Here she is...

Harper Ann
7lbs 10oz 20inches
born 9/21/06 at 2:34pm



Notice the shirt? Um, yeah. You get the picture.

We're Home!

...and with us we brought our new baby Harper. She was born on thursday at 2:34pm totally, I mean totally drug free. I can't wait to tell you all about it! Pedro had his new computer with him and documented the whole thing, with pictures. Check back later today. I'll try to post once the kiddos are both asleep. Thanks for the good vibes.

The Baby that wants to stay in!

Thursday is the day. I am being induced at 7am. I still am not sure about how I feel about the whole thing, but I am really afraid of having a huge baby too. I wanted to do everything as natural as possible, but I know with an induction pain drugs are almost a nessecity. I guess I just need a few hours to wrap my head around the whole thing. I'm very nervous and a little disappointed that this is how things are panning out.

Today I am thankful...

that my baby girl doesn't share a birthday with one of Britney Spears offspring. Thank You God!

It is White Trash Central!

Today after my appt. (where she told me I was ready to be induced) I decided to venture out to pick up a few neccessities. I needed laundry soap and english muffin toasting bread (which I eat for every meal) and other odds and ends. So where do you think I went to get it all? That's right, the store that brings out America's finest, Wal-Mart.

I am over 39 weeks pregnant, my fuse is pretty damn short and I was ready to do some bitch-slappin'. But someone has to be the bigger person in a situation, so today I tried my best to be the better and of course bigger person since I am hugely pregnant. Here is how the situation unfolded...

We are done picking up our few things and are heading to the checkouts. Mason spots a new Thomas movie that comes with a free train. It is a crate that says, Wal-Mart. So now apparently Thomas the Train and Wal-Mart are partnering up, NICE! Mason immediately starts freaking out about the movie, and I am totally unwilling to give in. He squeals a ear piiercing squeal and I am still not budging except for looking for the quickest checkout isle. Unfortunately there were two very old ladies infront of us that were witnesses to the screaming and they stopped and turned around to stare. One of them actually covered her ears and said, "Oh Gosh!" Three feet in front of me, to my face!

Oh no she didn't.

It boiled my blood and I lost it. I looked at the two women and said, "He is a child!" in a not very nice tone. The lady looked back at me and said, "And so is his Mother!"

There were so many things that I wanted to scream back at them, but I bit my tongue. I had pity because they were so old, don't ask me why. I just knew I needed to get the hell out before I went even more hormonal on them.

When Pedro came home for lunch, I sheepishly told him what happened. He said, "Good thing I wasn't with you, I would've said something really shocking." After that, we sat around brainstorming all the awesome things I could've said.

*Look Mason, Halloween brings out all the witches!
*Maybe you just need to turn down your Miracle Ear!
*Mason, I hope you never let me get that old and crotchety.

Again, remind me why I still shop at Wal-Mart?
Bitches.

39 weeks and counting!

I am still here. I am throwing up every morning. I have crazy bad diarrhea when I do finally eat something. It is really not good at all.

I have so many emotions running through me that I am sure are totally normal, but I still am scared to death. How am I going to be able to do this? I know that all the love I have for Mason will still be there. But thinking about it realistically, he will have to take a "back seat" often to the new baby. It kills me to think how much that is going to hurt his feelings. I try to tell myself over and over that it is probably a good thing, we have all been through it, and that it is probably the first real life lessons, but it doesn't help my heart from breaking a little each time I think about it.

Mason has been really hard the past week. He is hitting and defiant and pretty much wakes up telling me to "go-away!" Part of me wonders if he is feeling my insecurities. It is hard already, really hard. So this morning my Dad is working from home and came to get Mason for a couple of hours to give me a break. As much as I want to soak up every last minute I have alone with my baby boy, I just can barely function right now and I am sure Mason is having a whole bunch of fun with his Grandpa.

Who needs some comic relief?

I think my first reaction was, "Is this a joke?" Then I jumped on line and sure enough look for yourself.

Barbie has a pet Tanner and she takes him for walks and he poops just like a real dog. Luckily, Barbie always has her handy dandy pooper scooper with her. Because really, what kind of model citizen would Barbie be if she took Tanner out for walks and left his little nugget poops behind? I'm not sure, but I think the package comes with everything you need, which pheew, good thing! Because who wants to check out at Wal-Mart with accessory poop for Barbie's dog! You think I am kidding, I only wish.

Still Here...

I haven't gone yet, but I have a feeling it may be today or tomorrow. I have been completely pukey for the past 24 hours and can't imagine feeling this flu-ish for the next week. Has anyone else gotten barfy right before having a baby, or is it all in my head? I am so miserable! I can't eat, I slept awful, and I just feel so nauseous. If I don't start to feel a little better later this morning, I am calling my midwife. It is that bad. Wish me luck.

