7 Days: six

Happy Saturday!

7 Days: five

Wasting away again in Margaritaville.

7 Days: four

Before you look at this picture and say "ick!", let me tell you about my day. Now I know I am not supposed to say a whole lot but rather let my awesome pictures tell the story, but I like to talk sometimes.

Harper has some little stomach bug. She's been pooping weird poo for 3 days now. On a positive note, she has been taking her morning nap in her crib, yay! This morning I took her upstairs and nursed her, all the while hearing what sounded like dishes being done downstairs. I got her all settled and went down to find that Mason was trying to do some dishes with a half of a big bottle of Dawn Ultra Concentrated. I need to throw in all those details because the ultra concentrated part makes a huge differnce. I still am feeling soapy residue on all the counter tops.

After about the sixth diarrhea poop I decided poor little girl should get a tub to soothe her little bum. I got in with her and she pooped sick diarrhea poop everywhere. I am pretty non-phased by the whole puke/ poop thing, but this, this was just nasty! I showered myself off thankyouverymuch.

After all was said and done, it was time to get both kids to take the afternoon nap. Mason went down without a hitch. I started feeding Harper and she passed out immediately. I was just about to move her when the doorbell rings, the dog goes ape and I am ready to ream some ass. Oh, Harper woke up too so the whole winding down thing needed to be started over. Damn homeschooled neighbor boy wanted cans, CANS!

So cut me some slack today. Yes I am feeding her, yes those are my PJs and no I haven't brushed my teeth. . . still haven't! Wanna come over and give Mama a kiss...

7 Days: three

This picture sucks, but I have to show you what we are experiencing today! Bullshit, don't you think? It is almost mid-April. Ugh.

7 Days: two

Does a walk count as a "walk" if you stop mid-walk and get an Oatmeal Raisin cookie and a non-fat Chai?

7 Days: One

I've still got the blahs but I am out the door to Yoga, my church. Oops! Was that out loud? Yoga is very refreshing for me and it makes me feel more spiritual than anything else.

I'm just saying, my attitude needs a deep cleaning, STAT!

delay

I've got a lot going on in my head and heart tonight. I'm starting tomorrow.

Quitting is not an option!

I was playing around with flickr yesterday and saw something really cool. It was a 7 days of self-portrait pool. Of course it took place last month. It was a really neat way to see how a persons life runs, with very few if any words.

So I am doing my own.

Starting Sunday, Easter Sunday, I will be posting a self-portrait everyday for the next week. I think it might be neat to see my daily life in pictures. You may see more than you ever wanted to see. At least you won't be able to tell if I brushed my teeth for the first time at 4 pm, not that that ever happens. I'm just sayin. Being a stay at home Mama is not always glamorous!

Anyone want to join in the fun?

Baby Love, My Baby Love. . .

It's a Virtual Tea Party!

As if you needed any more proof that I am a tad, how should I say...crazy.

Here goes. I think Harper is effected by caffeine. I refuse to give up my morning coffee, but I have made some adjustments during the day. I live less than 3 blocks from Starbucks. It is not a good thing, except that people always know what to get me for gifts. Hello, Starbucks gift cards! I think it is fair to say on the weekends we hit Starbucks everyday and I hit it most days during the week. Most times I get something with no coffee or at least less caffeine than brewed coffee. Lately it has been a tall non-fat chai tea latte. It is warm and spicy and I love how the black pepper gives that tiny tingle in your mouth. ( I am all about the tingle. Hi Metalia!)

I digress.

About 5 chais ago I started noticing that as soon as I took my first sip I got the hiccups. Coincidence, right. I had another one a few days later and again the hiccups. I was going to call Pedro and tell him, but I thought he'd tell me I was crazy. With every sip I took, I hiccuped and for I few minutes after I finished. I was totally fascinated but I was scared to tell anyone. Yesterday my mom and I were shopping and we stopped at Starbucks. I got the same and my mom got a tall iced passion tea. First sip I hiccuped. Second, hiccup. She was in the middle of telling me a story and I totally interrupted to tell her my very important finding. Then I made her study me every time I took a sip. Ha! A witness and it still happened! So there you have it. I am not crazy. It is not just in my head. My mom only thought I was slightly crazy that I thought it was such a big deal. So what do you think? Has this every happened to you? And, what the hell in Chai tea is causing me to hiccup?

You missed me?

Hi. Remember me? I used to have this thing called a little "blog" if you will. Then I was annoyed that I couldn't keep up with other blogs I really like to read because I agreed to post everyday. Stupid. On top of that I have two cute, high maintainance kids. One that will not be put down at. all. And insists that she only be held by Pedro or myself, no one else or she's a screaming mess. The other one (sigh) just wears me out.

I was talking to my friend yesterday sbout how I could seriously nag at Mason all day long. But I won't. I will not look back at the years I spent at home with my kids and only remember myself in the screaming variety. I refuse. So, instead sometimes it causes me a whole lot more work. Today for example Mason played outside all morning. He stayed within feet of the house so I didn't have to keep yelling, I just let him play. He played in the wet empty garden shoveling dirt, "looking for wormies". He finally came in the house right before lunch. Minutes later Pedro came home for lunch and asked what happened to the garage. I looked out and put my hand over my mouth. Mud and dirt covered the garage floor. Mason had shoveled dirt from the garden into his big dump truck and unload the truck loads on the garage floor. Quite the imagination he has, no? It took only a couple of minutes to sweep all the dirt into a big pile and take shovel loads back to the garden.

Speaking of the garden, Mason has been afraid of the rain lately. No, not thunder, rain. It freaks him out when he is trying to sleep and it hits his window. We've now spent so much time talking to him about how "good" rain is and how it makes the grass turn green and the plants and flowers grow. A couple of days ago, we were under a thunderstorm watch so we started to prepare Mason.

"Mason, we are gong to have more rain tonight, but rain is good right?"

"I like rain. It makes the grass grow and the plants wake up fron their dirt nap."

Indeed it does. Why can't we all talk like that? So simple, so true. I love that kid.

Day 21: Mission Failed

I am out of motivation, out of ideas. Sorry. I'll write again when I have something of substance. Peace Out.

xoxo,

Quitter

Day 20: Double the pleasure,double the fun!

