My Belly. It's a growin!

No, I am not showing at all yet, but my pants, they don't fit! So I have found these things that look amazing! In the early stages of pregnancy, you wear it folded over the top of your jeans and you can leave your uncomfortable jeans/pants unbuttoned. Later, when you have a big 'ol belly, you wear it all pulled up for belly support and to cover the lower stretch mark scared part of your belly. Not that I know anything about stretchmarks, my stomach is ,ahem, like butta'. Then the coolest part, you can wear it after delivery while nursing to cover up the post-partum pooch! I think I am sold. I may have to splurge and buy a couple today! Now the next question, what colors to get? Do I stick to basic black and white that'll go with everthing, or, do I get all fun and festive?

It's Heart Day Everyone!

OK, I'm back and feeling better today. I woke up today, got into the shower and noticed both eyebrows were totally sore. Yah, I did the ugly cry way too much yesterday. But I am done now, and I am moving on...but first I have to tell you what Mason did during my second sob fest. SO I am sitting on the couch sobbing and He crawls up onto my lap and says "hiiiii Maaamaaa!" over and over while looking at me. Then he proceeds to touch the tears that are rolling down my cheeks and says, "Uh oh cheek!" I think I'll keep him. It is the little things like that, that just make everything seem Ok.

So today was the LaLeche League meeting I go to once a month. I love going! It is one of the few places I can go and talk to a bunch of Moms that parent the same way I do. OK, so it is like a support group for me and all my issues, whatever, I still love it. I drive the 40 minute drive and sit and wait, no one is coming. It was moved a week early, but I didn't know since I had missed last months meeting. I finally packed up my boy and made the 40 minute trek back home. It was OK though, it got me out of the house.

I got my gift from Pedro and it was perfect! It was one of those small gifts that mean so much because you can tell how much thought went into it. I got a sweet card, not sappy though because clearly I've cried enough lately. Mason got me a manicure and pedicure gift certificate, AWESOME! And my favorite lover got me two Sex in the City special edition DVDs. Tonight we are going out to dinner, the three of us. These two men in my life are the best things that have ever happened to me and I can't imagine spending Valentine's day with anyone else.

I Love You Both!

How I hate to be Debby Downer but...

This pregnancy is starting to destroy me. I am not very nauseous, boobies still don't hurt, but my God am I exhausted. Over the past 7 days, I have taken a nap 6 of those and still cannot wait to get into bed for the night by 9. Now I know that is very common to be worn out at the beginning and end of pregnancy, but I feel like it is so unfair to my full-energy toddler. Yesterday and today it hit me like a ton of bricks..."How in the hell am I going to be able to do this?"
A few weeks ago I started to think Mason's outburst were lessoning, how wrong I was. We are back to square-one and back to head-butting the tile kitchen floor. I used to think I was a pretty patient Mom, but lately I feel like nothing more than a failure in that department. I am yelling way more than I know I should, and I can't help but blame myself for my 2-year-old son mirroring my childish actions.
I am not writing this to get all kinds of feedback on what a great mom I seem like. I don't want that. I am writing to get the way I am feeling off my chest.
I know my hormones are raging. I know I am exhausted. I know Mason is at a rough age. But still it doesn't help my to feel like any less of a failure right now! So now I am going to take my crying induced, puffy face self down to bed for a much needed nap.

A few things...

First of all, last night Pedro and I when to our first p.o.e.t.s club. No, we aren't much into poetry. This stands for: piss on everything tomorrow's Saturday. It is a club of late 20-30 somethings, almost all with kids, that have realized they do almost nothing outside of the home. So, for one Friday night per month we socialize, like with real adults! It was really fun to just get out and wear real clothes. It was a short outing from about 7-9 then we had to pick up our boy at my parents. Good times were had by all!

Second, my first Dr. appointment is coming up. This here state of WI does this whole thing kind of strange. In FL where Mason was conceived, they saw me at 6 weeks to determine if there was a heartbeat. Now, here they wait until you are 12 weeks pregnant to even see you. Yes, I understand the part of your body determining what will happen in the first 12 weeks, but I also read different info too. I read, that if a heartbeat is detected between 7-11weeks, the baby has a 90% chance of success. But, since I an in WI I guess I just have to deal with the way things are done. But my point is, I am not seeing a DR. I got in with the only midwife in the city. I feel like it is the way for me to go and I can't wait to meet her.

And last, my blog should have a new look soon. Pedro works in Advertising and has a lot of "computer friendly" friends. One of which is working on a blog design for me! I can't wait! So look for new changes hopefully in the next week or two. Until then, you'll just have to be patient.

Another Controversial Post from Yours Truly!

Does everyone have their hard hat on? Good. Then let's begin. I know I have briefly commented before that I am not very religious. I truly hope to be someday, but for right now, my faith, it isn't very strong. I have great admiration for people who know what they believe and follow it with devotion but I am not there yet. I could go into why I think I am not religious, but that would take days and then you would get very, very bored. So, here is the micro-version. I come from a very religious family also one of the most disfunctional families I know. I think I have some bitter feelings about the hypocritical ways of my family. Being a perfect citizen while at church, yet at home finding it OK to drink yourself crazy and be the most hurtful, toxic person one could ever want to be around. I never want to be like that, EVER! These are my issues and what I have found through my own self-diagnosis (I know, I know it's worth a grain of salt.)
Until I find the faith, I try to be a good person in other ways. I try to not judge others. I try to help those who need help, even if it is a simple as giving someone less fortunate a shopping cart that I paid .25 for. I think it feels great to make someone I don't know smile. You know, the good old fashioned "Golden Rule". That is what I believe in.
With that being said, a few days ago I got a phone call it was a man calling from a church.
He started by asking, "Can I ask for your opinion?"
"Sure!"
"Well, since Jesus stepped foot..."
And on and on and on he went. I could tell it was going to be a long time before it was time for my opinion. When I could finally interject I told him I really was not interested in taking part.
First of all, I felt misled. I felt offended. And I felt like I was being preached at! I thought this guy wanted my opinion! He just preached to me. I don't understand how soliciting phone calls makes people believe they are more devout. At what point does recruiting for a church (which was this mans ultimate reason for calling)become soliciting? I just don't get it!
So lets turn the tables now, shall we? Lets just say I was Jewish or Buddhist and I called this man to tell him about the way I think the world came about. Referring to my "god". I guess I'll never know, but I can only assume that I would not be very well received. So why is that? What happened to the rule that we all should live by, The Golden Rule: treat others as you want to be treated. Wouldn't that be amazing if the world operated that way?

My Son. He is a boob man at heart!

Yesterday morning I was sitting in the living room and in comes Mason carrying one of my very used, very unattractive, very big nursing bras. I gave him a look of shock and all he could say was,
"Mamas Milky!"
In that second I was so happy that I was alone at my house. I am not ashamed of still nursing him. It is the size of that atrocious thing that is so breathtaking!

The dirty, dirty details!

