My not so baby boy.

I think Mason is weaning. In fact, I know he is. In the past week I have nursed him twice. It is such a strange feeling I have about all this. Do I feel like I have nursed him long enough? Absolutely. Do I hate to think about my baby being less of a baby and more of a boy. Absolutely. It is so bittersweet to watch him grow into this little person with an amazing personality that no longer "needs" me to make it through the day. Part of me feels incredibly selfish to even have the slightest bit of sadness but at the same time I am so ready to be done. The boy is 3. And also, the boy is 3! What a great thing that we were able to have this relationship for such a long time. I think I have said it a thousand times, to anyone who will listen but... I've never heard anyone say that they nursed too long, but I've heard dozens of women say that wished they had nursed longer. So now that I am at the end of the road with Mason, I can honestly say...


I wouldn't have done it any different.

Everyone Loves A MILF!

I got tired, in a different way. Tired of blaming the "baby weight" for feeling not so pretty. It may or may not have been from having my babies, but it began to be totally irrelivant. I wanted the flab gone and decided to finally do something about it.

I joined Weight Watchers.

The number of points I got was huge. Most people in Weight Watchers get 20 something points and I got in the upper 30's. All for the love of my boobs. (I haven't talked about my boobs enough lately and they are beginning to feel left out.) Seriously though, if you are a nursing mom you get an extra 12 points a day. I have found that those 12 points convert to an extra well balanced meal or supersizing (hehe, adios McDonald's) a portion of something at everymeal. If I can still eat a whole bunch of food and still lose weight, why wasn't I losing weight before Weight Watchers? I even have a Bachelors of Science degree in this stuff. I was in a rut. A huge eat whatever and whenever I wanted rut.

The first day, I was obsessed. I couldn't stop thinking about how bad I wanted to dive into the Tostitos on top of the pantry, or the ice cream in the freezer. I felt miserable. The second day it got easier and I stocked our fridge with fresh fruits and veggies and whole grain rice and couscous . Now I can eat a whole bunch of food, if I just eat the right stuff. I can literally snack all day if I do it wisely. It is not uncommon for me to eat an apple, banana and grapefruit everyday, for snacks. Which, DUH! I should have been doing anyway!

Last Thursday was my first weigh-in and I lost 4.6 lbs. In one week! Tomorrow I weigh-in again. I will keep you posted but I will not reveal my weight like a lot of brave souls do. . .I am a coward like that. Don't worry though, I still am very open about other things like my huge mass milk producing missiles. Or we can talk about the side effects of a high-fiber diet, GAS! Or how my 3 year old walks around the house singing, "Mama's got...hhhhhot farts!" He sings it in the sweetest tone you'd never now he was singing about something so crude. See, I told you I was open.

*FYI - Harper slept decent last night, up only twice and still sleeping at 9:10 am. She is totally healthy so all I can chalk it up to is a growth spurt. And geeze, she's really big already!

Put me out of my misery, PLEASE!

First things first. I bragged way too much about what a great sleeper Miss Harper was. The key word "was". But really she was for three and a half months and now she is getting up no less than 3 times per night. To some people that is actually a good night, but I was spoiled with her only getting up once a night from the day I brought her home. So needless to say, I am tired, very tired and achey, and tired.
I do have a bunch of things in the works though:

* A vacation in the works, to some place warm.

* A car crashing into my parents house in the middle of the night.

*I joined Weight Watchers and am going to be a MILF before you know it.

*Two very cool baby items I just bought and want to tell you all about.

But for now, this will have to do, because did I mention I'm tired?

Don't hate me because I'm naughty.

My fine is...$495.60

I guess I was a naughty girl at one time. This one is really fun, play along...
What's your raunch factor? Let's put a dollar value on that!

Here’s how it works:
You don’t have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine. And NO, it is not PER incident (otherwise, some of us would have totals more than the national debt!).

Bring up that calculator, and get going!