Today I took both kids to the Dr. for check-ups. I knew it was going to be hard and it was. Mason has been on tape recorder mode for a few weeks so he replays everything said during a conversation just seconds after it is said. It is so hard to talk to a Dr and hold your thoughts when you hear eveything echo, echo. Harper got 3 shots, on top of the sniffles she woke up with this morning. Good times!

So basically I got nothing, unless of course you'd like to look at my flickr account that I've been organizing. I spent an hour on it this morning and made new sets. Check it out and let me know what you think! Since I am on the Mac, I can't do a link so if you click on the post title it will take you there. Enjoy!

Also, it's day 20. I have blogged everyday for 20 days. Woot! Any suggestions for some steamy new posts?

Day 19: The Story of Chelle.

I am not sure when I met Chelle; I think it was sometime in gradeschool. Chelle and I were never best friends but always friends through all the phases a pre-teen and teenage girl goes through. She went through a lot of them. I think some of why Chelle and I were always friends was because people always said we looked alike. Both blonde, blue eyed, thicker build.

Chelle's Mom was a successful hair salon owner and her dad a detective for the local police department. Some thought that Chelle rebelled because of her fathers postion. I don't know? I do know that her parents were incredibly supportive and loving. You couldn't go to the salon her mom owned without hearing her gush all about her daughter the way anyone would love to hear themselves being spoke of. The way they acted at home was very similar, at least when I was over. They did everything for Chelle and her brother. Often Chelle and I would have to pose for a picture since we "looked like sisters". My senior year of high school I was on homecoming court. Chelle's Dad drove me in the parade in his yellow convertable sports car. I still wonder if he picked out that car or Chelle did since it was her favorite color.

After high school, I went on to college. I heard that Chelle moved in with a serious boyfriend. One weekend I was at my parents house and the phone rang, it was my parent's gossipy cleaning lady.

"Annie?"

"Yes?"

"You were friends with Chelle ****, right?"

"Yes."

"Did you hear she killed herself?"

"What!?"

At that point I think I stopped listening. The way she was the one to call and give me the news pissed me off. The way she only knew parts of the story but still was eager to pass the news along all angered me.

She was in fact dead. She dove off a bridge onto an underpass. She died instantly. I am not sure what went so wrong and I'm not sure anyone ever will but I'm certain that depression got the best of her.

Her funeral was still one of the most horrifying events I've ever been to. The caskat was open and Chelle was anything but herself. I had my mom walk up with me. I was too scared to go alone. Seeing her family was the most eerie. Immediatly her Dad hugged me with this strange force. I have a feeling he was not hugging me, but the person I resembled, his daughter. It was a hug I'll never forget. Collages were there representing Chelle. On the main collage, a picture or her and I.

I think about Chelle often. There are so many things that remind me of her. I talk to her mom whenever I get my haircut but I never know what to say. I brought pictures in last week to show my stylist. They were pictures of my babies. Chelle's mom wanted to see them, but they hurt her very bad. Her eyes welled up and she left for the day.

Now more than ever I can understand the impact that losing a child must have. I understand it but pray that I never ever have to experince it. Watching a mother grieve after 9 years have past showed me clearly how devistating it is.

Usually I think about Chelle, but lately I've been thinking about her Mom. I know she'll never be the same, but I wonder if she'll ever be at peace?

Rest in peace Chelle.

Live in peace Genie.

Day 18: What a picture is worth.

If I have only one memory of my years staying home with my babies, I hope it looks a lot like this.



Thanks Ms. Mamma for capturing a "moment".

Day 17: Water Park Pictures

"Now with more nipples!"

See the pink princess lil swimmers sticking out? Some heartless Mom makes her little boy wear the pink ones (she accidentally bought) because she's too cheap to throw them away and go get the boy ones.

Day 16: Free for All.

First let me tell you what I hate about this little agreement I made to post every. single. day. I am so far behind on reading all the blogs I usually read. Every little snip-it of time I get to be on the computer is spent on my own blog. I barely even get to comment back to the comments made on my blog. So I'll do it now...thank you all. You are all great little ego boosters I wish I could shrink down and carry around in my purse.

This week Pedro has been home. His Last day at his old job was last Friday and his new one starts on Monday. It's nice to have him around, but My God can he trash the house... As bad as the kids. We planned one fun thing to do while he was home. Yesterday we went to an indoor water park. Mason couldn't stop squeeling and Harper was the most chill I've ever seen. We think it was from all the water noise that acted like white noise. They also had johnny jump-ups in the water for babies Harpers age. The best part about it was that is was just 10 miles from our house, so it wasn't a huge commitment. We had a blast.

Day 15: The promise

before:


after:






I am not sure this shows how drastic the cut was, but I needed something new and fresh. It feels so good and bouncy, love it! Also I went back to WW after missing 3 weeks. I totally fell off the wagon so I was scared to go back. This morning I walked in ready to hear I had gained back all 12 lbs...I lost 4 so I am down 16. Woo Hoo! Go Me! One step closer to glorified Milf.

Day 14: Breaking News

I got a haircut. A huge haircut. So huge you could make a wig out of the hair that was cut off. The drastic cut wasn't planned so I didn't take a before picture, but I am sure I can find one from last week. Give me a few hours to come up with before and after. I think I love it...

Day 13: Food

Ms. Mamma tagged me for this Meme a few days ago. Thank God because I have to write a blog a day and I am running out of things to blab about. So now you get to hear all about my foodisms. Enjoy!

1. What's your #1 comfort food? Soup, I'll eat almost any soup. I love how it makes me feel all warm inside.

2. If you were on a deserted island, what one food would you want to have with you? Granola.

3. What is/are your signature dishes? (What dishes are you 'known' for?) Chicken Picatta, bruschetta (for the record it is pronounced bruce-ket-ah, everyone I know pronounces it wrong, like bru-shetta. I did too until my cousin Paul, who speaks a gazillion languages corrected me!)

4. It's Friday night, you don't know what to cook. You opt for...fish and chips. In Wisconsin we call it Fish fry.

5. What's your biggest weakness when it comes to food? I've developed a awful sweet tooth, mine is closer to a sugar tooth.