It has been confirmed that I need to be about 4 feet from Pedro when he sneezes and I become pregnant! Seriously, sometimes I wonder how things happen. But, what a gift huh?
I know I am speaking early, but this pregnancy has been amazing. With Mason, I was a slave to the white thrown from 6 weeks until about 4.5 months. I was miserable. Every morning it was a routine. Mike would wake-up for work, go and get me my sea-bands. I'd wait until my stomach felt somewhat sturdy then try to stand up. It always resulted in me kneeling on the bathroom floor with Pedro holding my hair back. The nice thing was that I didn't gain a pound until I was 5 months along! Don't worry though, I caught up with the weight thing. I also spotted throughout. Scary, but I guess pretty common.
Well, this time everything is so different it is hard to believe I am really preggo! I never got the sore boobies, haven't felt the least bit nauseous, and I have a ton of energy. I think I have taken one nap since I have found out. And I am 2/3rds through the first trimester, SWEET! I'll take it! It was obviously supposed to happen ! Everything happens for a reason, right?

The exciting post that I promised!

It all started around the 3rd of January, after the busy holidays. My friend Jill called and said, "I am calling you because I haven't talked to you in over a week, and I feel like you are pregnant!" I nearly choked on my own saliva. "You are definately on CRACK! I am not pregnant." The weeks came and went, and I blogged a whole bunch about how I am terrified of having more babies. For those of you who don't know, I had a rough pregnancy. I had 4 ultrasounds by the time I was 5 months pregnant. It was rough!
Well, sometime last week I noticed that my period still hadn't shown up. I mentioned it to Pedro who was ecstatic. "Go get a pregnancy test, I want to know!"
To which I replied, "No, I'll wait until mid-week, I am sure it'll be here then."
Since I am still nursing, My period is always a little late and I know it always shows up. I started doing the math, and I was really late, like REALLY late, like 15 days late.

Oh My God!

I went and got a test, peed a little on a stick and a little on my hand. Before I could put it down...BAM 2 pink lines.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am officially carrying my second baby! I went to the Dr. yesterday for a blood test and yup, sure thing, as preggo as a girl can be at 8 weeks.

I am scared to death, a lot shocked, and very excited all at once. I am still nursing my boy and plan to until he hopefully weans sometime before baby 2 arrives. So that is the scoop. Again, sorry about the lame posts since last week. It was hard to write about anything without "spilling the beans". Keep your fingers crossed that this pregnancy is smoother than the last.

Skiing 101

Where to start? A few days ago, Pedro, my very persistent other half began telling me to take my skis in to have a tune-up. (For those of you who didn't know, I have recently decided that I am retiring my snowboard and returning to skiing, a lesser threat of dying!)And, because I didn't want to use my skis from 7th grade, no seriously, 7th grade! I decided to borrow my mother in laws. Her skis are much newer however she hasn't "hit the slopes" since 2000. So in hind sight the skis really probably did need a tune-up. Well, cheapass me didn't want to pay the $25 dollars to go skiing one time, so I didn't have a tune-up.

Fast forward to last night. We got to the hill, bought the tickets and we were standing right by the chair lift. I laid my skis down, put my toe in first stepped down and the back of my binding when flying off... the skis were broken and I ended up renting to the "tune" of $31.00. God, I hate when he is right!

After all that, we had a great time. We started with the easier hills and worked up to a few of the more difficult. I looked very burnt marshmallow-ish in my ginormous puffy coat. But, some would say, "skiing is not about looking good, it is about skiing good." To those people I say, "psha."

Some of the highlights of the evening:
1. Getting into my snowboarding pants from 5 years ago. They were a bit tighter than they used to be, but they were zipped and buttoned none the less.

2. Hanging out with other "crazy" parents that never leave their kids either. "Birds of a feather flock together." "It takes a crazy to know a crazy."

3. Making out on the chair lift, duh!

Wish Me Luck!

I am off for my ski date! I'll try to take some sweet pics. It is beautiful here today; a perfect day for frolicking in the snow! So "wish me luck", but not to "break a leg " because that hits a little too close to home!

So Sorry!

My posts have been anything but exciting lately, I am very sorry about that! I am promising a great, super, fantastic post, by Friday, seriously! Other than that, We are in that process of getting our vacation put together. I called our trusty travel agent, and she is on the JOB! So, it really is happening, we are going to a warm, sunny, sandy place. We have decided that an all-inclusive is the way to go! It seems like a lot of money up-front, but we figure it is cheaper in the long run. The boy is free $, we eat A LOT$$, and you barely need to bring any money with you since everything is paid before hand. A couple of dollars for tips and you get served like you are English royalty. I am so there with my dollar bills.

I have been astonished with how healthy Mason has been this year, quick everyone, knock on wood! He hasn't had a cold since August! We all had the flu after New Years, but even though you feel like you will die, it is so short-lived, it is easier than a cold. Maybe the special boobie potion is finally proving it's superior germ fighting properties. Or could it be that I wash my kids hands till the top layer peels off, I kid, I kid!

Tomorrow, my friend Jill and her husband are driving up and we are having a double date at the Ski hill, without children. I can't wait. I'll try to get a few pictures if I can figure out how to keep from destroying my camera.

Post 100!

This is my 100th post on this here bloggy thingy. Is that remarkable or what. I know I should have a spectacular entry, but I've got nothing! Well, maybe a few more random discussion pieces. Have I mentioned that I got a sweet digital camera for Christmas, with all the bells and whistles. It even has a setting for photographing children (meaning it is as fast as a film camera). Guess where it is...in the box still. I am scared to use it! I use my father-in-laws hand-me-down because I sort of know how it works. And I did just learn how to use the timer on that sucker! I also got Photoshop, but I haven't put it on my computer ! Did I mention these where Christmas gifts. A new blog design is another gift I got from Pedro, but we'll see if that ever happens.

Another thing I've been meaning to do is to update my links. There are a bunch of blogs I read and I should really give them a "shout out" and a "boo-ya" while I am at it. God, what has gotten into me? I've become a blubbering idiot!

Off to put the boy to bed, myself soon to follow.

A bunch of random nothing. . .

A writers block, again!

Yesterday, Pedro got home from work and we took our favorite pug, Otto to get his yearly shot updates. On the way there, my gaseous other half tried to casually let one fly.
"tinky fout."
Yes! At least my son is learning how to combine words and express thoughts!



Thanks for all your vacation suggestions. Ms. Mamma and Isabel had awesome ideas. We are looking into both.

So what do you think about the winter T.V. line up?
I have to say, I am getting very into the Bachelor in Paris. Is it me, or is he into the very young ones? He is diggin' the super young college party animals. I can't wait to see the girls getting all whorish in the hot tubs. It happens every season.
I am also into the MTV reality. "There and Back" has sucked me in. There is something intriguing about a boy band star who now has NO money left. As in -$27.00 and a baby on the way. Now that is reality.
Then of course there is "Meet the Barkers". The complete opposite as the previous. They are rolling in money. She sleeps until noon everyday, has a nanny for each child. Makes me sick. I just think about those poor kids. "No, you can't go see your Mama. She is sleeping, you can see her at lunchtime, if you are lucky." Um, isn't that half of their day, without their Mama? Sad. But remember, she is an awesome mom. It even says it on the introduction to the show every week, so she must be!

