap.
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7 comments:
Wah Wah Wah, I had to fo that because of the Debbie Downer reference. You are a great mom, but you have more than two hands full with Mason. I tell people at work about some of the things that kid does and the look of shock is priceless. Hopefully he shapes up over the next 7 months.
Love,
m
Let me tell you... the most horrible Hayden has been EVER was when I was 9 months pregnant. I just wanted to SCREAM all the time. Actually, I think I DID SCREAM all the time, but that was because I couldn't get my full term pregnant ass off of the effen couch. :o)
I was lucky that when I was in teh begining of my pregnancy with Fin, Hayden was taking regular LOOOOOONG naps and I could sleep with him.
I still want to see your holy terror and mine together. I think they'd have a BLAST!!!
Hang in there...
OH... does Mason take bribes? While it might not be the 'correct' thing to do, it works awesome for Hayden. It depends on what it is for.. but when I want him to get in the car, I use a fruit snack (fruit leather). It kind of depends on his mood, where we are, whats available. Maybe bribery (sp) will work?
I hope you feel better soon. Don't be too hard on yourself! If you need anything, you know where I am.
All I can say is been there, done that sister! I feel you! This too shall pass my dear. It looks like you have some excellent support.
Thanks All! I am off to LLL to get some much needed support! I have more to write about later. Thanks Again Blogging Buddies, I love you guys!
Not that I want you to suffer but I'm glad you are writing about this. Lately the thought about having another child (some day not now!) has been in my head and I keep wondering how the hell people are pregnant and are able to take care of another child when 1 is a FT job. This is giving me great insight.
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