6. What food can you absolutely not eat? Innards. One time though, I was invited to a traditional Hmong celebration and ate innards to be polite. It was fine, but now when I think of it I nearly gag.

7. You need a drink. Margarita baby! Or a glass of wine. Or a Corona served like a margarita, with salt and lime.

8. What's the most decadent dish you've had? The most expensive meal ever was at Tantra in South Beach .

9. What's your favorite type of food? Japanese, sushi.

10. Favorite dish? Chicken burrito, beans and rice. Guacamole of course.

11. If your partner could take you to any restaurant you wanted, which one would it be? Tantra

12. Are you a soup or salad person? With a big meal, salad. For a small meal, both.

13. Buffet, take-out or sit-down restaurant? Sit down

14. What's the most impressive dinner you've ever made? Surf and turf, sauteed green beans and roasted corn and garlic couscous.

15. Do you consider yourself a good cook? I think I'm pretty good.

16. Do you know what vichyssoise is? No, but I'll look it up.

17. Who's your favorite TV cook? Nigella Lawson she makes cooking all seductive.

18. Can you name at least three TV cooking personalities? Giada De Laurentiis, Barefoot Contessa, Rachael Ray ( she makes me want to poke my eyeballs out with heated skewers but I still watch her!)

19. Homemade or homemade from a box? Homemade

20. Name 3 or more other foodies you are going to tag. Anyone up for it? Let me know, I love to know what people eat!

Day 12: Reality

Yesterday afternoon we attended an Open House for a preschool for Mason. We were all excited, Mason talked all morning about going to "his school". He was beyond excited. The morning came and went and we headed to the school. We pulled up and all got out of the car. I hadn't thought about the way it would make me feel. I had to keep swallowing. Swallowing back tears I had know idea would be present. It hurt. I finally looked at Mike and all I could say was, "this is making my heart hurt". It was.

We went inside and Mason didn't miss a beat. When the teacher asked him his name he answered her with both first and last name just like I had imagined a pre-schooler would. He met a little girl named Maurina that had gone to the school for 2 years. She took him under her wing and they played in each room we toured. He was a perfect gentleman. I was so proud of the way he acted, and proud that he was mine. He was sad when it was time to go. He cried that he wanted to go back to school.

I was crying inside that my baby boy was old enough to go to school. How could I ever complain about the work it is to stay at home. I have watched my boy grow from a tiny little bundle to handsome little boy. I was there for it all and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Day 11: Wash, Rinse, Repeat.

Do you know hoe to make a perfectly good day turn perfectly bad? Let me tell you. I know the answer!

Yesterday I was getting ready for the day. I was showered, my clothes were on and even a little make-up too. I just had to blow out my hair. But first, mousse! I put two pumps of my new mousse I had bought the night before into my hand and worked it through my hair. "Wow, this stuff is really moisturizing." I thought to myself. I turned to the back of the can that clearly read: work through hair, leave for 1-3 minutes and rinse. Shit!

So my new Volumizing Aero Conditioner not a mousse at all, but more of a full blown conditioner.

Day 10: Funny how things work out.

Yesterday I talked to my Mom about how disappointing it is that even though I have my family near, rarely can I rely on any sort of help. Today my Dad came over, picked up Mason and took him to run errands and to lunch. Mason had a great time. Unfortunately the few times my parents can help out, it is my Dad. My Mom is always busy doing something. Mason had a great time none the less. It is nice that Mason has such a neat relationship with my Dad.

Day 9: I smell a Saab Snob.

Hi! Um, about yesterday's post and the day before, sorry. I am totally done with the Debbie Downer stuff(until next week). I promise.

Moving On.

Do you remeber last year, right around this time? Pedro and I were at odds about impulsivity and cars and all that other bullshit? Ha ha ha, funny for me for thinking it was over. We have a Saab, right? Yes, we do and apparently one just wasn't enough because we have two now (cue balloons and party horns)!! Pedro just loves him some cars. Now we have one midnight blue with tan interior and one black with black interior. How cute, his and her Saabs. Blech, never!

He is kind of funny that guy. One-half Marketing exececutive and another half grease monkey. That's my boy! So go on take his side, If you look at the comments you guys all sort of took his sid. Bitches. And why do I keep him around? Oh yeah, he's pretty cute.

Day 8: Poor Me!

It is going to be one of "those" so I 'll excuse you if you'd like to go elsewhere, really. Yesterday I took my phone off the hook, until this morning. I couldn't bare to hear anyone elses "poor me". I have enough of my own crap to deal with. I have been trying for two days now to get Harper to sleep in her crib, without CIO. I need my sanity back, my body and a little time of her not being attached to me. I know, horrible me.

We go up to her room nurse until she is calm and eyes are closed and BOOM, CRASH, lights turn on and her door whips open along with her eyes. It's Mason ready to party! He has done this both times I 've tried. I've turned on a movie for him, gotten him a snack and explained what I was going to do. What more can I do.

Tonight Pedro has a going away party at his work. It is at a local restaurant but I can't go. I am not going to go and spend my time chasing Mason around and I don't expect Pedro to do it at his party. My parents have other plans. Whatever. I just can't depend on family to help me out. I can count on one maybe two hands how many times they've babysat. The part that makes me so mad is that I rarely ask them, very rarely. What I need to do is find a reliable teenager or college student to always ask first. That way I won't be disappointed.

I know, right? Boo-fricken-hoo.

Day 7: More Controversial Crap.

I have been thinking a lot lately about the very fine line that lies between opinionated and jugdemental. That line is crucial because it can be painful to be in the presence of a judgemental person. And, you know what they say...Opinions are like buttholes, everyone has one. Classy, I know. So lets get into it, shall we?

Having two kids has re-enforced my mantra, "you do what works for you".
What works for me? Sometimes I feel like nothing is working for me, but here's what we do. I breastfeed exclusively. I wear slings but also depend heavily on the swing and the Jumperoo. We co-sleep, but not because I like it or believe in it. I do it for my own selfish reasons, I. Need. Sleep. and I am too lazy to wake up any more than I already am. Actually I really don't like it. Every morning I wake up with a stiff neck and a sore back. I can't tell you how much I 'd give to sleep in my own bed all sprawled and free. In due time. We don't "cry it out". I tried it once and it was the most traumatic thing I've ever done. To hear my baby's cry turn from pissed to terrified was the most horrible thing for me to hear. I vowed to never do it again. It just didn't work for us and maybe I didn't really want it to. So do I do "attatchement parenting"? Nope, I hate to label and I don't meet all the criteria. I do what feels right and natural and frankly, sometimes I do what gets me through the day.