* Smoked pot — $10
* Did acid — $5
* Ever had sex at church — $25
* Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you — $40
* Had sex with someone on MySpace — $25
* Had sex for money — $100
* Vandalized something — $20
* Had sex on your parents’ bed — $10
* Beat up someone — $20
* Been jumped — $10
* Crossed dressed — $10
* Given money to stripper — $25
* Been in love with a stripper — $20
* Kissed some one who’s name you didn’t know — $0.10
* Hit on some one of the same sex while at work — $15
* Ever drive drunk — $20
* Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk — $50
* Used toys while having sex — $30
* Got drunk, passed out and don’t remember the night before — $20
* Went skinny dipping — $5
* Had sex in a pool — $20
* Kissed someone of the same sex — $10
* Had sex with someone of the same sex — $20
* Cheated on your significant other — $10
* Masturbated — $10
* Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend — $20
* Done oral — $5
* Got oral — $5
* Done / got oral in a car while it was moving — $25
* Stole something — $10
* Had sex with someone in jail — $25
* Made a nasty home video — $15
* Had a threesome — $50
* Had sex in the wild — $20
* Been in the same room while someone was having sex — $25
* Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars — $20
* Had sex with someone 10 years older — $20
* Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 — $25
* Been in love with two people or more at the same time — $50
* Said you love someone but didn’t mean it — $25
* Went streaking — $5*
Went streaking in broad daylight — $15
* Been arrested — $5
* Spent time in jail — $15
* Peed in the pool — $0.50
* Played spin the bottle — $5
* Done something you regret — $20
* Had sex with your best friend — $20
* Had sex with someone you work with at work — $25
* Had anal sex — $80
* Lied to your mate — $5
* Lied to your mate about the sex being good — $25

Seriously, how did my number get so high? I swear I have never had sex for money, but that's all I'm sayin'.
Tally it up and Title it…"My Fine Is…"
Do it, you just might shock yourself. Then, let me know so I can check yours out and I don't have to feel so naughty all by my lonesome. Chop, chop...

Happy Happy Harper!

This girl, I swear if she isn't tired or sleeping, she's smiling!



She's so pretty. I'm keeping her.

psssst! You haven't delurked yet have you? Yes you! I know who you are. See that number when you scroll down as far as you can? That means I know who you are and you should stop in and say hi! I'm nice, really!

I love me some stuff...

I am a phase kind of girl. I go through these strange phases with everything in my life. For six months I'll drink the same Starbucks drink then something will catch my eye, I'll try it and that will be my new fave. There was also a Gatorade in there somewhere.

The same for products. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by smells. I get tired of everything having a scent. Really, think about it. You take a shower. You use shampoo, conditioner, soap for my pits and girly stuff, then body wash. You get out, dry off, apply deodorant, slather on the lotion and probably apply some styling product. Then you finish with a spray of something, cologne, perfume, whatever. Hello! How many smells?

So I go all anti-smells sometimes and do unscented everything. Other times I am obsessed with finding a new perfume. My point? Yeah right, my point. I thought it might be fun to tell you all the stuff I am really "into" at this particular moment. Don't hold me to this tomorrow ...

1) All Natural Chapstick- It is light on you lips but has this amazing sweetish buttery smell. I was slathering it on in the car and told my husband "I'd bathe in it if I could." He gave me this look, the same one he gave me when I told him I liked to pretend that Jason Mraz was singing to me whenever I heard the song "You and I both." (I still love that song too, so there.)

2) Buttermilk Bath Soak- It smells so good but doesn't leave you smelling crazy strong. I got two pints for Christmas and one is half gone. I love a bath before bed.

3) Sensual Amber- Ok, this probably is strange, because Bath and Body stuff is usually just too sweet and too smelly, but this reminds me of my favorite sexy perfume, Chance. I love that perfume but it is so rich smelling, I only wear it when I am going out and dressed up. Two things that rarely happen and almost never happen together. So when I smelled Sensual Amber I loved that it was a lotion that I didn't feel strange wearing at home in yoga pants, carrying a baby on my hip.

4) Mint Mojito Orbit- this gum is delish and helps keep your teeth feeling sqeaky clean. Just don't get in the tub after a two year loses his gum in it!

So that's enough for today. Maybe I'll continue with my essential baby stuff next. Oh and for those of you wondering about my favorite Starbucks drink right now, and I know you were. Iced Passion Tea. I am trying to lighten up on the caffeine for the sake of my baby girl. She prefers non-coffee flavored boobie milk.

