Twas the night before 30

Twas the night before 30,
my days still chaotic.
So tonight I'll feel better,
by drinking Hypnotic.

My week was a bust.
As bad as they get.
But I posted everyday,
never even took a rest.

Tomorrow I'm 30
I hope it slows down.
For just a few hours
I'm a queen with a crown.

Bring the body wrap,
the massage,
the dinner, just us two.
Cause after this week,
My brain is a big pile of goo.

I wish I were happy,
full of fun birthday cheers,
But really you're more likely
to catch me with tears.

(intermission) (Christmas Party at Ms.Mammas)(Home post 2 glasses of wine)

The wine was delish
The hor 'd orves were so tasty.
Won't be going to Weight Watchers
Cause I'm flabby and pasty.

The last decade was rad.
Was as good as it gets.
Shouldn't be all, "wah".
Look at the goals that I've met.

There is just one more thing
before I lose sight...
Happy 30's to all!
And to 20's? Goodnight.

Can't seem to FOCUS.

The house is quiet. Pedro is out watching a football game and both kids are sound asleep. I've got eleventy-bazillion candles lit because I still can't calm down. Harper is going through that crazy desrtuctive phase. THe one you almost forget about after it passes until you have another baby then WHAM! I think I have to say it is my least favorite phase of all developemental stages. Wait. What are they learning by being destructive again? Right now I don't even care.

Tonight my camera took the abuse. Yes, my brand spanking new camera. I had taken some pictures this afternoon and left it on the kitchen counter after I was done. After dinner when no one was in the kitchen Harper reached up and pulled the neck-strap and crack went my camera (insert dry-heaving here). The lens, is totally effed (insert profuse,spontaneous pit sweat here). Tomorrow I am taking it in (insert $$$$$ here).

That's all I can say.

Me, me, me.

I was thinking today that I'd really like to spend a couple of hours Saturday morning doing something for me. I really haven't done anything pamperish in months. What would you do? Would you go to a Weight Watchers meeting on your birthday ready to hear bad news? Yeah. Me either.

**UPDATE**
I just found a gift certificate from nearly two years ago for a spa package.
Queen for a Day- includes an herbal body wrap and a one hour massage. How's that for a day of pampering? It's all free too! YAY!

Some things are probably better left unsaid.

Tomorrow is the day I get my girlie parts inspected. I don't get nervous like I used to. I've had babies now and when that happened I am sure my modesty was passed as well.

My va-heena. It has served me well.

The thing I've been thinking about is different. During the inspection my boobies get the once over as well. When this is happening I always feel the need to chant,

"You'll shoot your eye out!"

So maybe I don't actually say that. That was my Christmas Story tribute. But honestly, I do feel the need to say something to the effect that milk may in fact squirt out. I have said this for the past 4 check-ups (Dear God I've now been nursing for 4 years. Straight!) I think I am just being courteous but I've also done/said some inappropriate things in my day. What do you think?

Here, have a picture.

I wanted to give you a family picture taken at Thanksgiving, but they all blew. So instead I give you my pretty little girl.

In the top ten for the worst day ever.

I am so tired I can't believe I am even going to try to describe my day. It was long and horrible and HORRIBLE!

Harper woke up this morning to a beautifully snotty nose. Everyone though it was so cute that her snotty cousin was feeding her pumpkin pie from his fork. They were all "awww, how sweet!" as my germiphobic mind was all "are you serious? The kid has snot running from his nose directly to his mouth and I see nothing sweet about it!" I just get tired of being the germ crazy in-law so I zipped the lips that time. Stupid. While I am very aware that kids need to build their immune systems. I don;t think you need to go around licking Pietre dishes. I think that is overkill.

Pedro spent the weekend working on more projects. Our partially finished attic is now a nearly finished playroom. While I can't wait for the kids to have a room to call their own, I need a little time to breathe on the weekends. This weekend, the very long weekend, I felt like I held my breath for hours at a time. By noon I blew and went pyscho informing Pedro that he wouldn't be taking on another project for a year. I am not sure where I came up with the time frame but it was what came flying out of my rabid mouth. By one o'clock I was sent out the door (psycho works!). I needed to catch up on a ton of things, including grocery shopping.