I have this friend who has a baby the same age as Harper. They were struggling big time as a family from the lack of sleep. Their marriage was getting shakier by the day. They needed to try something different and decided to try CIO. I agreed. When you get to the point of your marriage suffering, it's time to make a change. I was totally supportive of the choice they had made. So yesterday we were talking about the method I was totally clueless about. They have been reading books to make sure they are doing it the right way if they are going to do it. We got to talking about what to do if your baby throws up from being so distraught. The books says to change the babies clothes and bedding and quickly put them back into the crib without comforting them. This is so wrong to me! I am 29 and still prefer to be comforted and taken care of if and when I puke. Puking is scary. To me that implied that if you comforted your baby after puking, that would be their crutch. If I puke, I get picked up. What a sad thing to think a baby would force itself to puke just to get picked up. Isn't that our job are parents to comfort our kids when they need it? How sad. So when I was talking to my freind yesterday I told her I had a huge problem with that. And at that point I became opinionated bordering on judgemental. I just hope that I didn't cross the line that is our friendship.

Day 6: Better Late than Never.

You all thought I wasn't going to post today didn't you? Oh no, I'm not going out like that on day 6!! I have a number of things to tell you about, just not the time to write them down.

So for let me tell you this...Harper learned to scream today. For fun. Not so fun except she is all smiley and giddy when she does it. It is not just vocalizing, it's more like horror movie screaming. So fun now what my ears are ringing and I keep thinking its the phone.

I got to do something I love to do today.

I got three email replies from 3 different internet friends that were sent up to 6 months ago. So I am doing a public apology to anyone else that got a repeat email from me...I can't figure it out.

Good stuff tomorrow!

Day 5: Bump!

I really didn't plan on having another picture day, but I had to jump on the belly tag.


I really love to look back at this one. I feel like now with two kids, Pedro and I rarely get to be together so it is nice to have a picture of us, just us.


Pretty sunshine on a big, ripe belly.

Day 4: Coin Toss

Heads







Or







Tails?

Day 3: Hunk-a-hunk-a blowin' snow...

How much do you wish you lived in Wisconsin?

Day 2: My life as a SAHM

A turbulent portion of my life. For Ashley and Hilarazzi. Ashley wanted to hear about different times in my life and Hilary wanted to know about becoming a SAHM. The two go hand and hand and it was probably one of the scariest times in my life.

About five years ago, Pedro and I were living in Florida. I took a little test one morning the confirmed I was indeed expecting a baby. We took our time but eventually decided that Ft. Lauderdale was not the place we wanted to start a family. Pedro began searching for jobs back in Wisconsin and before long found a job that would work. It would allow me to stay home like I had always wanted but things would still be tight. After two interviews and details of the position, Pedro was informed that he'd be getting the written offer by the end of the week.

We began covering all the bases to move back. Pedro put in his notice at his job. We hired a moving company. We gave our notice at our apartment. It was all done and we were ahead of the game. Later that week the letter came only it was a tad different than we'd expected. It said something to the effect that "at this time we cannot offer you a position." Oh. My. God.

Fast forward about a month we were back in Wisconsin, with nothing. I was six months pregnant. We had no jobs, no place to live, (unless we wanted to move in with our parents, so lets just say NO place to live) no insurance, and just a little money in the bank. It was the most stressful time I can remember. We were living out of savings and on credit cards, in a college apartment even though we weren't college students. Mike looked for jobs everywhere and was almost willing to take a job that was just above minimum wage, but he stuck it out a little longer.

Mid-December, six weeks earlier than planned, my water broke. Here was Mason! He was in the intensive care unit for 2 weeks before we could bring him home. Pedro received a job offer while we were staying in the Ronald McDonald House. It was a really decent offer. It had been 4 months without any sort of income and we were used to living on almost nothing.

In hindsight we always say that it worked out best that way. We were so poor that it wasn't a shock for us to whittle down to one income. Now close to five years later things have changed a bunch. We own our home. We have 2 kids and Pedro just was offered a job as the Director of Marketing at a printing company. We have a lot to be thankful for. I often think that Mason came early due to the stress we were under. I am not a religious person but I do believe that everything happens for a reason. I still don't have a clear reason why all that happened, but I do know that we learned a bunch about ourselves and each other during that time. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and we are pretty strong these days.

Day 1: Did you know...

*I actually do work outside the house too. I teach Yoga once a week.

*I have a Bachelors Degree in Health Promotion and Wellness.

*Before I was a stay at home mom, I worked for the State of Wisconsin as an educator for first time parents. I taught about breastfeeding (ironic!), infant massage, and nutrition.

*I can use chopsticks like a pro because...
When I graduated from college I wasn't ready to get a "real job" so a found yet another waitressing job at an authentic Japanese restaraunt. At the end of the night, we would eat a sit-down japanese meal all together at a properly set table, set with only chopsticks. I was not going to be the only one to excuse myself to get a fork so I learned really fast (under pressure more like it) how to eat everything, even rice, with chopsticks. Fascinating, I know!

*My favorite sushi is white tuna.

*My favorite drink is a Margarita.

*I wear a wife beater almost every single day under whatever I am wearing. I am not sure why.

*My hair is naturally light blonde and my eyebrows are almost freakishly dark. I should probably have them lightened but I am scared I'd look totally different.

*After I've been out of my house for any reason, the first thing I do after walking in the door is wash my hands. (So I don't even have to mention about being a germiphobe, right? You all are well aware already.)

*When I go to bed at night, I always start thinking about my morning cup of coffee. I love it that much.

Did you learn anything new? Want to know more useless tidbits? Just ask.

T-minus 8 hours.

Tomorrow is March 1st. Are you ready? I am taking ideas STAT! I promise to follow thru this time and answer all burning questions, within reason. But come on, I leave very little to the imagination. So, bring it!

This is a cry for HELP!

