Adjusting Boobies: One crack at a time.

My body! It is failing me! Promise me you won't think I am a crazy hypochondriac when I tell you this- It is that weird.

Two weeks ago I woke up with a weird crick on the left side of my neck. Those suck, yes? We've all had them but usually by the next morning you feel fine and forgot it ever hurt. Not this time. After this crick had been present for two days I noticed a new soreness down around my shoulder blade. It was getting worse and now I had two sore spots, yay! About 5 days ago, I noticed the skin on my left arm was sore to the touch. A very strange kind of sore, like a localized body ache. Then I noticed It was very uncomfortable to brush my hair, only on the left side of my head. All this happening on the left side of my body. It has become unbearable. If I want to go for a walk, I need to plan accordingly and take 2 Advil 2 hours before, otherwise it is all too painful.

I've decided it is time for me to visit a Chiropractor. I am a little nervous. This person is going to be cracking and popping my spine and neck. I've gone before. I was a freshman in high school and had an important track meet coming up. A few days before, I was in gym class and we were in the gymnastics unit. The overgrown Mary Lou Retton in me decided to bounce into a dive roll. I'm not sure I bounced though. I think it was more of a splat then a crunch and my neck was totally effed. My parents took me to a Chiropractor that went to our church. I think he helped my neck, I don't really remember. What I do remember is how strange I thought it was that he felt my boobs. Now maybe I was over-analyzing but still I told my parents. My dad came with me on my next visit and what do you know, no boob adjustment. Just strange and inappropriate. Thankfully is wasn't young enough to feel traumatized by the quack.

I start Friday. I want to feel good again. I want to start running. I want to not hurt. Dude just better stay away from my boobies.

Show your slings!

Steph over at Adventures in Babywearing is having another little cyber-party. This time she's asking others to show their slings. I have 6 but one that blows all the others away.

My Babyhawk.


Oh, how I love her. She's so pretty. Mine is two sided one side with skulls, the other with hula girls, all with cherry trim. She is very well-made and sturdy. And the coolest part that I never anticipated was that my husband loved her almost as much as I did. Had I known, I would've picked one side to be a little more masculine. But he rocked her anyway!

After 3 years...

who knew I had it in me? I did this new design all by myself! How 'bout them apples?

Essence of Another Man.

Are you watching Dancing with the Stars? I'm not, but last night as I was tying my running shoes to take the dog for a walk, the TV happened to be on that channel.

Oh Sweet Jesus. Can we just have a moment of silence for the perfection of Jason Taylor? He makes me salivate. I don't care what kind of men make you swoon; If he doesn't, I may have to check and make sure you have a beating heart. That man is all sorts of beautiful.

Now. Can I tell you how I once had his sweat on my body?

Why don't you go get a big icy glass of water or lemonade. This may take a while and I wouldn't want you to overheat. *wink, wink*

You may of may not know that about 5 years ago Pedro and I were living in Florida. We lived in Fort Lauderdale the next city over was Davie-where JT resides. We only lived there for a year but we had a lot of fun in that short time. While we were there we both belonged to a big name gym. I did a typical chick workout of either aerobics or the elliptical and on a really ambitious day maybe some light weights. Pedro would usually lift weights and then play basketball on one of the courts. A few times Pedro played with Jason Taylor. For the record, Pedro is 6-6 and what do you know? Jason Taylor is 6-6. They played against each other. You know what that means...all kinds of bumping and grinding in the most masculine way, of course. My husband and Jason Taylor.

So that night as we drove home from the gym, I am pretty sure I tried to rub all the leftover sweat off of Pedro thinking that there just might be a drop of JT mixed in.* Then I asked him if JT smelled good. He didn't answer. He only gave me a look that said I was completely out of my mind.**

Jason can do that to a girl.




*only slight exaggeration!

**honest to God truth!

A Picnic Is No Picnic.

I couldn't handle looking at that last post anymore, so today we had a picnic. We planned it just right so Pedro could join us for lunch. Sheesh! You almost forget how much work it is to prepare. A Ton! From the time I woke up this morning I went to work prepping for the afternoon.

I baked bread, my new obsession.

I made my favorite salad.

I made sandwiches, ran to the grocery store to get drinks and dessert,and we were off just three and a half hours later!

We got to the park and Mason was already starving. He'd play for a few minutes and then run back to grab a bite.

Pedro drove in a few minutes later. He ran around with the kids to keep warm since it was freezing.

We ate, played


played some more.

And then we were all headed out. Pedro back to work and us back home for naps.


It was all good fun, but next time? I am totally going to Subway.