The house we are "flipping" next door, is sucking all our weekend energy, but is coming along. I can't wait to post before and after pics for you all to see. It is tiny but very cute.

Enough rambling, nonsense for one day. Be sure to check back for more verbal diarrhea!

Sun, Sand and Bling!

We are dying to go on a vacation over here! We would love to go to an all-inclusive again like our honeymoon, but we are afraid to even get price quotes. When we went 4 years ago, we stayed at a plush all-inclusive in Riviera Maya and our whole trip was under 2000. Florida is always an inexpensive option, but you hate to overstay your welcome, which I fear won't be long with a 2yr old in tote. Uh, what to do? Another option is to do a last minute travel vacation. I have heard that you can get awesome deals booking last minute, as in like half-price. That would be sweet, and maybe I could feel a little exciting once again, all impulsive and caarraazzy! My ears are open for any suggestions.

Master Desructo strikes again.

How long does the destruction phase of toddlerhood last? Thank God my newest set of dishes were pretty much "blue light specials", because the boy thinks it is ok to give them a toss now and then.
Tonight after a very glamorous dinner of caesar salad and take and bake pizza, I thought I had everything cleaned up and put away. I realized very quickly after the sound of a glass plate shattering, that I had forgotten one measly dish. Who knew? We really didn't need that plate anyway. Really, what is the use of having 8 of everything? Does anyone really care if there place set has an Elmo plate instead? But, I have to say I handled it with grace (as much grace as I could bare). I put Mason immediately in time out while I cleaned up the shards, when I was done, ah-hem, *exactly two minutes later( the appropriate amount of time for a 2 year old)I took Mason to the trash can and showed him the plate. I am going freaking crazy! I feel like his sole mission these days is to destroy! When will it stop? I want the madness to stop!

*give or take a few or ten!

It's all about me!

Since I've never done a 1oo things about me list and always wanted to. . . I thought I'd start compiling a list of things that you might want to know, or maybe not.

1. I am the third of 3 children, my sister is 14 years older than me. . .we were both oops'.

2. I have lived in 3 states, WI, TX and FL.
3. I am a natural blonde. When I lived in FL I had my hair low-lighted because in was white from the sun and kind of albino-ish.
4. I met my husband by flashing him, yup, bartime in college. A very proud moment!
5. I love Sushi, I crave sushi.
6. While pregnant I once left work early to buy a jar of jalapeno peppers. I craved spicy then.
7. I wear natural deoderant, it really works for me.
8. I am the worst germaphobe I know. Sometimes it prevents me from going places.
9. I have a bachelors of science degree in Health Promotion a minor in psych, ironic?
10. I love talking about breastfeeding, maybe because it was such a struggle?
11. I still breastfeed my 25 month-old son.
12. I try not to be a nursing nazi, but I think I still sort of am.
13. My water broke in my yoga class, 6 weeks early, it gushed!
14. I used to be a huge party girl, HUGE! Now I am pretty lame.
15. Of my family of 5, 3 are alcoholics. Thankfully I am not one of them.
16. I love to vaccuum. Even more I like to empty the canister to see how much stuff I picked up.
17. I've never been told I looked like someone famous, I sort of wish I did.
18. I long for a vacation. Someplace beachy.
19. I am addicted to Sex in the City, I really want the entire box set.
20. I still think my husband is very hot!
21. He is the best dad I know, besides my own.
22. I have a boy pug, Otto. I used to have a girl pug, Maki, who drowned tragically while we were on vacation.

23. I want a little black girl pug and I want to name her Ebi (eh-bee).
24. Religion is really not a big part of my life right now, I sometime wish it was.
25. I am not sure what I believe in.
26. My favorite beach is a nude beach, Yes, I go nude, ALWAYS!
27. I teach beginner yoga one day per week.
28. I am a coffee snob. I hate bad coffee.
29. I LOVE really good coffee.
30. We buy organic coffee and generic cereal.
31. I love to shop.
32. Target and Sam's Club are two of my faves.
33. I am scared to get pregnant again.
34. Earthworms freak me out!
35. I would love to eat only what I grow.
36. I want to have chickens some day, my husband won't let me.
37. I was a dancer for many years.
38. I like to sing, but never around people.
39. I have fine relationships with all my past boyfriends.
40. I remember almost nothing from highschool and almost everything from college.
41. I was kicked out of my house for 2 weeks in highschool, I remember that!
42. My mom drove me crazy until I had a baby.
43. Now she is one of the only people I trust with Mason.
44. On my 12th birthday, my dad bought me a bb gun!
45. We still tease him about it.
46. I love to ski, water and snow.
47. I have a snowboard too, but I always get hurt on it, so I am going back to skiing.
48. I'd love to ski on a real mountain.
49. I want to go back to school to get my RN, someday.
50. I have become a blog-aholic.
51. I am 5'7" but I always tell people I am 5'8"
52. I am a good cook.
53. An even better baker, ask me about my banana cake with cream cheese frosting.
54. I secretly love the song I Don't Know Much by Aaron Neville and Linda Ronstat.
55. I love Pottery Barn catalogs and dream about the day that I can afford to furnish my home with it.
56. My entire family eats pickles and cheese together.
57. Now my husband does too.
58. I think it is super cheesy when people use dh when talking about their husbands.
59. WI cheese really is better.
60. I love massages, and pedicures.
61. I rarely get them.
62. I have one tattoo and have had 2 body piercings.
63. I still want to get my nose pierced, maybe someday I will.
64. I love the smell of fall.
65. I hate how your nose freezes together on super cold winter days.
66. I wish I were really good at taking pictures, but I am not.
67. We are in the process of "flipping" our first investment home.
68. It is a lot of frickin' work.
69. I am not sure if there will be a second.
70. Somedays I want to have 4 kids, other days, just the one I have.
71. My dogs paws smell like fritos.
72. I like the smell.
73. My personality type is ENFP.
74. Basically that means I talk a lot.
75. I love clean sheets, I sleep better.
76. Line - dried crunchy towels too.
77. I could never work with old people, it takes a special person to do that.
78. In my purse you'll find 3 anti-bacterial products( see #8).
79. Purell, wet-ones, and clorox wipes.
80. Also chapstick and my wallet.
81. I hate onions and love garlic.
82. I love all things carb- related.
83. I love to read, wish I read more.
84. I think my teeth are huge my husbands are too!
85. We always joke about our poor big-teeth children.
86. I have never been skinny, I never will.
87. I am at peace with that.
88. My husband and I couldn't agree on a name for our son.
89. So we named him after us, Mike and Ann's Son.
90. I love reality TV.
91. My husband hates it!
92. We rarely watch TV together.
93. I didn't eat red meat until I started dating my carnivorous husband.
94. We've been together for 6 years, married for 4.
95. I have turned him into a mild germiphobe.
96. I want to go to NY so I can shop on Canal Street.
97. I also want to go to Laguna Beach, not because on the TV show, I swear.
98. I cry very easily since becoming a Mom.
99. Becoming a Mom is the best thing that has happened to me.
100. My life is good, and getting better every day.

A post ya'll may want to skip...