Seriously, I can't take it anymore. My patience are gone. I am feeling like I am in the top 5 for the Worlds Worst Mother award. I don't know what has happened in the past week, but Harper is anti-sleep. She fights it completely. Yesterday her normal 5 hours of daytime napping whittled down to bits and pieces that equaled an hour. One hour of napping throughout the day equaled a screaming, hysterical baby. It was a day from Hell and Saturday was only slightly better.

Now, let me tell you what I have tried. I cannot and will not do Cry It Out. I have no doubt it works, but it isn't for me. I think I have tried everything else though. I used to nurse her to sleep but she is acting like she hates it. As soon as my milk lets down she is totally turned off. However if she is already half asleep she will nurse for hours. If I lay her down. She does this weird stomach crunch thing and tries to sit up. She won't rock. "Wearing her down" only seems to stimulate her more. I am totally clueless. Please tell me I am totally missing something and the answer is simple. Mason was a super hard baby and I don't remember him ever fighting sleep to this extreme. Aaaaaaa!

You are tired of pictures, aren't you?

I know, I know. I've totally been lacking quality content here haven't I? I go in spurts of here just like I do with everything else in my life. Hello afternoon delight, aa-aa-afternoon delight! So maybe it's not the delight that the song is referring to, bow-chicka-wow, but it is my afternoon pick-me-up I can't go without. Are you a prude! It is just a little White Russian. Calm down already it only impairs my judgement slightly.

"Mashon quit swinging yer sister by her tows!"

I kid. I love my iced coffee, 2 Splendas and a splash of fat-free cream. So delish I look forward to it everyday. And it keeps my eyelids up! I digress.

I've been thinking of doing my own little challenge. It is very "last November", but I am thinking of doing a post everyday in March. Every. Single. Day. No guarantees for quality content, but I think it might be fun. You might learn something new about me. I might learn something about me! I am willing to give it a shot. Should I do it? Any suggestions?

Bring on March!

Weekend Photos

Harper Shakur. I am not at all into the frilly headbands that leave indents in the poor babies heads, but I love these that my friend Jill gave me. They are so Tupac-errific!

A redemption for Mason after the nose-picking incident.

Spring has Sprung!

Today it was in the upper 30's, heat wave! We couldn't wwait any longer so we busted out our new toy.


I love my new double stroller!
Harper lasted a few minutes and passed out. Mason sat like a good boy for the hour long trek. We stopped only long enough to take a picture and for Mason to find his brain.


We all needed to get out! We got home and I couldn't help but snap a few pictures of my rosey cheeked pink bundle of love!

Banana-watch 2007

February 15, 2007

Banana watch 2007 has come to a close.

The reason: constipation due to over-consumption.

Final words: treated me well, will be missed.

Insider Info: You all are still a bunch of freaks. I think I was a tad dilerious and quite possibly hungry when I wrote that post. I never expected to hear about it a week later. I heard about it via, comments, emial and phone calls. I like to think I am among good company. Banana Lovers Unite!

Word.

Ms.Mamma takes great pictures, doesn't she?

drowning

Have you ever imagined how it would feel to be in the middle of the ocean on a boat that was sinking. You see nothing as far as you look and know that swimming is not an option. The water starts to seap in and tickles around your ankles. Then it seems to pour in faster, quickly rising to your waist. Then the heaviness pushes on your chest and it gets harder to breathe. It gets up to your shoulders now and almost feels like it is pushing down on you, testing to see how strong you are. Then the choking feeling as it wraps around your neck. Then up to your mouth and nose. You have to work for every breath keeping only the tip of your nose out. And finally just the straw you grabbed as your last survival thought went through your head. As you breath the tiny breaths of strained air you know that that too will only help you a moment longer. Defeated.

That is how I am feeling. I just simply can't get ahead. I pour my heart into one area of my life, and the others suffer. There are the big things like relationships and family. And the small, like obligations and daily commitments. But together it feels like a big huge spider web that has me sucked in.

I wish I felt like there was one thing I excelled at instead of doing everything just Okay - Enough to keep my head above water. But I feel like that water is rising in slow motion. I'm not fully submerged but it is coming in inch by inch.

I know I can figure it out. I know how to swim, I know how to breathe. I just need to find the plug to pull, to let some of the water out. Where is that plug...

*no comments. I'm not looking for warm fuzzies. I'm expressing.

B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

I am going bananas for bananas people.

Have you ever noticed that a good banana is really good and a bad banana is really bad? The other day I was driving to my Yoga class and was snacking on a banana. It was the perfect banana. Perfectly golden yellow, not a touch of brown or green, just perfectly banana-y. It was seriously heavenly. As in, if I knew a banana would always taste that good I'd pass up a lot of not so healthy things to "peel that banana and Uh! Take a bite!"

On the other hand green bananas have that wierd ability to dry out your tongue and make your teeth feel funny. Brown ones are sickeningly sweet and leave a wicked bad taste in your mouth until you brush your teeth, not good.

Another way I love to devour my banana is to smear it with a little peanut butter. Totally delish! If you even like those foods a little, you have got to give the combo a shot. You just may be in love.

Speaking of love. Why am I still so immature that I can't help but crack a totally lame, childish joke when Pedro eats a banana? Men are allowed to love a good banana too aren't they? Or is it taboo for them to eat a banana in public?

Mmmmmmm...I love me some bananas.

That book is a total joke

You know that book about Alexander? Hahah. I laugh at it! I only wish I could laugh about my morning. Let me shorten it for you, otherwise you might just think I am making this up. I wish I was, I wish I was.

Harper wakes up earlier than normal. I go into my bedroom where she is laying on my bed, on my side, in a pool of puke. It is in her ear in her hair and covering the entire right side of her. She is smiling so I'm not worried even though she NEVER pukes. She must have had too much air in her tummy. So I strip her clothes off and get the tub started. Mason finds me in the bathroom and informs me he has pooped. Great! I love to multi-task! I strip him down too and put them both in the tub. Mason is being totally annoying so I get Harper out and into fresh clothes. Mason is now ready to be out. Duh, what fun is a tub if you don't have anyone to annoy? I haven't gotten his clothes ready so I take Harper and make a mad dash to get him a diaper and clean clothes. But, Wait! What is the dog doing? I haven't fed him yet. What is he eating, and why are there pieces of a diaper on the floor? He didn't! Oh yes he did. The disgusting dog had found the diaper which was all rolled up and fastened shut with tabs and opened it up and proceded to devour the contents, which mind you was so hellacious that required its owner to be bathed. The poop has been smeared on the carpet in the only room we have carpet and the dog smells of rank, toddler poop.