*if you'd like to see more picnic photos you can see them all here.

Mother's Day.

I wish I could say my mother's day was a happy one, and there were happy moments, but the day weighed heavy on me. I wish I could write that my mom and I spent the day together having lunch and manicures, talking and laughing until we cried. The truth is that I didn't even see her. The lady she's been lately is not the mom I know. The lady today is cursed with addiction so thick she can't see her way out. She forgets, she glares and rarely calls. She is not the mom I had growing up. The mom I had growing up was loving and energetic and wouldn't miss any activity I was in for the world. She was always there.

Today, as much as I wished is was like it was before addiction, it's not. It is so different I can't even begin to explain. Thankfully though I have memories. And the memories I have are great. Nearly perfect. I remember tiny little things that were so special. I remember taking afternoon naps on my parents bed. I remember my mom laying with me jiggling her foot just enough to rock the bed and lull me to sleep. I remember the notes in my lunch box and the Mickey Mouse pancakes. The tiniest things that left an incredible mark.

I look at my kids that I love more than anything and wonder and worry about the marks I'll leave with them. I do things I hope they never remember and also things hopefully never forget. But mostly, I hope they know that I'll always be there for them. Tonight after a long, emotional day I nursed Harper to sleep and tucked Mason in one last time. I told him how much I loved him and how I hoped we had a better day tomorrow, all while his little boy hand sweetly rubbed my cheek; a perfect end to the day.

As much as I wish my day could have been filled with all things bright and cheery. It wasn't . It was however a perfect recap of what being a mama is all about. There was dancing and crying and pouting and smiling. Nursing and rocking and snuggling and soothing. And at the end of the day, I wouldn't change it for the world. Taking the bad with the good; It's what being a Mama is all about.

Out with the Bad, In with the Good.

Wow. It sure is nice to know that so many of you have my back. Frankly, I am done. Just done. This is what I've decided. As much as I'd like to tell her what I really think of all the awful things she's said to me. I have decided to not waste one more minute on her. I will not go out of my way to be mean to her nor will I be nice. I am done. It may be awkward in the summer when we have friends over in the backyard that is shared with hers and I don't invite her to be a part, but enough is enough. I'd like to retaliate in a way that would sting but that would only make me feel worse. That is not the kind of person I want to be (although it may come to that one day). I small (very, very small) part of me actually feels sorry for her. What a way to live your life, so negatively, so toxic. That's for her to figure out though. Not me. My hands are washed clean of her.

This whole thing got me thinking about what I can do to be a happier person. I am not sad or depressed but I'd really like to be as happy as possible. So last week, while the kids napped, I jotted down a list. A "to do" list to be a happier me.

Here is the list (as Pedro recoils into a corner from embarrassment):


-eliminate toxic relationships.

-make exercise a priority.

-have kinkier sex, more often.

-reduce house clutter.

-finish started projects.

Oh stop it. You know you feel happier when you are having crazy sexy-time more frequently. It's good for the soul or something...

This weekend we officially finished our playroom a project that was drawn out for ages. It is crisp and clean and hopefully the kids will trash that room instead of every other room in the house. You know why? Because it has a door and I can close that door and not think about it.

I also got all three bedrooms spring cleaned this weekend. I no longer need to have dreams about the dust bunny colony under my bed, because it is gone and replaced with the fresh scent of lemon Lysol.

About damn time.

Love Thy Neighbor. *EDITED*

I've tried, and I just can't. My neighbor who moved into "button" I've decided is one of those people who puts other people down to make herself feel better. I've let the rude and sometimes just plain mean comments slide but I fear the bite I have on my tongue is about to release. You think I am exaggerating?

Listen to this.

Harper and I were at her house one night and Harper closed her TV armoire. She told Harper to open it back up and as I got up to do it myself, I commented that Harper only followed directions occasionally and that I wasn't even sure she had the concept of open/close.

Her reply: You stay home with her. That is your "job" to teach her that stuff.

Me: She just turned one, she's fine.

Her: My son had a favorite color and could say pur-ple at 9 months.

Clearly she is a better mother.

Then there is this.

We grill-out often. This one night we were grilling a pork tenderloin. She was commenting that it smelled good and I told her we cooked them pretty often since the kids loved them and they were healthy.

Her: Healthy? Pork is like the worst thing you can eat. No one who is really health-conscious eats pork.

Geez. Why did I go the school again when I could just learn everything about health from my totally uneducated neighbor.

On another occasion she preached to Pedro about how we "eat meat in all its murderous forms". Uh, abrasive maybe?