Whenever I am writing on this here blog thingy, I always have to stop myself from using ya'll. Why? I have no idea. Even though I don't think I have ever said it out loud, it seems very natural for me to write it. And why, you might ask, do I refrain. I feel like you have to be from the south, a true southerner, to use that special little contraction. But, since this is my special little place, I am turning over a new leaf, and I am going to use ya'll whenever I get the urge (even if I am from central Wisconsin).
Here Goes:

Ya'll, I have been working on a post for the past two days, All About Me. Whenever I check out other blogs, I always read the 100 things about Me. I think ya'll can learn a lot about a person. I should have it posted sometime this afternoon. Ya'll come back now, you here? (OK, I might just go throw up now from the cheese factor.) Hopefully I got all that "ya'll" business out of my system and I'll never feel the urge to use it again!

A Post of Pictures. . .

Yay for camera timers. Boo for not being at all centered.

Yay for a cute boy picture. Boo for not noticing the toothepaste until the fifth picture.

Yay for quirky, mischievious smiles. Boo for the naughtiness about to happen.

Let's just pretend he's an angel, and the naughtiness never happened, OK?

What the Hell!

I need help you guys. I was trying to figure out the timer on my camera and I did! I got a cute picture of the boy and me and tried to replace the old thumbnail up in the upper right corner. It won't work, well it sort of does...If you click on the old picture the new one pops up. Not what I had hoped for. Try it. Any suggestions? Why am I so blog challenged?

EDITED! OK never mind. Once I put up a new post, the new pic is there. Enjoy!
GOD! Do they offer remedial blogger classes, geez!

Don't let the bed bugs bite...mmuuuuhhhhhhhaaa!

Did any of you watch the Today Show yesterday? The very cute Matt Lauer did a segment on pillows and it was a freaking nightmare (pun not intended, but I'll go with it!). Seriously it was horrifying. They talked about all the things that were found on the average person's pillow like, dead skin, hair mites, body excretions and secretions (so lot's of people are apparently freaks in the bedroom), fungi and the list goes on and on. They also talked about how the weight of your pillow and mattress double in like 5 years time, all due to skin being trapped inside. Oh My God! Now you all are aware of my germiphobia, but luckily, on Tuesday morning I did a little online shopping and bought myself these and my finicky husband these. Before you think I am completely psycho about germs, let me remind you that I has heard nothing about this segment, so there!
After the segment was over and my eyes unglued and the gagging stopped, I called my minorly germiphobic mom and asked her if she had seen the segment. She hadn't and said, "So let me guess...you are never using a pillow again." Thanks Mom you have a very special way of confirming my insecurities. So, I'll rest assured as soon as my pillows get here. As far as sleeping elswhere, I'm doomed. I hope you all have a wonderful nights sleep. Sweet dreams!
Quick note: This week is de-lurking week. What this means is that you should say "Hi" while you are here. I know there are a couple hundred of you here daily and I'd love to hear from you.

My Baby Boy is a Model!

For those of you who don't know, I have a very good friend who is very into photography. This friend, Megan, has recently started her own business and has a very cool website that you should definitely check out. Another reason, you can see my very handsome boy in her children/infant gallery. I think his photos are 24-29. You've got to check her out and say "hi!" Tell her I sent you.
*maybe she'll continue to take pictures of my boy then even when she's uber famous!

Pimps and Ho's Welcome!

Alright, I have been hesitating on writing this, because I really don't want it to come across the wrong way BUT. . .
. . .I have this neighbor. He is very cute, 54, in exceptional physical shape, and owns one of the nicest houses on our block. He is the director of the home furniture department at a nice department store downtown. He also has his own business of selling window treatments. Yes, he is gay. He has a partner who he has had for years, and they spend every weekend together at my neighbors house. He is the nicest guy and has been nothing but awesome to have as a next door neighbor. There have been rumors that this guy, we'll call him D, has another business as well.
Now this is where things get fishy. Rumors suck and I hate to be a part of them, but as much as I hate them, I still listened. It is said that D is a male escort, ahem, to put it nicely. So with that being said, yikes! When we first heard about this, Pedro and I were in complete denial. "He is way to professional to have a side job". . .or is he? Lately, things next door have been making me seriously question myself.

• about 5 different men frequent D's house on a weekly basis. but I have friends who stop by weekly.
• of these men, there are a couple who do drive by after drive by, as if waiting for him to get home. if I go to a friends house and her car is not there, I'd probably keep going.
• these men never stop over if the well-known partner is there. maybe they don't get along with the partner???
• these other men never stay more than an hour, ever! Oh God, I know I am a chatty Kathy, but come on, don't most people visit longer than an hour occasionally?
• some of these men leave with seriously flushed cheeks. yup, they're doing the nasty, then going home to they're families. eeeewwww!

Ok, so am I wrong here? Am I over-reacting? What I really want to know is, "Do I have a homosexual whore house next door?" Because eeeww, no one wants to live next to that, or am I prudish?

Now, with that being said, I am in no way bothered by the gay lifestyle. In fact, some of the people closest to me happen to be gay. Great, fine , fantastic! And lets be realistic here, I straight whore house would be just as gross, if not grosser, no? So let me know how it sounds to you, puh-leez, prove me wrong.

*Any gay bashing comments will be deleted immediately. Just be nice, OK?

Housekeeping

Hey everyone. I think we are finally on our upswing of getting healthy. FYI something happened to my blog and I wasn't able to see anything on my sidebar. If you are having the same issue when you are here retype the address without the www and it comes up perfect.
http://glamgranola.blogspot.com

Update!

We are at day three of "the sickness". The barfing has stopped and the pooing has begun. Some would say "that's a good thing" however I am extremely nauseas today and that is not a good combo. I need a nanny just for changing runny poo diapers. Any takers? Oh, come on! Chickens.

Our version of a crazy Friday night. . .

Friday night was beautiful here. The snow had been falling pretty much all day. For those of you amateur snowman makers, the snow has to be just the right consistancy, and it was. We popped this baby up in a half hour. Then I decided I didn't want any old snowman, I wanted a gourmet one, hence the green olive eyes and the thai pepper eyebrows. Are you all impressed now?

We have a puker!

I've been too busy to blog lately. The Holidays, need I say more? They're over and I couldn't be happier. Now I need to get my ass back into shape! It was nice to have Pedro home a few extra days, but now of course the day he has to go back to work, Mason wakes at 5am puking! Oh what fun! I am on wash load #4 and outfit #3 for me. I lost count for him. Apparently I am way nicer to puke on than the puke bowl. He literally turns his head away from it and throws up all down my chest. Ah, the joys of Motherhood!
This bug is a really weird one. When he is not puking, he is playing as usual. He keeps drinking water and has eaten, but nothing wants to stay down. I know when I am really sick, I can't even think about eating or drinking. Also, no runny poo or a fever, hmmm, I just hope I can avoid this one. As we speak, he is crashed out on the living room(something that has never happened) floor on a mound of towels and an old pillow. It is a whole lot easier to strip off one towel at a time.
Our New Years Eve was fun. We went over to a friends house and were home by 10 and in bed by 11. We are super exciting these days, let me tell you! I should go check on the boy. I have pics to upload later. Wish me and my antibodies luck!