Now it is just after one and I still have not showered. However, my sheets have been washed, the rented Rug Doctor has done its job and my kids will soon go down for their naps. Now I need a stiff drink. Anyone care to join me. I promise I won't make you sit in poop or puke...just Do Not let the dog lick you!

I'm Weightin'. I'm Watchin'!

Last week, another 3 lbs. That my friends, bring my total weight loss to a whopping 9.6 lbs. Not bad, not bad at all. There is a problem however. Last week I thought I did really bad. I ate out at least 3 times. One of them a chinese buffet and you know that can't be "point" friendly and I still lost. That is called negative re-enforcement. I've been bad. Really bad ever since. One highlight of the weekend. No-Pudge Brownies. If you know what's good for you, stay away from these. They are the best thing I've ever had, in my life. They are totally fat free and according to Pedro the batter tastes like frosting. The problem...do you think you can stop at one little square? Oh hell no. I pretty much ate the whole box throughout the day yesterday. I am pretty sure the "no-pudge" part doesn't apply to eating the whole box. So this week is Operation Starvation. Ready, Set, don't Eat! I kid I kid. If you only knew me you'd know that not eating is totally impossible for me. However, this week I am going to me a model Weight Watchers student. I just hope it's not too late...

My not so baby boy.

I think Mason is weaning. In fact, I know he is. In the past week I have nursed him twice. It is such a strange feeling I have about all this. Do I feel like I have nursed him long enough? Absolutely. Do I hate to think about my baby being less of a baby and more of a boy. Absolutely. It is so bittersweet to watch him grow into this little person with an amazing personality that no longer "needs" me to make it through the day. Part of me feels incredibly selfish to even have the slightest bit of sadness but at the same time I am so ready to be done. The boy is 3. And also, the boy is 3! What a great thing that we were able to have this relationship for such a long time. I think I have said it a thousand times, to anyone who will listen but... I've never heard anyone say that they nursed too long, but I've heard dozens of women say that wished they had nursed longer. So now that I am at the end of the road with Mason, I can honestly say...


I wouldn't have done it any different.

Everyone Loves A MILF!

I got tired, in a different way. Tired of blaming the "baby weight" for feeling not so pretty. It may or may not have been from having my babies, but it began to be totally irrelivant. I wanted the flab gone and decided to finally do something about it.

I joined Weight Watchers.

The number of points I got was huge. Most people in Weight Watchers get 20 something points and I got in the upper 30's. All for the love of my boobs. (I haven't talked about my boobs enough lately and they are beginning to feel left out.) Seriously though, if you are a nursing mom you get an extra 12 points a day. I have found that those 12 points convert to an extra well balanced meal or supersizing (hehe, adios McDonald's) a portion of something at everymeal. If I can still eat a whole bunch of food and still lose weight, why wasn't I losing weight before Weight Watchers? I even have a Bachelors of Science degree in this stuff. I was in a rut. A huge eat whatever and whenever I wanted rut.

The first day, I was obsessed. I couldn't stop thinking about how bad I wanted to dive into the Tostitos on top of the pantry, or the ice cream in the freezer. I felt miserable. The second day it got easier and I stocked our fridge with fresh fruits and veggies and whole grain rice and couscous . Now I can eat a whole bunch of food, if I just eat the right stuff. I can literally snack all day if I do it wisely. It is not uncommon for me to eat an apple, banana and grapefruit everyday, for snacks. Which, DUH! I should have been doing anyway!

Last Thursday was my first weigh-in and I lost 4.6 lbs. In one week! Tomorrow I weigh-in again. I will keep you posted but I will not reveal my weight like a lot of brave souls do. . .I am a coward like that. Don't worry though, I still am very open about other things like my huge mass milk producing missiles. Or we can talk about the side effects of a high-fiber diet, GAS! Or how my 3 year old walks around the house singing, "Mama's got...hhhhhot farts!" He sings it in the sweetest tone you'd never now he was singing about something so crude. See, I told you I was open.

*FYI - Harper slept decent last night, up only twice and still sleeping at 9:10 am. She is totally healthy so all I can chalk it up to is a growth spurt. And geeze, she's really big already!

Put me out of my misery, PLEASE!

First things first. I bragged way too much about what a great sleeper Miss Harper was. The key word "was". But really she was for three and a half months and now she is getting up no less than 3 times per night. To some people that is actually a good night, but I was spoiled with her only getting up once a night from the day I brought her home. So needless to say, I am tired, very tired and achey, and tired.
I do have a bunch of things in the works though:

* A vacation in the works, to some place warm.

* A car crashing into my parents house in the middle of the night.

*I joined Weight Watchers and am going to be a MILF before you know it.

*Two very cool baby items I just bought and want to tell you all about.

But for now, this will have to do, because did I mention I'm tired?

Don't hate me because I'm naughty.

My fine is...$495.60

I guess I was a naughty girl at one time. This one is really fun, play along...
What's your raunch factor? Let's put a dollar value on that!

Here’s how it works:
You don’t have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine. And NO, it is not PER incident (otherwise, some of us would have totals more than the national debt!).

Bring up that calculator, and get going!