Just one more thing. It is De-lurking week, so stop in and say Hi! Holla!

Where the hell is my helmet?

You know those days you think you'd be better off locked in a room with padded walls. It's one of those...

Alternate Title:
Child for Sale Cute as a button, Wild as a Dingo!

And I wonder about baby weight...

Today Pedro came home for lunch bringing the whole fam McDonald's. We were all sitting at the table indulging on our gourmet food and I was telling Pedro how I again today had to apologize to Mason for being grouchy. Sometimes I feel like such a rag of a Mom, I hate it! Any way we were talking about this and Mason interrupts with a formal introduction.
"Dada, This is my friend Mama." pointing at me and being so completely serious. That kid. He makes me want to be a better person.

Photo Blog Yo !

I am trying to learn to like our Mac, but it is pretty foreign.

Today I played around with photo booth. It was pretty exciting!


Then we got ca-raaaazy!


Then I got some sugar!


Then I got very serious!


It was time for me to be a Mom(and to look a little cross eyed apparently)!


And finally I got the urge...

...strange, very strange. I know.

What a difference a year makes.

Every once in a while I get these huge reality doses that strike me so hard in the chest it's a wonder I am still breathing. This one happened exactly one year ago. It was one irresponsible night. A night my husband and I acted like carefree teenagers. The night that Harper was conceived.

It is so clear for some reason and I am not sure why. I knew the timing was right on schedule and I worried immediately. Then I blocked it out, for 7 weeks. My friend even called about a week after "the night" to tell me she had had a dream that I was pregnant. I told her "she was on crack" verbatim. In only six weeks I would find out that I was indeed pregnant. I would cry when I got the results because I was not ready to have a baby again. I am ashamed to admit that.

The nine months where filled with emotions and so much fear. How could I possibly split all the love I have for Mason with another baby. I've been told everyone experiences those exact feelings. And everyone tells you "you just do. You find a way and you just do." And they are right, sort of. I've never had to split it. I feel like a am able to give more love now. As if once my baby was born, I filled up with love ready to give instead.

So now one year later I look at my most perfect baby girl and wonder how I could have ever been unsure about having another baby. She is sweet and smiley and easy going, the perfect addition to our family. So now looking back exactly one year all I can think is, "Thank God for our one crazy, irresponsible night."

What up Grinch!

What is my problem? Just 2 weeks ago we put up all our Christmas decorations. Today I am taking them all down. I want the tree out tonight. This time of year is so stressful and exhausting that I just want my regular life back. How exhausting? So much so that I didn't take a single picture of our Christmas. I didn't send out a single Christmas card. And so completely exhausting that all the cut-out cookies are gone, and that takes a lot of energy to eat that many cookies.

So I am moving on and you won't hear another blub about Christmas until next year.

Happy New Year!

Another Birthday...

To my college crush,
my bestfriend,
my babies' daddy,
my lover.
Happy Birthday Mike!

Happy Birthday Mason!

Dear Mason,
Yesterday you turned 3 years old. My gosh, where is the time going? It feels like just yesterday that I sat down and wrote to you on your second birthday.

The past year has been crazy. You have become so much more independent yet you still need a bunch of snuggle time throughout the day. Don't worry about me, I love that about you and drop everything when you just want to snuggle because I know deep down that you won't be like that forever. I'm taking it all in. You still nurse once a day during the week, right before nap time. The weekends almost never since your Dada puts you to sleep then. We've nursed a looooong time now Mason, so when your ready to be done just let me know. I never thought I'd be one of those people that nurse their kids until 3, but I am proud to say now that I am. It's amazing, the things we do for our kids.

Last year I talked about all the things you could say and the cute things you did at that time but that would take me forever this year. This year you say everything and are able to do just about everything an average person can do. You are by no means average though. You have got personality plus! A few weeks ago your Dad did something that really made me mad. He went to play basketball like he does every Wednesday and the hour that he is usually gone began to get a little longer until he was gone just about 2 hours. I was mad, really mad and I lost it a little. Not my proudest moment. I think I said something like, "This basketball stuff is really starting to Piss. Me. Off!" You then did an Oscar worthy performance of "Dada you really Piss. Me. Off!" with hand gestures and all. The tense situation turned immediately to tears of laughter. It's nice to know you've got my back!