Chucky my boy. . .

I have to say, and this may not be pretty, I have begun to get nervous about my darling boys behavior. He is turning into a bully. And, GOD, no one wants a bully for a kid. This weekend Mason saw his cousin (we'll call him BIG) who is 9 months younger but the same size and beat up on him the whole time. Mason would push him down, slap him with both hands and even put him in a head lock and proceeded to drag him on the wood floor. AWESOME! I can't even count how many timeouts he had. He even got to the point of smacking BIG then putting himself into timeout. Well that is just great. I am firm believer in the philosophy of "not apologizing for your kid/s" I think it sends the wrong message. But, I can't help but worry that this is a reflection of parenting style. What is a lady to do? I don't want to beat the boy(OK,well maybe I do sometimes, BUT I DON'T!) Timeouts are being proved un-effective, and we are very consistent with the way we do them.

*We put him in and a non-distracting place, where he stays for the entire 2 minutes without restraint.

*Once the 2 minutes is up, we go to him, get down to his level, explain what the "no no" was.

*We have him say sorry to whomever he hurt.

*Then give him and hug/kiss and tell him "all done, go play." and we drop it.

So what the hell are we doing wrong? Then, last night we went out to eat at Perkins. When we got there we found out it was kids night. They had movies playing and activities for the kids. Mason wanted to go over there so after he was done eating, Mike took him. And then he came back without the boy. "there is a lady over there who watches them, so she told me I could leave and she'd watch him." We were both skeptical and we didn't think Mason would last long. . .He didn't. Within 5 minute this adult babysitter brings him back to us "He is beating up on the older kids!" I swear, those were her exact words. EMBARRASSING! That is all I can say.

I want to hope that this is just a phase, but it sucks. No one wants to play with a mean kid, so what do I do next? We are really trying to do everything "right" with discipline, but it is not working at all! HELP!

Christmas Eve

Late night,

way later,

morning results!

Worth every penny!

Merry Christmas to all. . .

. . .and to all a goodnight! May your holiday be filled with as little stress as possible and may you all enjoy your families (as disfunctional as they may be, wink).
P.S.
If you see Santa, tell him we could use his help assembling this massive train table with 8000 bridges, tracks and trains. Thanks!

Crabby Pants and Pedicures

What the hell?
First of all, Mason has slept through the night for the past 4 nights. Awesome! The downside, he has been getting up before 6am. Rough! To me this whole "sleeping through the night" business seems pretty over-rated. Before, he'd get up around 4am I'd nurse him for about 10 minutes and he'd sleep until 7 at least. Now, pshaaa, I'd give anything to sleep that late. So what do I do? I can't encourage the kid to wake up during the night, but he clearly is not getting enough sleep.
Second, his naps, they're jacked. He went three days without and I was terrified that this may have been the end of napping. Then the past 3 days, he took huge naps again. At least 3 hours. Now today no nap again and he woke at 5:30 am. I cannot figure it out. I just can't believe that he'd go from needing a super long nap to none at all. It doesn't seem possibe. He was yawning this morning already at 9:30. He asks for "nigh,nigh" then he stands in his crib and screams. It is literally making me crazy!
So, what is a crazy woman to do, I had my nails done. I am not a polish person, but I love to sit in a massage chair while someone is shaving DNA off my feet with a cheese slicer. The more shredded cheese/skin I see on the towel, the more I think my $40 is money well spent. Mind you this was first the man/ped since I was preggo so I was over due. The downside, my germiphobia. While the girl was doing my nails she nicked my cuticle and it turned pink and blead a little tiny bit. No big deal, accidents happen all the time. But then I start thinking if other people blood is in the cuticle oil, "could I get HIV or what about HEP B?" I wondered how long blood could survive it the different solutions. I know, I know I should really talk to someone about it. Have I ever mention that I know incubation periods for cold and flu viruses.
EXAPLE: So, say Mason played with a sick kid on Tuesday, If Thursday night he is not showing any signs of getting sick, good. If Friday he is good, he is in the clear, 72 hours and you are home free.
Enough about my issues, I am tired and I need to go to bed now so I can be ready to play at 5:30. Yippee!

Spoiled Rotten

And I wouldn't want it any other way. I thought I was done with shopping for my sweet boy, but something happened. Something magical. . . have you seen the Thomas train table at Barnes and Noble? Well let me just tell you that Mason adores that thing! I found a sweet train table about 2 weeks ago that came with all the goods and had two stash drawers. I decided to buy it and at the very end, "sorry, sold out. We'll email you when more come in." That Sucks!
Today I was just playing around on-line and tried to order it again, it went through! So then I got suckered into paying for 2 day shipping, an additional $63 dollars. But my boy will have the Train Table of his dreams, on Christmas morning. I can't wait to see his beaming face. (remind me of this Christmas Eve when we are up all night putting it together, all 200 pieces.

Don't worry about me. . .

I'm just over here pulling out my eyelashes one by one. Seriously, close to it. Be thankful I waited until today to post. Otherwise you would've had to wade through the F*bombs to get to my point. Point is, my beautiful little boy did not take a nap in 3 days. THREE DAYS PEOPLE! To me, that is torture. For those of you who know me well, Mason is a super napper that takes a 2.5 to 4 hour nap every day. I get everything done in that time. Needless to say, I've gotten nothing done since Friday and have had an unbarable toddler to boot. AAggghhh!
But, do you hear that, aahh, it is the sound of silence as my darling boy sleeps. So I am off to catch up on everything that didn't get done.
Toodles!

Two years ago today...

Mason,
It is hard to believe you are 2 today! You have come so far from the tiny preemie I had two years ago, yet a lot about you still holds true today. When you decided you were ready to come out, out you came. You didn't care that you were supposed to "cook" another six weeks. It was pretty scarey those first few days, but you were a fighter. And you are still a fighter. You fight me changing your diaper, you fight when it is time to leave the train table at Barnes and Noble, and you fight when you are tired of me taking to long at the grocery store. Anyone who has spent any amount of time around you has commented "what a busy boy." That you are, a busy boy!

You have developed quite a personality and you definitely have some quirks. You still hardly eat. Unless of course it is some green vegetable. I am not joking. The other nightI made a super nice dinner and after your thrid helping of green beans, we thought it was time for you to eat something else, no such luck. We then laughed and wondered how many other parents have to limit the amount of vegetables there kids eat. You still nurse though and really have shown no signs of stopping. I sometimes wish you would, but I have to say I relish those before bed sessions in the rocking chair. I love your warm, baby scented body nuzzled up close to me and sometimes wish I could just stop time and stay there with you forever.

Your language has recently astonished your Dada and I. You repeat everything and have now started putting your own thoughts together. The other night your Dada left the car to run in the house and you immediately got worried and said,"Dada back?" You love to tattle on yourself too. If I am in the other room and I hear "wha di do doo?" I come running to figure out what did you do. You are great at naming animals too. This week we had your picture taken. The very patient girl kept trying to get you to laugh with a stuffed frog then a feather duster, then a lady bug, then back to the frog. You blurted out "fauk!" The shocked girl asked what you said and I quickly defended you saying " That's right, it is a frog!" You are also really into singing and dancing. Your Dada and I love watching you perform your own rendition of the Wiggles "Rock-a-bye Your Bear". It is the cutest ever! You are also completely into trucks, tractors and trains. You love to say Hi to them "ha twac-tew!". You also give your favorite truck and train (Lony) kisses before you go off to bed.

