Tuesday, November 13, 2007

On Life and Death.

When Mason was born prematurely we spent two weeks in the NICU. It was all consuming. I thought about nothing else. I cared about nothing else. It was just Pedro and I and our little helpless baby with an occasional visitor thrown in. Nothing else mattered.

When the day came that we were given the okay to take our tiny baby home I remember having the strangest feeling. Everyone was the same. They had been going to their jobs, they had gotten haircuts. They were just living. While we were experiencing some of the hardest days of our lives, everyone else was just living.

On Sunday I called my friend,neighbor, photographer at 9:30 am. She was at her in-laws house while her Mother-in-law was spending her last days at home. I asked her how things were going and she told me her mother-in-law had passed away just a half an hour earlier. They had been spending the last 30 minutes soaking up all that was left of her. They gave her her last bath, they took pictures, and they said goodbye.

Later that day I was in my car, on my way home from grocery shopping and I had the strangest feeling again. While another family was grieving the loss of someone they loved so much, I was out shopping for food. I felt a little ashamed.

I think about all the times that little coincidental things happen and I say "what a small world". But the fact is, it's not small at all. It's huge-and sad how little each life being born or passing really affects the rest of the world. We are all just little water drops in the ocean that is life.


Ashley said...

stop making me think ....... it's too early

MP said...

I know what you mean..but I think as long as we can live our lives day to day without thinking the world revolves AROUND us..we're all good. The world is huge and as long as even in the back of our minds we can appreciate that someone right now somewhere in the word: being born, dying, killed, killing themself, falling in love, laughing, living their dream.. It is all happening!
We can't feel bad that our happy is when someone else is having their sad..
..just my 2 cents..

Ms. Mamma said...

Annie- This is such a meaningful post. And the amazing thing is that you had this realization...most people never, ever do. Is that good thing or a bad thing? I don't know, but it definitely makes the people in your circle all the more important. Excellent post.

Rachel said...

I love what MP said. So so true.

That Chick Over There said...

Isn't it weird?

Boy Child and Girl Child's biological father has not seen them in years and years. Neither has his family. Once when they were probably about 3 years old, his mother sent them some toys and clothes that were appropriate for infants. Seriously, they were baby things like 12 months clothing and stuff.

It was as though she believed that since SHE hadn't seen them, they hadn't grown at all.

It was the weirdest thing ever.

IndyWilsons said...

I have had this realization before, and it scares the crap out of me and makes me feel a bit guilty. I guess it hit me about a year ago when my sister in law's mom died out of the blue...while I was sleeping through the night, and lazily late into the morning...and happily expecting my baby. Puts it all into perspective and makes you realize not to take a single thing for granted.

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