Today she was talking down to me and I finally just looked the other way and said something to my kids. I was ready to literally say, "It must be hard to be so perfect." But I didn't because I don't want to be a bitch.

Seriously how can you treat people like that and still feel good about yourself?

So I need some help. How can I let her know that she is totally offending me? Apparently she is not catching onto my body language. I need it to stop before I unleash and it's not going to be pretty. But Mama can only take so much.

**edited to add- I feel like you won't get the true beauty of "her" if I failed to mention this one...

Her: Pedro leaves at really strange times at night.

Me: He goes to the gym some weeknights after the kids go to bed.

Her: Are you sure he's not cheating...I'm just saying.

OH YES SHE DID. Now can I tell her to eff off?

Day at the park!

I promise to tell you all about Mexico but first... How cute is she?

Home Sweet Home

Hot damn it feels good to be home. I've got stories to tell but unfortunately laundry and my sick boy come first.

18 (mo.) Going On 36 (D)

There are a few things I hope that Harper doesn't inherit from me. Two things in particular.

You Picked 'Em!

Filler

Great questions you guys. I'm nervous already about video blogging, but I am not backing out! Some of them I have to modify because I think I'll be using the Mac to record and not a video recorder so I can't be moving all over. But we'll see...

I finally got my glasses that you all voted on. I'll post the picture tomorrow of the winners.

But first! My kids got some spring pictures taken. I just threw them all into a montage so you can check them out if you'd like. I am still partial to outdoor pictures but 8 feet of snow does not a good photo make! I definately have a few favorites that I am sure you'll be able to spot immediately.

Enjoy!

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

It's Ground-Breaking, Yo!

I have this idea. This crazy, crazy idea that I'll porbably be kicking myself for in a couple of days. But here it is.

But first, is blogging fizzing out? A bunch of my favorite bloggers have decided to call it quits and although I understand, it makes me sad. I'd be lying if I said I was totally gung-ho about blogging these days because the truth is, sometimes it feels like more of a chore to write these days.

So.

I've decided to spice things up. You know, kind of like wearing crotch-less panties on your 34th wedding anniversary. Really spicy.

Here's the scoop. Give me a topic. A question. Anything. And I am going to video blog it LIVE (but recorded). I am hesitant to even give examples because I don't want to narrow the playing field. But is there a question that you've asked me that I haven't answered? Do you just want to hear the midwestern twang in my voice? I'm game.

Hit me with your best shot- Fire away!

Om.

Oh my God, oh my God, Oh. My. God. Usually if I write a "poor me" post that seems the slightest bit as if I am fishing for reassurance I just turn off the comments. Because "Wah, Poor Me" is just annoying. Well boys and girls, this time I need it. I need assurance that things are going to work out. Because, Oh my God.

We are going to Mexico, right? We leave in 13 days. Harper and I both got our passports within 2 weeks. At the end of the week we received ours I started mentioning to Pedro that he should track his and check the status of Masons and his own. He did and was just given the genaric, "being processed". That was good enough for us, we still had 3 weeks. Fast forward to yesterday, we got two letters in the mail. Not a good sign. The passport photos for the two boys were unacceptable. Holy shit. I went ape.

Are you kidding me? You pay someone a fee assuming they are trained in how to take a photo that meets all the requiremnets of the picky passport office. You pay another fee to have them processed, which to me means they proofread your application and make sure all the " i's are dotted and the t's are crossed', right? Apparently not. This morning we went back to the location where we got them and gave them the letters. Pedro specifially wanted me to come along to make sure "things got done". We got there and the same guy who took our photos was working and he felt horrible. He wanted to pay for our Overnight fee to have the new pictures sent back in. It was coming out of his own pocket. Pedro declined and we were on our own.

Pedro called the passport office again to double and triple check what needed to be sent in. They said the two passport were at the last stages of processing when they caught the error, so hopefully they will just be picked up where they left off. Hopefully.

Have you guys ever heard of this happening? We're going to get to go, right? Holy shit, where is my paper bag. I am getting myself all worked up again...

All the chocolate you can handle!

We stayed up late last night getting the easter baskets ready for the kids. Doing these things always is a little reality check that confirms, "Whoa. I'm an adult." It wasn't long ago that the Easter Bunny stopped coming to my parents house for my brother and me. I was in college, coming home to spend Easter with my family and the Easter bunny still was hiding eggs and chocolate for me to find around my parents house. I think once I started having kids, they got the focus but I still get some sort of chocolate.

This morning when the kids woke up, both Mike and I got up to watch the kids discover their baskets. Harper was a little off. Within an hour she was snuggled up to her Dada and before long, she was out like a light. My poor girl.