Speaking of your Dada, watching the two of you brings me to tears often. You have these special little things you do. You are not the typical little polite boy who shakes hands, your Dada went all out and taught you the "bumping knuckles" thing. You know where you make a fist and touch another persons knuckles with yours. It is amazing sitting back and watching both of you light-up from the joy of being around the other. You are a very lucky boy to have a Dad who adores you as much as your Dad does.

I know it sounds funny Mason but the love I have for you grows everyday. I now understand the things I use to hear about "loving so much it hurts". I can't even describe it, but I have these overwhelming feelings in my chest and throat when we have special times together, that I have never felt before. I love it when I am busy doing something and you get right in my face, rub my arm and say "Ha Mama!" I love it when your Dada brings you in to wake me up each morning. Seeing your smiling face is the best way to wake up, hands down. I love it when you give kisses and you always have to make a "mmmmm" sound before you will kiss. There are so many thing I love about you I could go on for days. You have made my life so exciting and I can't wait to see how you grow over the next year. You are an amazing little person and make me so happy and if I can make you half as happy as you've made me. . .my job has been a success.

I love you Mason!
Mama

Plumber Crack Central

For those of you who have or have had a two-year old, oh screw it, if you ever will have a two-year old, BEWARE! This morning I planned on finishing up my Christmas shopping. I showered and put on make-up while my curious two-year old watched. Fine, I am used to that part. But, while I was drying my hair, Mason decided to drop my wedding band down the drain! No, not my whole ring, but still, my platinum wedding band with a few little diamonds in it! I freaked, but for some reason I never yelled. Mason cowered when he saw the look of terror on my face. My arm-pits immediately started to drip. At first I could see it in the stopper so I tried to gently pull that up, it fell further. Then I could see it stuck on a little hook so I went and got to ka-bob skewers, I knocked it off the hook, and down it fell. I panicked. I tried to call Pedro, but of course couldn't reach him, so I pulled out the big guns. I knew I had to unscrew the pipes to get to the trap. That shit is TIGHT, but adrenaline kicked in and after about 5 minutes I managed to get it. I was not (wretch) ready for the smell. (wretch) It smelled so bad(wretch) like. . .GOD, I can't even describe it bad! And the black chunky liquid that came out, disgusting! But in that sludge was my sparkling ring, of coarse with a little black stuff hanging from it(gag). I have my ring and that is all that matters. So now, in honor of my work today, go out and kiss (make-out with) your plumber and tell them how much you appreciate what they do! Nasty!

We've got high hopes for our boy!

You've all heard of the Naked Cowboy right? You know, the one who plays his guitar on the busy streets of NY? Well move over Super-size, theres a small-fry ready to take your place.

And apperently he really is proud of his boobies.

and pampers.

What can I say, he'll do great things one day! Ahh, he makes us so proud.

Santa Baby, I'm not feelin' you!

Santa, you freak me out alittle,

but here's my best poker face.

Snowy Saturday

We did it, but we didn't. We participated in the biggest caroling cluster ever, yet I highly doubt there were any records made. Tons of cute pics were taken but you'll have to wait until tomorrow for those. Or if you are really impatient and just can't wait that long. Ms. Mamma posted all about it (pictures too!).

Where my Girls at?

I am asking for help. Please help me feel normal. . .I believe that every married couple has there share of issues. I also believe that those issues stem from one big issue. It is the holiday season and that means a time for our (myself and Pedro) issues to magnify themselves into one festering boil that just needs to be popped. What I am asking for is for you my fellow readers in one word to define your big marital issue. One word so as not to incriminate oneself. For example: One of my best friends has blowout fights/arguments reguarding money. They figure out a way to eliminate their issue, and it returns a week later in a different form.
The one word post : Finances.
Let me get the ball rolling, mine: In-laws.
Don't be shy, reply!

Christmas Random

First of all, I have a new favorite Christmas song. It is, drumroll please. . . God Rest ye Marry Gentlemen by the BNL and Sarah McLaughlin. I am sure I totally butchered the spelling on that one, but you gotta check it out. I can't possibly listen to it without a little hip wiggle, even in public. I got it off of itunes. If I were blog-ified enough, I would put it on here for you all to hear, but I am not so you are on your own.
Next, tomorrow morning ms. mamma and I are taking the boys to get into the Guinness book of World Records. I knew something great would happen to me one day, and here we frickin' go! We have this cool part of our downtown called the 400 block (god is that original). Anyway it is this big grassy area framed by city streets and there are often cool things that take place there. In the summer they have concerts every Wednesday night where most people bring picnic-y type food and you can even bring booze to get wasted while watching. But usually it consists of lots of "crunchy" people, occasionally bellydancing. In the fall I took Mason to a petting zoo there. Germ Phobic me took Mason but only because they gave out mini free bottles of Purell. I digress. So about tomorrow. It is a big Christmas Caroling Cluster! It should be pretty neat if the 4000 people expected really do show up. Look for me in the upcoming edition of the Guinness book. You can also find me in the glossary under, Mom with the least patients with a two-year old. Another Post

The Chill Pug

The Chill Pug
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.

Seriously, he is the most awesome dog ever. The pug needs some credit!

The Girth Tree

The Girth Tree
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.

Here is the tree. The bottom is a little sparse, but apperently "Master of Destruction" likes it that way!

Weekend Hoopla

** If I could, let me start by saying I will not be taking Mason shopping anywhere by myself anymore. We just got back from Sam's Club, just to buy diapers, and he was terrible! To give you an idea, one of the deli people asked if they could give him some ice cream so he would "shut the hell up!" OK so a bit of exaggeration but really, you get the point, who walks out and offers free ice cream from a deli? I didn't have the heart to tell the guy that my kid doesn't eat, and could care less about ice cream, so I graciously thanked him and shoved a spoonful into my noisy boy's mouth!(again, a tad exaggeration, no need for protective services.)

After eating cake throughout the day Friday, we had two parties to go to that night. Ms. Mamma had a party so we spent the majority of the night there. It is always fun for Mason to play with her "Snowflake." We planned on having my parents babysit, but they ended up at the party with us.

Saturday, we got our Christmas tree, or as some advertise Holiday tree, LAME! Pedro and I were like the blind leading the blind. We had no idea what to look for in a tree. We ended up getting a perfect tree, a tad more girth than I would normally like, but it is nice. It is all decorated and sparkly. I'll post a picture later. By the way, have any of you heard of spinners? No, not the ones that spin dubs on the Escalade, the ones for the Christmas tree. They are so cool. I saw them at the first party we were at on Friday night, and I knew I just had to have them. They replace a little bulb on a string of lights and you hang your prettiest ornament from it and it slowly spins it! It is the neatest!

