I have been thinking a lot lately about the very fine line that lies between opinionated and jugdemental. That line is crucial because it can be painful to be in the presence of a judgemental person. And, you know what they say...Opinions are like buttholes, everyone has one. Classy, I know. So lets get into it, shall we?
Having two kids has re-enforced my mantra, "you do what works for you".
What works for me? Sometimes I feel like nothing is working for me, but here's what we do. I breastfeed exclusively. I wear slings but also depend heavily on the swing and the Jumperoo. We co-sleep, but not because I like it or believe in it. I do it for my own selfish reasons, I. Need. Sleep. and I am too lazy to wake up any more than I already am. Actually I really don't like it. Every morning I wake up with a stiff neck and a sore back. I can't tell you how much I 'd give to sleep in my own bed all sprawled and free. In due time. We don't "cry it out". I tried it once and it was the most traumatic thing I've ever done. To hear my baby's cry turn from pissed to terrified was the most horrible thing for me to hear. I vowed to never do it again. It just didn't work for us and maybe I didn't really want it to. So do I do "attatchement parenting"? Nope, I hate to label and I don't meet all the criteria. I do what feels right and natural and frankly, sometimes I do what gets me through the day.
I have this friend who has a baby the same age as Harper. They were struggling big time as a family from the lack of sleep. Their marriage was getting shakier by the day. They needed to try something different and decided to try CIO. I agreed. When you get to the point of your marriage suffering, it's time to make a change. I was totally supportive of the choice they had made. So yesterday we were talking about the method I was totally clueless about. They have been reading books to make sure they are doing it the right way if they are going to do it. We got to talking about what to do if your baby throws up from being so distraught. The books says to change the babies clothes and bedding and quickly put them back into the crib without comforting them. This is so wrong to me! I am 29 and still prefer to be comforted and taken care of if and when I puke. Puking is scary. To me that implied that if you comforted your baby after puking, that would be their crutch. If I puke, I get picked up. What a sad thing to think a baby would force itself to puke just to get picked up. Isn't that our job are parents to comfort our kids when they need it? How sad. So when I was talking to my freind yesterday I told her I had a huge problem with that. And at that point I became opinionated bordering on judgemental. I just hope that I didn't cross the line that is our friendship.