The way over-promised belly shot.

I promised you long enough, so I had to follow through, right? My friend Ms. Mamma came over last night and took a few pictures. She's got mad skillz, yo. Lucky for me she loves to take pictures and is really good at it. She sent me this one late last night, you like?

One more thing, you make fun of my pregnant nose, I kill! I am sensitive that way.

Puffy Lips and Noses.

Seriously, am I the only one who at the end of pregnancy gets a fat nose and puffy lips? Weird, yes. Attractive, no. So on with the updates. Yesterday I saw my midwife who had gave me a full exam and guess what? One centimeter dilated and 50% effaced and straight from her mouth,"The head is way down there." So that explains the shooting pains in my hoo-ha. I am ready to be done and sleep even less than I am now.

For all who were wondering about the dogs wiener, and I know their are a ton of you, Mason has stopped touching it. We may have confused him, but the dogs penis needed a break. Pedro decided to tell him that there was poop on it. So, whenever he touching it Pedro would freak out a little and say, "Gross there is poop on there, quick, lets wash you hands!" And it worked like a charm. He hasn't touched the poopy wiener in over a week.

And last but not least, anyone up for a little contest?
How about a due date and size of Baby Sister.
I need a little encouragement these days. Let the bidding begin...

A week 's gone by...

Today I am 37 weeks. I am full-term and relieved. Last week was rough. My parents who will be taking care of Mason when I have baby sister were in Texas. When my Mom left, she came running back in the house to tell me to keep my legs crossed until they get home,Tuesday which is tomorrow. So now I am happy. The day they left, I was sure I was in labor. I laid on the couch teeth chattering, having contraction after contraction. I was freaked out! Tomorrow I see my mid-wife for a full exam. Then Pedro and I will be having sex every night until this baby comes. Now there is the juice you've been waiting for, right? I'll tell you all about it on Wednesday. Or maybe just a little.

Friday was our 5 year anniversary. We stayed home and had steak and shrimp. Our most low-key anniversary yet, I think I was in bed by 10, alone, eh.

Even though this pregnancy has been easier than with Mason, I still am getting uncomfortable now. I keep having these shooting pains in my hoo-ha, and braxton-hicks all day long. Those things suck! They aren't painful, but they are exhausting and irritating. I feel like I have a basketball in my stomach that is about to shoot out through my skin. Oh, and the stretch marks are back in all their glory. Those pretty, pretty stretch marks! Last week my midwife also told me that she doesn't think this is a huge baby. She thought 7-7.5 full term. Sounds fine to me.

I have so many other things that I have been promising too, pictures of the nursery. My two slings which I can't tell if they fit because of this huge belly in the way. Belly pictures. Anything else I am forgetting? Because I forget a lot these days and my thoughts are pretty scattered, no...

If only there was a get-away car.

Part 1
Today was one of those days. Ugh. The day started out before Pedro left for work, Thank God. I am all about letting the child lead as far as potty training, but this boy of mine needs to be TRAINED. His new thing, each morning is,
"Here comes big poop!"
Then I chime in as quickly as a I can,
"Ok Quick, lets go on Dada's potty!"
"No Thanks."
"Mason, if you go poop on the potty, we'll go to the store and you can get a new truck, or motorcycle..."
"Or train..." Pedro chimes in.
But no, the boy proceeds to poop himself and asks to be changed immediately following.
Now, multiply that times 6. Oh no, I am not exaggerating. We had 6 poopie diapers today. Pedro only was home for one of them.

Part 2
Next, have I mentioned my sons obsession with the poor dogs penis? It is absolutely an obsession that I am almost too embarrassed to talk about. If the dog is resting peacefully, Mason is strategizing his way to get to Otto's dog-hood. The problem is the dog is so passive, he practically opens his legs up for Mason. It is all very sick and wrong, I know. The problem is I don't see it every time. When I do, I stop it immediately. Today he did it once, I threatened a time out. Second time, he got a time out. Yet the problem got worse. I was removing him from his timeout spot, explaining that we never touch Otto's peepee because it hurts him. Just then the dog walks over to us during our little heart to heart and Mason reaches underneath Otto looking for his penis and pets it ever so gently, "Nice Otto's Peepee."
God help me, my point is not getting across. Then he asks "I kiss Otto's Peepee?"
"Ah, No (in a horrified half yell)! We don't ever touch his Peepee."
I wish I were exaggerating, God, I wish I were making this up, but I am not. Just tell me my son is starting to be very in tune with his penis (and the dogs) because he is starting to potty train. That would make me feel so much better.

Part 3
Then there was the hitting, the constant yelling, "Mama go way!" and the never ending meltdowns. I can assure you one thing. Had a not been pregnant, I'd be drunk as hell right now. It was a day that bad!

What being a parent is all about...