Now today starts round two of my teaching. I teach my afterschool program today and Wednesday from 3:15- 5:00, and I teach my yoga class just Mondays from 6:30 - 7:30. The yoga class has become a very welcome break that I just happen to get paid for! For the afterschool program I am teaching a childcare class and I am more that welcome to bring my own boy to be the guinea pig. If they can take care of him, they pass with flying, freaking colors! I have no lesson plans ready though so today during nap-time, my quiet time will be spent doing that. I'll keep you all posted.

My ass is growing!

My ass is growing!
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.

mmmmm. . .cake! from Cold Stone!

My Syndrome.

Tomorrow is a big day, it is my 28th birthday. I plan on staying home and eating cake, lots of freakin' cake. My husband came home for lunch, and I made sure to put in my request,
"I decided what kind of cake I want for my birthday. I huge chocolate chip cookie!"

I have always had this annoying tendancy to use "My Birthday" for all it is worth. I vividly remember a college roomate saying, "Oh your one of those on your Birthday." Yes everyone, I am. I love to get breakfast in bed, the laundry folded, and any other tasks I hate to do on a daily basis done for me. I even went so far as saying to my husband, "Are you going to leave all your lunch stuff out for me to clean-up? Tomorrow is my birthday." It's Ok, you don't have to read that last line twice, it really didn't make sense anyway! I will not be going out, I probably won't even have a glass of wine (because it still messes with my boy's sleep). I'll be at home tomorrow with the two most important men in my life. That is if I don't annoy them out of the house with my crazy birthday syndrome.
note: I really am not 12 but. . . I just did spell check and freakin came up with suggestion to change to foreskin. bahaha

Swimmin'

pool 001
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.

It is miserable here. All the snow has melted and instead it is windy and pouring rain! Sometimes I question what the hell I was thinking to move from warm and sunny Florida to cold and wet Wisconsin. So, to brighten up my day and whoever else it experiencing winter weather. . .I give you this!

A Spark of Holiday Spirit

I know a few of us bloggers have written about random people that give random comments, that tend to offend us in some way. When I say random, I mean just that, someone we have never seen or talked to in our lives. Since it seems to be so easy for me to point out the negative, I just have to tell you what I saw today.

My mom and I weren't brave enough to fight the crowds yesterday, but some how we were today. That 24 hours didn't make it a whole lot better! So, we were at TJMaxx and it was packed. It was crowded and loud and, ugh, just chaotic. But amongst all the clatter of the shoppers you could hear a little girl, screaming, really screaming, an all out meltdown. She wanted something and her mom apparently said no which sent the girl into a fit of rage. The Mom of this little girl stayed very calm and stuck to her guns, not willing to give in. She ignored the fit, tried to distract the little girl, but nothing worked. After about 5 minutes you could see the mom becoming defeated. Her cheeks where red as tomatoes and her neck and chest where a blotchy reddish/purplish color from embarrassment. Everyone was looking at this point. Some rolling their eyes wondering why she wasn't "taking care" of the situation, others trying to help graciously. But there was this one woman, probably in her 70's that walked by the mom and quietly said, "It is OK, we've all been there. Just relax." It seemed like the sweetest, most perfect thing to say to the desperate mom. I am not sure what the mom ended up doing after that, I was so taken back by the older woman. I guess it just hit really close to home. It is nice to know that there are people out there that realize how difficult it can be to raise a "spirited" child. I have to admit also that I was extremely happy to have left my spirited child at home with his spirited dad.

Holiday Shmoliday bla bla bla. . .

At what point do holidays stop being days we look forward to and start becoming the dreaded days?
I feel sort of bad about his. I guess I feel sort of selfish. I mean, everyone needs a piece of you and you give all this time and travel and energy, and what part do you have left to enjoy? Then of course there is the whole part about feeling guilty. "What if we spend 5.6 hours with one side of the family and 8.3 with the other? Will the 5.6 side be offended?" Blah, blah, blah. I have been with my husband for 6 years now, and this whole thing should be figured out by now, right? Wrong. It causes more stress now than ever since there is a little person involved. I sometimes just wish there was a rule book for the married couple. It would read something like this...
1. Holidays with that end with -day are strictly optional. You don't feel like participation, don't.
2. You got a kid? You decide how you want to celebrate with your child.
3. Starting your own traditions are very important! No questions asked.
4. etc. etc.

I have been scouring every book store to find such a handbook, but no such luck. Until then, you can find me at the butcher. You want a piece of me too? There is an ass muscle that hasn't been claimed yet and is up for grabs!

Scrooge
-signing off

Victoria's Secret...Here I Come !

Let me paint a picture if I can. . . hot pink floral capris at least 2 sizes too big, blue worn-out college t-shirt, and last but not least my suede slipper boots. OK, so I would even admit I probably didn't look quite hot enough to be a Victoria's Secret model, but I didn't think I looked that bad. Maybe in was the falling out ponytail on the top of my head. . .what ever it was apparently was not real fly!
It was around 9 pm and I was getting ready for bed in the bathroom, bent over the sink spitting out a wad of foam. I could feel someone staring at me, only one person looks at me around that time of night. . .night time nooky! Oh how wrong I was. When I looked over to meet the gazing eyes of my husband, he was looking at me in awe, laughing!
"What are you wearing!"
"Pajamas!"
"Where is the camera? I've get to get a picture."
Only then did I look down and notice how trashy I looked. I was embarrassed for a second that my own husband was seeing my like this! But I had a reputation to keep. . .
"Don't you dare take a picture or I'll hurt you!"
I didn't take them off though. For some reason, I needed to have one last night with my duds. Needless too say, there was no nookie had in this house.
So last night, I went out by myself and bought some new PJ's. Nothing sexy, but better than what I was wearing. Hopefully now my husband can look at me without laughing!

By the way Pedro, no chance I am giving up my booties!

I try to do the right thing. . . Really!

**For word: I am sorry if this may offend, but this is MY outlet and a girl needs to vent before she blows!

Two days ago, I get a call from my husband who was at work. He was calling because his older brother had called and asked him when we were planning on celebrating Mason's 2nd Birthday. Yes, I know, we needed to get on top of it anyway being it was a little over a month away. . .but who does that. I would never call someone and ask when they planned on having a party, what if they didn't plan on inviting me! Well of course we would have invited him, I just didn't think it was very appropriate. So. . .We decided that we'd have a get together on Mason's actual Birthday since it was a Saturday. What better day for a party than a Saturday, right? Well that is what we thought. We've been brainstorming about what we plan on doing and talked a little about it this morning when my over-polite husband says,
"Oh, by the way. . .we are suppose to switch the date for Mason's party because my Dad's christmas party is that day."
All I could say is,
"Are you serious? Well then just let me know when it works for everyone to have the party and we'll have it then."
Is that right? Should I really have to do that? I mean, there is a point to 'keeping the peace' but really this is ridiculous to me.
At this point, I am really going to wait and let my in-laws decide what date is most convenient for them, and we'll have the party for my son then. Gaaahhh!

Sometimes I question whether I am going crazy by letting these things bother me. . .how would you feel?

Name that Bodily Function. . .

Last night we were all in the car and my always polite and cosiderate husband let a huge fart! Before I could tell him how sick it was, Mason yelled "Poop!"
"No Honey, not a full blown poop, but I am sure skid marks are involved!"