We headed over to my sister's house for Easter Brunch. Harper just clung to Mike and before long she was gagging and up-throwing. It was a super quick brunch! We headed home hopefully before we contaminated the rest of the people there. I spent the rest of the day holding a sick baby girl and having a quiet day with my little family.

Spring, sprang, sprung.

Guess what? It was almost spring here! But then it snowed again, and again, and again.

Last week it was so nice. The sun was shining and the snow was melting and the days were longer. Pedro would get home from work and I'd head out the door for my mega walk. It sounds all cheesy but I'd turn on my ipod and start out for my walk and there was a renewed spring in my step.

But then the snow came and it got cold again and we reverted back to being couped like chickens.

I keep telling myself that spring is right around the corner and then we can live again. Until then. The passports trickling in are all that are keeping me going. That and margaritas.

Smart? I think not.

There is one thing that I pride myself on, I don't feed my kids hotdogs, ever. Never have, never will. It's not really a snobbish thing at all. I do damage in other ways like letting them eat sugary cereals, too many processed foods and having the TV on way too much. Oh yeah, and bathing them in Purell. But by God, I'll never intentionally feed them lips and assholes. I try to not be crazy about it. Mason has definately had a few in his life. Usually, going to some child friendly event means hotdogs for kids, so if Mason wants to eat a hotdog, he eats a hotdog and I don't think much about it.

I few weeks ago I came across this idea. Really, does it get any cuter? I knew it was something I wanted to make for my kids. So today we went to the store and picked up some hotdogs. Because I hate to break a tradition, I wouldn't buy hot dogs or even turkey dogs. Instead I bought Smart Dogs. Boy, if that wasn't the dumbest thing ever. I eat plenty of meat substitutes. But these? These were hideous.

I plated them up all cute on a plate of cheesy noodles. Mason beamed when he saw it. It was adorable just like I hoped. He dug right in and once he took a bite of the octopus, the record screeched. He had a look of horror and he was done eating. I tasted a bite of the meat scented gelatin and It was pretty bad. I offered it to our chubby little pug and he backed up like he was being assaulted.

It was a four dollar waste, but you know what? I could really eat a hot dog with relish on it right now. What can I say, every now and then you've gotta indulge right? Does anyone smell a hypocrit?

The Perfect Medicine.

Lately, I feel like our little family is just functioning. It's not bad, but it's not feeling good either. I've got "stuff" going on in my family and Pedro's got "stuff" going on at work and although these things shouldn't effect our family and things that go on in our house, they do. They effect everything. Yesterday I talked to Pedro about the way I was feeling and he agreed. We just needed someway to leave everthing behind and focus on what matters most, each other.

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When I was in labor with Harper and things were getting really hard, I did something that I hadn't planned on doing. I did a whole bunch of guided imagery. Let me clarify. I sort of did plan on doing it, but once I was in the peak of pain, my body and my brain did it's own thing. It was strange and remarkable all at the same time. I would close my eyes and I would instantly visualize a family of four walking on the beach. The fourth person was a little blonde girl whom I hadn't met yet. It was like it was a tiny clip of a movie that just kept replaying over and over. It was so peaceful and beautiful.

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Yesterday we all applied for our passports and later last night we booked an all-inclusive vacation to Mexico. On April 11th, the four of us will get on a plane and fly to Cancun Mexico. Hopefully, it will give all of us the break from reality we desprately need. This time with the little girl of my dreams.

Loose Ends.

Guess what tonight is? Girl's night out! Woot!
Actually I am just meeting up with a friend from high school and we are having dinner. We just reunited a couple of weeks ago and before that, it had been at least 7 years. When we saw each other it was just like it was in high school. I love friends like that! She lives a few hours away but spends the weekdays here finishing up her last Midwifery clinical. We always have tons to talk about! She even answers my totally lame questions, like *how many people really do poop while pushing? Always exciting talk!

I've been neglecting my blog, yes? I can't help it. I am obsessed here and it is so easy to just throw out a little though throughout the day. If you haven't joined yet, you really should. You won't be disappointed.

You guys have really thrown me with your choices for my glasses. The first day I was certain I'd be ordering the tortoise ones and now the last 6 votes have been for the white cat-eye ones. Between email votes and text messages on my phone. The contest stands at 10 : 8. THe tortoise taking a very small lead. So now I am really thrown for a loop! I still need to hear from a few important souls...*cough* Jill, Stacey, Krissy, Pedro, *cough*
Get on it kids!

Besides that? We are just chillin' here, waiting for summer. What have you been up to?




*A LOT to Most! Thank you Jesus.