* Smoked pot — $10
* Did acid — $5
* Ever had sex at church — $25
* Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you — $40
* Had sex with someone on MySpace — $25
* Had sex for money — $100
* Vandalized something — $20
* Had sex on your parents’ bed — $10
* Beat up someone — $20
* Been jumped — $10
* Crossed dressed — $10
* Given money to stripper — $25
* Been in love with a stripper — $20
* Kissed some one who’s name you didn’t know — $0.10
* Hit on some one of the same sex while at work — $15
* Ever drive drunk — $20
* Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk — $50
* Used toys while having sex — $30
* Got drunk, passed out and don’t remember the night before — $20
* Went skinny dipping — $5
* Had sex in a pool — $20
* Kissed someone of the same sex — $10
* Had sex with someone of the same sex — $20
* Cheated on your significant other — $10
* Masturbated — $10
* Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend — $20
* Done oral — $5
* Got oral — $5
* Done / got oral in a car while it was moving — $25
* Stole something — $10
* Had sex with someone in jail — $25
* Made a nasty home video — $15
* Had a threesome — $50
* Had sex in the wild — $20
* Been in the same room while someone was having sex — $25
* Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars — $20
* Had sex with someone 10 years older — $20
* Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 — $25
* Been in love with two people or more at the same time — $50
* Said you love someone but didn’t mean it — $25
* Went streaking — $5*
Went streaking in broad daylight — $15
* Been arrested — $5
* Spent time in jail — $15
* Peed in the pool — $0.50
* Played spin the bottle — $5
* Done something you regret — $20
* Had sex with your best friend — $20
* Had sex with someone you work with at work — $25
* Had anal sex — $80
* Lied to your mate — $5
* Lied to your mate about the sex being good — $25

Seriously, how did my number get so high? I swear I have never had sex for money, but that's all I'm sayin'.
Tally it up and Title it…"My Fine Is…"
Do it, you just might shock yourself. Then, let me know so I can check yours out and I don't have to feel so naughty all by my lonesome. Chop, chop...

Happy Happy Harper!

This girl, I swear if she isn't tired or sleeping, she's smiling!



She's so pretty. I'm keeping her.

psssst! You haven't delurked yet have you? Yes you! I know who you are. See that number when you scroll down as far as you can? That means I know who you are and you should stop in and say hi! I'm nice, really!

I love me some stuff...

I am a phase kind of girl. I go through these strange phases with everything in my life. For six months I'll drink the same Starbucks drink then something will catch my eye, I'll try it and that will be my new fave. There was also a Gatorade in there somewhere.

The same for products. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by smells. I get tired of everything having a scent. Really, think about it. You take a shower. You use shampoo, conditioner, soap for my pits and girly stuff, then body wash. You get out, dry off, apply deodorant, slather on the lotion and probably apply some styling product. Then you finish with a spray of something, cologne, perfume, whatever. Hello! How many smells?

So I go all anti-smells sometimes and do unscented everything. Other times I am obsessed with finding a new perfume. My point? Yeah right, my point. I thought it might be fun to tell you all the stuff I am really "into" at this particular moment. Don't hold me to this tomorrow ...

1) All Natural Chapstick- It is light on you lips but has this amazing sweetish buttery smell. I was slathering it on in the car and told my husband "I'd bathe in it if I could." He gave me this look, the same one he gave me when I told him I liked to pretend that Jason Mraz was singing to me whenever I heard the song "You and I both." (I still love that song too, so there.)

2) Buttermilk Bath Soak- It smells so good but doesn't leave you smelling crazy strong. I got two pints for Christmas and one is half gone. I love a bath before bed.

3) Sensual Amber- Ok, this probably is strange, because Bath and Body stuff is usually just too sweet and too smelly, but this reminds me of my favorite sexy perfume, Chance. I love that perfume but it is so rich smelling, I only wear it when I am going out and dressed up. Two things that rarely happen and almost never happen together. So when I smelled Sensual Amber I loved that it was a lotion that I didn't feel strange wearing at home in yoga pants, carrying a baby on my hip.

4) Mint Mojito Orbit- this gum is delish and helps keep your teeth feeling sqeaky clean. Just don't get in the tub after a two year loses his gum in it!

So that's enough for today. Maybe I'll continue with my essential baby stuff next. Oh and for those of you wondering about my favorite Starbucks drink right now, and I know you were. Iced Passion Tea. I am trying to lighten up on the caffeine for the sake of my baby girl. She prefers non-coffee flavored boobie milk.

Just one more thing. It is De-lurking week, so stop in and say Hi! Holla!

Where the hell is my helmet?

You know those days you think you'd be better off locked in a room with padded walls. It's one of those...

Alternate Title:
Child for Sale Cute as a button, Wild as a Dingo!

And I wonder about baby weight...

Today Pedro came home for lunch bringing the whole fam McDonald's. We were all sitting at the table indulging on our gourmet food and I was telling Pedro how I again today had to apologize to Mason for being grouchy. Sometimes I feel like such a rag of a Mom, I hate it! Any way we were talking about this and Mason interrupts with a formal introduction.
"Dada, This is my friend Mama." pointing at me and being so completely serious. That kid. He makes me want to be a better person.

Photo Blog Yo !

I am trying to learn to like our Mac, but it is pretty foreign.

Today I played around with photo booth. It was pretty exciting!


Then we got ca-raaaazy!


Then I got some sugar!


Then I got very serious!


It was time for me to be a Mom(and to look a little cross eyed apparently)!


And finally I got the urge...

...strange, very strange. I know.

What a difference a year makes.

Every once in a while I get these huge reality doses that strike me so hard in the chest it's a wonder I am still breathing. This one happened exactly one year ago. It was one irresponsible night. A night my husband and I acted like carefree teenagers. The night that Harper was conceived.

It is so clear for some reason and I am not sure why. I knew the timing was right on schedule and I worried immediately. Then I blocked it out, for 7 weeks. My friend even called about a week after "the night" to tell me she had had a dream that I was pregnant. I told her "she was on crack" verbatim. In only six weeks I would find out that I was indeed pregnant. I would cry when I got the results because I was not ready to have a baby again. I am ashamed to admit that.

The nine months where filled with emotions and so much fear. How could I possibly split all the love I have for Mason with another baby. I've been told everyone experiences those exact feelings. And everyone tells you "you just do. You find a way and you just do." And they are right, sort of. I've never had to split it. I feel like a am able to give more love now. As if once my baby was born, I filled up with love ready to give instead.

So now one year later I look at my most perfect baby girl and wonder how I could have ever been unsure about having another baby. She is sweet and smiley and easy going, the perfect addition to our family. So now looking back exactly one year all I can think is, "Thank God for our one crazy, irresponsible night."

What up Grinch!

What is my problem? Just 2 weeks ago we put up all our Christmas decorations. Today I am taking them all down. I want the tree out tonight. This time of year is so stressful and exhausting that I just want my regular life back. How exhausting? So much so that I didn't take a single picture of our Christmas. I didn't send out a single Christmas card. And so completely exhausting that all the cut-out cookies are gone, and that takes a lot of energy to eat that many cookies.