My first stop was at the home improvement store to get paint for the "project" room. I picked out the paint color, had it matched and went to check out. As I ran my debit card thru, the cashier looked at me and said it was not accepted. Just as all this was happening, Pedro happened to call my cell. I told his what was going on and he said it was not possible for the card to be declined since there was money in our account and in our overdraft account. With the line behind me growing, they told me to go up to customer service and call the credit card company. I was embarrassed and pissed and irritated with a short fuse. I told them I really didn't have time to sit on the phone and I left- with no paint and more ammunition for my powerfully shitty day.

I got to my car and told Pedro the rest of the story and that I was afraid to go grocery shopping, fearing my card would be declined again. We both decided that I should go and get cash from an ATM. I drove to the closest ATM which was also our bank. I stuck my card in and immediately it said that my card had been confiscated and that I should contact my financial institution. I think I may have also seen a little green monster pop out with his thumbs in his ears singing- neener, neener, neee-ner.

I am not why I didn't start crying at this point. I drove home and Pedro informed me that our debit and credit cards had been blocked. After a half an hour on the phone with the card company we found out that yesterday there was suspicious activity on our card. I put $25 in gas in our car and 2 minutes later at the same gas station our card was charged another $75. They noticed the strange activity and blocked our accounts. The $75 got erased but my fricking debit card is gone.

When thing finally got figured out I went to grocery shop and to get new paint. As I was walking into Wal-Mart to get some new Dutch Boy paint, two cars slammed into each other five feet from me. It was Wal-Mart. Typical.

T minus 6 days.

Do you remember when you were a teenager and you never really saw yourself at 30? No, really. I imagined getting older, getting out of college, getting married and having kids but I never had a clear picture of 30.

My clear picture is just about to come and slap me upside the head.

Bring it! I am ready to take it on.

(Can we just end this NaPoBloBlah-blah-blah already?)

Big Boy, still my baby.

IMG_0119.JPG
Originally uploaded by glamgranola

As I write this, my baby is sleeping in a huge big boy bed. Until a few nights ago, he loved his crib and wanted nothing to do with the big bed taking up space in his room, but tonight's the night. Why do these tiny little milestones tug at my heart so much? I'm going to be such a mess when he starts school.

More Talk of Oil.

Since it is Thanksgiving night and I am pooped from all the travel and family, let's not talk about it ok? At least not for tonight. I've had about all the screaming-baby-in-the-car that I can handle for while and I can handle a lot! So let's talk about something all adult and crunchy. Like, OIL!

I am loving the results from the oil cleansing. So much so that I talked my husband into trying it and he likes it too. My skin as I mentioned before is very dry and pretty sensitive. I get an occasional pimple that Mason loves to point out as an "owie". I never use anything on my face that has a fragrance. It is so dry that if I were to work out, and sit around for a couple of hours the amount of sweaty oil that would be on my face would be welcome. I am always searching for something that makes my face feel silky. Not tight and not greasy, just silky.

Pedros skin is perfect from the get-go. For the record, before I knew what his name was called my roomates and I called him "Pretty Skin Boy" or a tad less cheesy "PSB". He too gets an occasional blemish but his skin is naturally silky. I would classify him in the normal category. He was convinced that rubbing oil into his skin would put him over into the oily category. I even had my doubts but it worked like a charm for him too.

After doing OCM for nearly a week I told Pedro that my face just felt balanced. Think about it. We wash our face and strip away the natural oils, bad and good, then slather on a nice moisturizer to replace what we just scrubbed off. After I do OCM my face feels like I just moisturized with the nicest face cream ever but also super clean. I hope I am not reading more into than I need to but my pores seem tiny and the glow is something similar to the best post-sex glow ever.

The only downfall is the time. Most nights I am so tired by bedtime that I seriously just want to splash my face with a little water and go to bed. This takes around 3-5 minutes which sometimes is too long. I really don't see myself using it nightly forever, but for the winter or if you want your skin to feel amazing, oil it is!

It's all about the turkey.

Tomorrow we are packing up the kids and driving 2 hours to see Pedro's family. I think Thanksgiving is a great, meaningful holiday, yet I am not at all thankful for all the hustle and bustle of driving in a car with two kids for a meal. Gah.