One of my favorite memories of the past year was the week we spent in Mexico. You loved the airplane, you loved the beach, and you slept like a champ. Even though your dad and I got a little sick, you made sure we still left our room because you were healthy as a horse and ready to party like a rockstar! That would be our last trip ever as a threesome. You were awesome and made the trip one I will never forget.

Sometimes I feel a little guilty about spending much of your last year pregnant. My patience left little to be desired and as your dad says, "I was pretty hormonal." I feel like I should have spent more time with you before we became a family of four. I was telling someone about the guilt I felt and they assured me I was giving you the best gift anyone could ever give, a sibling! That instantly made me feel better and has ever since. I hope someday you'll agree.

Your sister loves you to pieces. Even when you squeeze her a lot too hard and do cannon balls that end up partially on top of her, she almost always ends up giving you the hugest smile that your Dad and I work so hard to get. I hope everyday that the two of you will grow up to be as close as a brother and sister can be.


Although you are no longer an only child, you still hold a very special place in my heart. The day you were born was the most amazing day of my life because it was the day I went from being a woman to a mother. Something that only happens once in lifetime and something I've wanted my whole life but I never knew. So thank you Mason, Thank you for making my most amazing dream come true! I can't wait to see what the next year brings.



Love, Mama

The factory is closed!

I've been having these weird emotions lately. I love my babies more than anything. I'd do anything for them and cannot imagine them not being part of our little family. But, I am pretty sure the factory is closed and that makes me a little sad. Today I got the Mirena, birth control that is good for 5 years!

The fact is I love having babies. Really I do! I even love the delivery part, ask Pedro. I am not sure I have ever heard someone else say that, but I loved it for both my babies and they were worlds apart. Yes, it is damn hard work, it hurts worse than anything you can imagine, but I loved it. I'm a freak now, aren't I? I think part of it is how amazing I think my body is for just knowing what to do. I think we under estimate our bodies and this is one of it's truly amazing abilities. However if having babies never got any harder than the delivery, I'd probably have 10, maybe 12! Ok maybe not, but definitely more than 2.

But here's the catch. Raising kids is really damn hard. It is exhausting and challenging and at times can put a big stress on a marriage. I love what I have. I feel so fortunate to have the healthy, spunky kids I have that at times get freaked out to think about tempting fate. So for now I'm shut down for business (or until 5 years is up).

O Christmas tree...

This weekend we decorated for Christmas. Pedro went and picked a perfect tree again with a little less girth than the one from last year. We spent the night on friday decorating until it was perfect while listening to Christmas music. We all went to bed at a normal time after having a great night. Harper woke up at 4 to eat. We went into the living room, plopped down on the couch and she went to town. After about 5 minutes I looked over to my left and noticed the Christmas tree lying on the couch next to me. The tree had fallen completely over at some point during the night and we hadn't heard a thing.
The next morning we redid a bunch of the orniments that had fallen off and Pedro made sure the tree was a whole lot more sturdy.

Potpourri for $400, Alex

I just needed a little blogging break,I guess.

* The space key is broken on our computer. Too much excitement watching noggin online for someone in our house hold. Also reallydamnhard to type.

* Friday was my 29th birthday. I felt very old while watching a Real World rerun and they were all, "Ohmagod, You're 22? I'm 22. We are all 22!" Whatever that was so 7 years ago.

* Harper is freakishly tall(what up Pedro genes 6'6"). We are getting a new carseat stat. The carrier that snaps into the base is totally unsafe for her. We have the shoulder straps adjusted to the highest notch and they fall right around the middle of her arms. I am guessing it would not be pretty in an accident.

* I have a new site, but I have issues. The template on it can only be used with a Mac, and I am not sure I am ready to commit to only using that. I am still a PC girl I guess.

* Mason made me laugh today. He does everyday but today two things stuck out.