So I am moving on and you won't hear another blub about Christmas until next year.

Happy New Year!

Another Birthday...

To my college crush,
my bestfriend,
my babies' daddy,
my lover.
Happy Birthday Mike!

Happy Birthday Mason!

Dear Mason,
Yesterday you turned 3 years old. My gosh, where is the time going? It feels like just yesterday that I sat down and wrote to you on your second birthday.

The past year has been crazy. You have become so much more independent yet you still need a bunch of snuggle time throughout the day. Don't worry about me, I love that about you and drop everything when you just want to snuggle because I know deep down that you won't be like that forever. I'm taking it all in. You still nurse once a day during the week, right before nap time. The weekends almost never since your Dada puts you to sleep then. We've nursed a looooong time now Mason, so when your ready to be done just let me know. I never thought I'd be one of those people that nurse their kids until 3, but I am proud to say now that I am. It's amazing, the things we do for our kids.

Last year I talked about all the things you could say and the cute things you did at that time but that would take me forever this year. This year you say everything and are able to do just about everything an average person can do. You are by no means average though. You have got personality plus! A few weeks ago your Dad did something that really made me mad. He went to play basketball like he does every Wednesday and the hour that he is usually gone began to get a little longer until he was gone just about 2 hours. I was mad, really mad and I lost it a little. Not my proudest moment. I think I said something like, "This basketball stuff is really starting to Piss. Me. Off!" You then did an Oscar worthy performance of "Dada you really Piss. Me. Off!" with hand gestures and all. The tense situation turned immediately to tears of laughter. It's nice to know you've got my back!

One of my favorite memories of the past year was the week we spent in Mexico. You loved the airplane, you loved the beach, and you slept like a champ. Even though your dad and I got a little sick, you made sure we still left our room because you were healthy as a horse and ready to party like a rockstar! That would be our last trip ever as a threesome. You were awesome and made the trip one I will never forget.

Sometimes I feel a little guilty about spending much of your last year pregnant. My patience left little to be desired and as your dad says, "I was pretty hormonal." I feel like I should have spent more time with you before we became a family of four. I was telling someone about the guilt I felt and they assured me I was giving you the best gift anyone could ever give, a sibling! That instantly made me feel better and has ever since. I hope someday you'll agree.

Your sister loves you to pieces. Even when you squeeze her a lot too hard and do cannon balls that end up partially on top of her, she almost always ends up giving you the hugest smile that your Dad and I work so hard to get. I hope everyday that the two of you will grow up to be as close as a brother and sister can be.


Although you are no longer an only child, you still hold a very special place in my heart. The day you were born was the most amazing day of my life because it was the day I went from being a woman to a mother. Something that only happens once in lifetime and something I've wanted my whole life but I never knew. So thank you Mason, Thank you for making my most amazing dream come true! I can't wait to see what the next year brings.



Love, Mama

The factory is closed!

I've been having these weird emotions lately. I love my babies more than anything. I'd do anything for them and cannot imagine them not being part of our little family. But, I am pretty sure the factory is closed and that makes me a little sad. Today I got the Mirena, birth control that is good for 5 years!

The fact is I love having babies. Really I do! I even love the delivery part, ask Pedro. I am not sure I have ever heard someone else say that, but I loved it for both my babies and they were worlds apart. Yes, it is damn hard work, it hurts worse than anything you can imagine, but I loved it. I'm a freak now, aren't I? I think part of it is how amazing I think my body is for just knowing what to do. I think we under estimate our bodies and this is one of it's truly amazing abilities. However if having babies never got any harder than the delivery, I'd probably have 10, maybe 12! Ok maybe not, but definitely more than 2.

But here's the catch. Raising kids is really damn hard. It is exhausting and challenging and at times can put a big stress on a marriage. I love what I have. I feel so fortunate to have the healthy, spunky kids I have that at times get freaked out to think about tempting fate. So for now I'm shut down for business (or until 5 years is up).

O Christmas tree...

This weekend we decorated for Christmas. Pedro went and picked a perfect tree again with a little less girth than the one from last year. We spent the night on friday decorating until it was perfect while listening to Christmas music. We all went to bed at a normal time after having a great night. Harper woke up at 4 to eat. We went into the living room, plopped down on the couch and she went to town. After about 5 minutes I looked over to my left and noticed the Christmas tree lying on the couch next to me. The tree had fallen completely over at some point during the night and we hadn't heard a thing.
The next morning we redid a bunch of the orniments that had fallen off and Pedro made sure the tree was a whole lot more sturdy.

Potpourri for $400, Alex

I just needed a little blogging break,I guess.

* The space key is broken on our computer. Too much excitement watching noggin online for someone in our house hold. Also reallydamnhard to type.

* Friday was my 29th birthday. I felt very old while watching a Real World rerun and they were all, "Ohmagod, You're 22? I'm 22. We are all 22!" Whatever that was so 7 years ago.

* Harper is freakishly tall(what up Pedro genes 6'6"). We are getting a new carseat stat. The carrier that snaps into the base is totally unsafe for her. We have the shoulder straps adjusted to the highest notch and they fall right around the middle of her arms. I am guessing it would not be pretty in an accident.

* I have a new site, but I have issues. The template on it can only be used with a Mac, and I am not sure I am ready to commit to only using that. I am still a PC girl I guess.

* Mason made me laugh today. He does everyday but today two things stuck out.

First, he was playing with a doll he just got. It was for Harper, but he loves it and I have no problem with that. He went and got two more from Harper's room and had them all together. He was playing so sweetly, putting them to sleep and such. I thought I'd encourage him farther by telling him he could name them. They were all girl dolls so I started giving him ideas.
Me: "You could name one Sally or Suzie or Molly or Harper..."
Him: "or racecar or dump truck..."
I guess he really is a boy.

Next, I was nursing him before his nap and then laid him down.
Mason: "Love you Mama, thank you for the milky, I drank it all. Just like juice!"
God I love that kid!

* Tonight I start teaching yoga again. Wish me luck. I hope my bladder functions have returned to normal...

That is enough for today. Wanna know what's on my Christmas list? I think I just might post it. Tomorrow.