I had no intentions of writing a post like this today, but I just read the most touching post ever! If you have a minute please read it. I had to wipe more than one tear away while reading, just so you know...in a good way.

Links.

I have decided that my links need to be updated, bad. Some of the sites I look at, I have to surf to other sites to get there off their links. I think I've found some good ones to update, but I am always open to others to check out. Let me know if you know of any blogs I HAVE TO READ! Thanks.

You bought a wha...

I've been married to Pedro now for nearly five years. Still, I figure more out about him each day. Yesterday, I bopped upstairs to see what he was doing on the computer and saw a screen that said, "Thank you for your purchase."

"Uh...what did you just buy?"
"A new computer."
"Why? Our computer is fine."

It is too late. He bought a new Apple Powerbook, I think. Whatever. I don't have the energy to fight these days. We've had these issues before, remember?

Next, for the past couple of days, he's been talking about his blog. I thought he was just poking fun at my past-time, but last night he showed me his. My husband has a blog. Nice. So I guess this would be the time to tell him that I bought an expensive impractical...something. But I didn't. I am too practical.

Today I am 35 weeks pregnant. I am a little over a week farther than I made it with Mason. What a relief. Tomorrow I see my midwife who starts working at a new clinic. I also have an exam to see if I am at all dialated or effaced. Exciting stuff!

Guilty Skeletons

I am not sure which is worse, being ashamed about the way you feel about someone in your family or the way that person in your family acts. This weekend was my shower. It was wonderful. It was nice and small and made me excited all over to be a Mama to a new baby girl. Except there is always something looming over head. The way someone in my family will act.
First, no one has talked to this person in 3 days, meaning she isn't and hasn't been sober. So, will she even show up.
Next, once she walks through the door, the drama starts. Oh, the drama. I am not sure my family would know what to do without the drama.
Then the inappropriate, attention getting comments, stories that never end.

I know I used to be an extrovert. A definite extrovert, but over the past 5 years I have changed a lot. I have become comfortable with who I am and I don't feel like I need to start every conversation or always have the focus on me. In fact, I like to listen a lot. I don't like to always talk about me. I am a person though and like all people, I like to have relationships of all sorts. The problem is a relationship no matter who it's with is always about give and take. I have given and given, and dropped things that were happening in my own family to try to help out and now, I AM TIRED. I have given for too long and really have never received anything in return except anxiety. As awful as that sounds it is reality and sometimes reality bites!
At my shower, conversations were interrupted so this person could tell me about the new man in her life. Except, I have been hearing about this man for the past month she has been dating him, she just doesn't remember. I heard about other family issues that were discussed on the phone just three days before which only led me to believe that she was drunk during the phone conversation too. All of which was made the focus of my shower. Embarrassing and Exhausting!
I wish I knew the next steps to take but I don't. At this point I just feel like I am tired of it all. I don't have a perfect life, but I am usually pretty happy and optimistic about the way my life is going. But, I too have challenges. I have a perfectly naughty 2.5 year old who most days requires every bit of my patience. I have a husband who I am very lucky to have but like most of you know, making a marriage work takes a lot of effort too. And I happen to want to be married forever. I have a new baby on the way that I know is going to overwhelm me, but I am trying to mentally prepare. And I have friends, really good friends that I want to be there for just like they are for me. I don't have the time or energy to take on additional drama that only brings me down. I am tired of the lies, tired of the excuses, and tired of the selfishness.

So what is next? I am not ready to cut this person out of my life, but I can't take the drama anymore. Even if she is my sister.

Nothing to say...

It has been a boring week. I have really nothing to talk about, except that I haven't left my house. I am getting to the point where I walk a few feet and I am pooped. Or, even better, I walk a few feet get kicked in the bladder and feel like I am about to wet myself. I run to the nearest bathroom to relieve myself only to release about 3 dribbles. Too much info? Sorry ladies it is all I have to talk about these days.

Other than that, the county fair is going on right now. As much as I love how close my house is to a very nice park, I hate the "fair week" each summer. My uncle describes it well,
"People come out of the woodwork. They save up their money all year to spend at the fair on rock band mirrors and oversized stuffed animals."
You'd have to really see these toothless folk to understand.

I am having a baby shower on Sunday. My mom is having it at her house for me. I never got to have on for Mason since he was so early. The day my Mom was dropping off the invites at the post office, I dropped my water. Ironic, no?

Enough snark from me, I'll try to post some pictures of the belly and the shower.

I'm still here...

I'm just in the midst of spontaniously combusting! It is fricking hot here. Today it is supposed to be 101. I know it is hot everywhere right now, but Friday night I couldn't help but curse a little when it was 96 in Wisconsin and 88 in Miami, Florida. I am sure it doesn't help that my big pregnant body doesn't handle the heat well.