First, he was playing with a doll he just got. It was for Harper, but he loves it and I have no problem with that. He went and got two more from Harper's room and had them all together. He was playing so sweetly, putting them to sleep and such. I thought I'd encourage him farther by telling him he could name them. They were all girl dolls so I started giving him ideas.
Me: "You could name one Sally or Suzie or Molly or Harper..."
Him: "or racecar or dump truck..."
I guess he really is a boy.

Next, I was nursing him before his nap and then laid him down.
Mason: "Love you Mama, thank you for the milky, I drank it all. Just like juice!"
God I love that kid!

* Tonight I start teaching yoga again. Wish me luck. I hope my bladder functions have returned to normal...

That is enough for today. Wanna know what's on my Christmas list? I think I just might post it. Tomorrow.

A Day of Thanks.

I was reading a bunch of my favorite blogs and read a beautiful post by Ms.Mamma. It inspired me to write about the things I am most thankful for. Often I find myself having internal pity parties. Dwelling on how naughty Mason was for the entire day or how long it took to get Harper down for the night. Another thing I tend to whine about is the lack of time I get to be with my husband.

Thankfully though I am able to pull myself up and smack some reality into my head. I am damn lucky! I have an amazing little boy with a tremendous spirit. Nothing he does is meek, he is always full of life. What an amazing quality to have, to be Full of Life.

And my little girl, she spends a lot of the time she's not asleep looking right into my eyes smiling and making the cutest throaty gurgles as if she is trying to tell me something. How could I ever get irritated by that? She is perfectly healthy and is happiest when she is in my arms, looking in my eyes.

And my husband. Because of how hard he works and takes care of us, I have been able to fulfill a dream that not everyone gets to live. I've been able to stay at home with my kids and watch them reach every milestone. Because of him. We may not get the time together that we crave, but there will come a day when all our hardwork of raising amazing little people will pay off. We'll have all the time in the world together and hopefully we'll be able to say, "we wouldn't have done it any other way."

I love you, my amazing little family. I am thankful for having all of you in my life.

Ho Ho Ho Holiday Meme

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
Egg Nog- spiked with rum is delish too.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
All the presents are wrapped.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
All White.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
Sure do.

5. When do you put your decorations up?
The weekend after Thanksgiving.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
Turkey Stuffing and Taters with gravy baby!!

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child:
When I got a cabbage patch doll.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
I don't remember.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
Always.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?
Lights and ornaments. I like them to match too.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?
Love it until it's ovestayed its welcome.

12. Can you ice skate?
Sure can.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? nope

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
Making memories for my kids.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
Christmas cookie cut-outs.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Getting up and opening a full stocking.

17. What tops your tree?
A star.

18. Which do you prefer Giving or Receiving?
Both.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song?
We Three Kings- BNL and Sarah McLachlan

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?
Yum! Crush them up and mix with melted white chocolate.
** If you do this let me know so I can check your list out too.

It's all about Harper!

You've heard about Mason and my cervix, but I think it's time for a Harper update,no?

Where do I start...

The girl is huge! She has way out grown her newborn stuff and 3 month stuff and is wearing all 6 month clothes. At 8 weeks. The pimples are finally gone, but we are still dealing with a clogged tear duct in her right eye. Does anyone have any secrets on what to do with it? My ears are open. I had never heard of it before and was sure she had an infection of some sort. My friend (Hi Megan!) then told me that it was very common for babies to have them. I googled it and sure enough, that what it is, orange and green eye goop and all.

She has gained a pound a week except for the first week and is at 14 pounds. Big Girl. (Don't tell anyone about the t-bone steaks I've been supplementing my breastmilk with.)

I've been hesitant to tell my internet friends about this, afraid I'd jinx myself, but from day one Harper has gotten up only once a night to nurse. Once! Love It.

She is a very "chill" baby. Unless I eat chili, baby does not like chili.

I love her. My pretty, pretty girl.

Am I What????

"Are you pregnant?" my midwife asked.
My heart started beating 200 beats per minute and my breath was taken away from me. A million things raced through my head in a fraction of a second. I had just given birth to a perfect little girl a mere 7 weeks earlier. Apparently my cervix is very blue, something that usually only pregnant women possess. It represents a very vascular cervix.

Then reality set in.

"You have to have sex to get pregnant, right?...So no, I am not pregnant."