So tomorrow morning I am waking up with the birds or 7 o'clock and my neighbor and I are going for a long walk before we gorge ourselves the rest of the day. I love eating on Thanksgiving, I just hate how disgusting I feel after.

So tell me, what are your most and least favorite parts of Thanksgiving?

So Close, Yet So Far Away.

Today was almost the best day ever. But not. Last week I was talking to my dad about my new fancy-dancy camera. I remembered there was a time way back when my dad was into photography. I remember him splurging on a nice camera. When we were talking I asked him what kind it was. He didn't remember; It had been years.

This morning I was online looking at some even fancier lenses than the one that came standard with my camera. Later during the morning I was talking to my dad and asked him if he ever looked to see what kind f camera he had. He went to go look as I was talking to him. It was a Canon! With a macro lens! An old school Canon but a Canon non the less. What you may or may not understand is that the cool thing about Canon cameras is that all the lenses work on all the bodies. Even film to digital. I was so excited I nearly wet myself. He told me I could take them if I'd like. It was good Karma payday for me. I drove over to there house within an hour and belted down stairs to inspect my new accesories. They didn't fit. The old school parts went out in the late 80's. Wah!

So back to the search for a new lens for my camera. At least Christmas is just around the corner?

The crunchy things I do #432

Tonight I am going to start OCM. Have you heard of this? I have super dry skin and really have never found a cleanser that I love. So I am going to try this starting tonight. I am using 3 parts olive oil to 1 part caster oil. I love the fact that there are no scents involved and it removes make up too. I hope it is a success.

I'm so dizzy my head is spinning...

I get in these writing slumps. I write a paragraph and then hold my finger on the delete key until all I see is white. I think to myself," Gah! Boring! No one wants to read about this." Then I just get all over-analytical and end up taking the day off. But this month, I can't do that. I am forced to write my most mundane daily occurrences. I can't over-think and I shouldn't. The thing is, the censor thing or lack there of, is a very slippery slope. This is my blog, yes? I should say whatever I please, yes? Not really. Some things I think about are really better left unsaid and just thought about. Sometimes the things I think about are very opinionated and borderline and um, bitchy. Not at all the kind of person I want to be in writing or in real life.

This all came about when I was thinking about some of the blogs I used to read. Many of them lost my interest because they turned all "preachy". Frankly, when I have free time to look around online I generally do it for entertainment. Sometimes to learn about something, sometimes to look for a laugh, sometimes it's looking for hope (that I am not a crazy looney) but usually it is just for fun, like reading a good book. I am not all secretive about my opinions. In fact if I were asked about a controversial topic I can't think of a single topic I'd plead the 5th on. I just don't like to be all hardcore, all the time. I like my censor.

So where am I going with all this? I am not really sure. Just writing about what's on my mind.

I do have to add, to jumble up my post even more, that the very thing about speaking what's on a persons mind is what is so lovely about kids. I love how frank Mason is. So innocent and yet so direct. No fluff included. They are kids they are not expected to know what to censor. That happens during that "growing up" part.

Last night Mason and I went to Target. I let him sit in back of the cart as I pushed it through the ladies department. As we were weaving in and out of racks,the cart at one point faced directly to the lingerie department and a plethora of bras hanging perfectly in rows. Clearly they caught Mason's attention because out of nowhere he blurted,

"Wow! Look at all those boobies!"

How did I respond? I didn't. I just laughed.

Well, Shit.

Today I woke up starving. I truly never wake up starving but of course my head knew I couldn't eat before my WW meeting. You know what I am talking about right? When I first started going to meetings I went at 6pm and good Lord that was a long time to not eat. So I knew I could handle fasting until 9am.

I walked into the meeting pretty unsure of what the outcome would be. I worked out a lot this week and also ate a lot this week. I stepped on the scale and dun, dun ,dunn...I lost .6 of a pound. Just over a half of a damn pound. That leaves just 4.4 left until December 1st. Miracles do happen, right? Right?

iPod Revamp

I've made my playlist for working out. Thanks for all your suggestions, they helped me pick what will get me all revved up!

Here is what I was lisenting to:





Now, my new and improved playlist for getting my sweat on:

Thanksgiving- one week early.