Today I am 33 weeks. One week from today. I had Mason. God, does that freak me out. I keep reminding myself how different everything is this time. I was really swollen already with Mason and it was December. This time my wedding ring still fits! The next time I see my midwife will be the 15th, the day she starts at a new clinic. I think I am her first patient.

This weekend we painted baby sisters room, BLUE! Yes, I know. I have to admit though too much pink gets a tad nauseating and makes me think of Pepto-Bismol, so I wanted to counter act. We bought the bedding and it came last week. It is pretty colorful, so I wanted the walls to be kind of plain. Yes that is coming from a person who has an olive green dining room, a terricotta living room and an avocado little boys room! So I am home today, trying not to melt.

Ice Cream! I hear it does wonders for hot, pregnant, crabby ladies!?

Busy performing exorcism.

My son has been a nightmare. If it isn't pinching it's throwing toys. If it isn't pulling the dog around by his poor weiner, it is kicking him. I am scared for my unborn childs life!
This weekend a few friends, Mason and I went to a "crunch" festival. Honestly, the hippies put me to shame. They were completely oblivious to the dirt under their nails and the smell they were emitting from their pits. I wasn't. Total wannabee I guess, or maybe not. I had to go to my "happy place" to eat the food they had prepared me with those hands.
The highlight of the trip was the blueberry picking. Since Mason loves all things fruit I thought he'd love an all-you-care-to-eat buffet of blueberries. He did, but then got bored. He wandered over to two little girls probably 3 and 4 who were watching their little brother, probably 4 months, who was strapped into a bouncy seat while their Mom picked berries. I watched Mason out of the corner of my eye and finally decided I didn't trust him around the baby. As I walked over to get my son who had a twinkle of the devil in his eye, he reached down to the bottom of the bouncy seat and flipped it over. Yep, with the baby it. I was so angry and embarrassed it took every bit of patience I own to not beat my son. I am sure I made I small scene when I got in his face and screamed, "What are you doing!" at the top of my lungs. But atleast it didn't get CPS called on my ass. I waited for the mother hen to come over then and ream me, but it never happened. She is a way better person than I.
That night I couldn't do it anymore. Mason does things everyday that make me angry, but this had topped the cake. I had flashes of having a new baby girl and my son hurting her with no remorse. It was awful and I couldn't get it out of my head. When I got home, nearly in tears, I had Pedro take over, for the rest of the night. By the next morning I was better, but still I haven't gotten the fear out of me about this new baby and how she'll be treated by her brother.

The Boob Saga - part 645,379

Take two. I wrote this big long post this morning and had it all spell-checked and everything. When I clicked publish it went to a 'unavailable at this time' page. Once I clicked the back arrow, Poof it was gone into internet never,neverland! So this is my second attempt.

Since I've decided to let Mason continue to nurse throughout the pregnancy, it has not been all pleasant. In fact, I've found myself irritated pretty often.

Around 4 months pregnant, the pain started. I mean pain, like the kind that makes you scrunch your face up and curl your toes, pain. But I pushed through to the next stage. The absence of milk stage. This stage lasted for about 2 months. I am sure Mason was getting almost nothing, I couldn't even squeeze a drop out. The hardest part about this stage is the extreme sucking that went along with the milk shortage. Mason would suck so hard trying to get milk out that I was sure when he finally let loose my nipple would be a freakish 5 inch nipple. Thank god they resume their natural state after a few minutes! Then there was the night Mason commented that it "tastes yucky!" I thought this may have been the end only to have ask for it the next day.

Now my supply has come back, but I have found myself so not "into" nursing. Why have I decided not to wean? A few reasons, but mainly because Mason will not take a nap without nursing. Bedtime Mike can do, but naptime is non-existent without me nursing him. And when I do, it takes around 5 minutes of nursing to have him out-cold for 3 hours. Seems simple enough to me, and I know I'll be needing those three blissful hours a whole lot once Baby Sister comes.

Every once in a while something amazing comes out of Masons mouth that confirms the decision I've made to continue. A few weeks ago after a bedtime nursing he said in the sweetest voice, "mmmm, tastes good." Then off to sleep he went. This may sound weird to someone who hasn't nursed, but it is an amazing feeling to know that you are doing something so simple and natural and being appreciated for doing it. It is a hard thing to explain. Monday night was one of those nights that my heart just wasn't into it. I had let Mason nurse for about three minutes then told him we were all done. As I layed him into his crib, he said "Thank You Mama." It made my heart hurt. I felt awful and amazing all at once. "How could I be rushing something that is still so important to my son?" And "How awesome that I've let him decide when he wants to end our nursing relationship." It was very bittersweet and I wish I could put it into words better.

So there you have it. For now, I am putting aside my pregnancy hormones for my little nursing toddler. I still think that when he is done he'll be sure to let me know. For now I am willing to give him what is still very important to him, he doesn't ask for much.