Today we spent around four hours in the car and the rest of the day doing funeral type things. Funerals, they're exausting in all ways possible. The one positive thing about them is how grateful I am by the end of the day. Grateful that I have two healthy kids who run me ragged, a hot husband who gets crabby and a big family with issues galore. Today nothing else really matters, I'm just happy they're all here.

Weight Loss, What?

Today was one of those days that makes me wonder if there is a god somewhere who wants me to be fat. My Mom called this morning and asked me and the kids to meet her out for lunch. Because I never turn down a lunch out, I got us all ready and out we went. We went to a little diner that has been in town forever, nothing fancy, just good plain food.

I look over the menu and made a reasonably healthy choice. The old me would've ordered something like chicken salad on a croissant but the new me who wants to be hot again ordered a portobella mushroom sandwich. OK, the old me may have ordered that too, but this sandwich sucked! The mushroom itself was thinner than a McDonald's burger and it just came with lettuce, tomato, a dry whole wheat bun and a pickle spear. Thank God I'd ordered a cup of chicken noodle soup or a may have started looking for food droppings under the surrounding tables.

I left hungry. I got in my car and drove directly to Starbucks and ordered a nonfat Chai latte and an Oatmeal cookie. I swear I am going to be in BIG trouble when I stop nursing, because I just can't eat enough, ever. Seriously? Who leaves a lunch date, hungry?

On Life and Death.

When Mason was born prematurely we spent two weeks in the NICU. It was all consuming. I thought about nothing else. I cared about nothing else. It was just Pedro and I and our little helpless baby with an occasional visitor thrown in. Nothing else mattered.

When the day came that we were given the okay to take our tiny baby home I remember having the strangest feeling. Everyone was the same. They had been going to their jobs, they had gotten haircuts. They were just living. While we were experiencing some of the hardest days of our lives, everyone else was just living.

On Sunday I called my friend,neighbor, photographer at 9:30 am. She was at her in-laws house while her Mother-in-law was spending her last days at home. I asked her how things were going and she told me her mother-in-law had passed away just a half an hour earlier. They had been spending the last 30 minutes soaking up all that was left of her. They gave her her last bath, they took pictures, and they said goodbye.

Later that day I was in my car, on my way home from grocery shopping and I had the strangest feeling again. While another family was grieving the loss of someone they loved so much, I was out shopping for food. I felt a little ashamed.

I think about all the times that little coincidental things happen and I say "what a small world". But the fact is, it's not small at all. It's huge-and sad how little each life being born or passing really affects the rest of the world. We are all just little water drops in the ocean that is life.

The weight is over.

This Saturday, I went back to Weight Watchers. Not that I ever left or anything, I just wasn't going. It was been months since I lost a mere pound. With my 30th birthday approaching in 18 days I've been revived and I am going to look good. I've set a reasonable goal for those two and a half weeks of 5 pounds. I can do it! Why five pounds? Because 5 pounds would put me at a very pretty number(to me). A number that I've been wanting to snuggle with.

I am not usually one to care about numbers. It's been made very clear that a number is nothing more than just, a number. I still weigh much more than I did in college but some of my smallest college jeans fit me with ease. My body is so different. My B's have become functioning D's. My once flat stomach has grown 2 healthy babies and is marked with proof. My budonkadonk no longer carries as much junk in the trunk as it did in my party days. So basically I still have problem areas, they are just new areas. Should we even talk about the muffin top? No? Good. I hate that.

So for the next two weeks I am working out hard, molasses cookie intake will be kept to a minimum and I am going to lose five pounds by December 1st.

Also, if you haven't left me your favorite workout song, could you help a girl out? So far, so good.

Music makes the world go 'round.

I am in search for new workout music for my ipod. I need help. The stuff I've been listening to works. So well in fact that I'm inspired. I've noticed that when I am on my long walk and a really good, upbeat song comes on, I get the urge to run!

I know, right? Who would've thought.

The problem is very few of the songs on it are fast and furious. So my question for you is...tell me one or two of your favorite workout songs or a song that you can't help but start grooving to when you hear it.

Don't be embarrassed. The ones I have ready to go are:

Since You've Been Gone- Kelly Clarkson
Who Knew - Pink

So bring it on! Can't wait to hear your suggestions.

*Laura, you should have a huge list for me since you run marathons. A whole lot of music can be played while running 26.2 miles. She runs MARATHONS people!