Have you had a Susser today?

I have created a monster! Mason is on his hunger strike again and over the past 2 days has eaten almost nothing! I know I should not worry, he is healthy and growing just fine, however I know he has got to be hungry. He has been pretty fussy lately too, which I can't help but think is do to hunger. So. . . when he gets extremely whiney I ask, "are you hungry, what do you want?" The only thing he he replies is "Susser, Susser peeeaassee!"
Ladies and gentlemen, I have a sucker whore on my hands!

Mason the BOY!

First Hair trim 003
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.

Here is a glimps of the mini trim. Ho looks older now, don't you think? Wwwwaaaahhhh!

The Baby is now a Boy!

It has been and exciting day for us! Mason-my baby got his first hair trim. No, not a cut a hair trim. I immediately told my hairstylist that she could not call it a haircut or she would not only have to deal with a unruly boy, but also a sobbing mom. I am not sure why this was so hard for me. A few times during the 5 minutes it took her I felt drips of nervous sweat falling from my armpits. But, I did it and survived without a tear shed. He looks very cute. I would not let her give him the traditional "boy" cut, because my boy is just not. . .traditional. So now that some of the 6 inch pieces are caught up to the 2 inch pieces, I think I'll be growing it out!
In other news. . .Tonight before his bath, like everynight, Mason sat on his potty. However instead of his typical high-pressure fart, the boy went pee in the potty. We cheered, we clapped, and even saved it for Dada( who went through the same celebration again). What a bittersweet day. Call me lame again, but it is as hard to watch your baby grow into a little person as it is beautiful.

There is a Warrant for my Arrest!

Seriously, I am sure they could charge me with something, I was definitely a smart-ass. It went something like this:

Cop trying to make $: "Hi is this Mrs. ****?"

Me: "Yes it is."

C: "Hi, I am Officer 'Douchebag' and I know that you want to help keep your neighborhood safe, right?"

Me: "Yup! But I don't have money to give you!"

C: " It is only $15.00 and you get a decal too. I'll even give you a couple of weeks to save up. . . I'll take an extra coffee break in your honor!?"

(bite your tongue Ann. . . Seriously! But, he didn't just say that he'd take an extra coffee break on my account did he? I've never been very good at holding back what I really think, so. . . )

Me: "Will you stop at Krispy Kreme in my honor too?"

C: " You are out of control! Will you donate?"

Me: "No Thanks!"

C: "Bye."

So I am sure he is looking up my record as we speak. Life goes on, even if I am looking over my shoulder for the next 5 years waiting to be arrested!

The Mystery of the Magic Word Unveiled

Today it all became clear as the why those few world in the English language are called "magic words".

Mason woke normally from his nap today and usually to keep him from his one track boobie mind, I offer him something to drink and a healthy snack. Maybe an apple or some cheese crackers and raisins. Whatever, you get my point. Well today, I left out the Halloween candy that I was snacking on during his nap. Mason spotted it immediately and found his favorite. . . a tootsie pop. After trying a few minutes to get off the wrapper himself, he held the sucker up to me and said, "peeeaaasssee, pppeeeaaasssee." Now how could I say "No" when he is saying the magic word? So, the boy got his sucker. Little does he know I would have given him about anything as a result of that powerful little word coming from my baby's mouth.

Hello,my name is Ann and I. . .am LAME.

I have been neglecting my beloved blog, BAD! But what can I say, I have been a busy, busy girl. The house #2: coming along. The naughty boy: naughty as ever, brings my to tears almost daily now! My lame job: LAME. No let me rephrase that, I am lame because I just can't seem to handle it all. Yes, I only work 4 hours per week, but it is so much more than that. I have to make sure I have a sitter, ( who is eating me out of house and home in one hour flat). Make sure I time what time Mason wakes up from his nap, because all hell breaks loose if Mama or Dada aren't the ones to get him out of his crib. Then, I listen to him scream as a shut the door behind me. Laugh if you will, but I am not handling this job with much grace. I think I'll be done with my afterschool program next week, for good. My Yoga class is awesome and have agreed to keep that up. Hopefully this means me work load will go from a whimpy 4 hours to a measly 1 hour per week.
In other news my wonderful niece gave me a lesson on how to use my blog to it's full potential. So, by next week I should be airing exerpts from my favorite porno! Keep watching!

Monkey Mason

halloween 010
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.

Mason was a monkey this year when he wore his hat. . .Goldmember without. Doesn't he look so much older? There are more pics on flickr

Halloween of the Past

Last Year's Halloween!
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.

Since tomorrow is the day for dress up (even though it is not officially Halloween), I thought I'd post last years picture. Mason was 10 mos. and boy was he a chub! I think he weighs the same now! It makes me a little sad to see how fast he is growing up! Cliche' I know, but still the truth. Happy Halloween My Love. Make Mama and Dada proud and score us a bunch of candy!

Monster Mash . . .this is not about Halloween either!

I just got back from lunch with my friend Jill, her kids, her mom and lil sister. So the demographics where something like this: 3 adults, 3 children, and one MONSTER! Yes, today Mason takes the title of Monster Child. HE. WAS. AWFUL!! (notice double exclamation points!) We got there and the first thing he did was climb under the table and proceed to eat any morsels of food he found. quick note: he did this at the same time I was using a Clorox wipe to disinfect his highchair! Have I ever mentioned how I feel about Karma? Then once the kid had an actual plate of food in front of him, he liked my friends mom's plate way more! He decided he was done eating about 45 seconds later and crawled out of his highchair. I caught him and he showed me who was boss by smearing both arms of my black shirt with refried beans. I finally decided it was hopeless and took him out of the highchair. He took off like a worldclass sprinter through the restaurant. When I captured him, he proceeded to arch the back, scream like I was ripping off his toenails, and kick his legs like a mother! I was sweating by this point and contemplated putting him in the car in his carseat so I could eat! I had flashes of legal cases in my head and tried to recall at what point it is not neglect to leave a child unattended in a parked car. Anyone know about this law? I may need to know really soon. I am exausted and pissed. Thank God the kid still takes naps! I am off to go call my friend to apoligize for ruining her lunch!

A Note:

Dear Pumpkin Smasher,
I hope you got off smashing our neighborhood pumpkins. I hope you pulled a muscle in your back in the process of breaking our 40 lb. pumpkin. I hope you are embarrassed when you can't "perform" with your pubesent nasty little girlfriend. I hope she tells your whole class about you. Waahhh! Karma is a bitch. Best Wishes and Happy Halloween!
Toodles!

My crystal ball says. . .

I am screwed until we sell this house! Not our house, that other house that we are "flipping". It was a productive weekend at the other house! We now have all the landscaping over-grown crap chopped down and yanked, but now we have to figure out what to put in its spot. (mind you we will be trying to sell in January.) We also got the ceilings painted in the entire house, the dining room/living room painted, new shutters on the house and the garage painted. breathe
Now today is my busy day. I teach my K and 1st graders from 4-5 and then teach yoga from 6:30 -7:30. For my faithful viewers that were wondering how my first class went. . . Awesome! I was so worked up about teaching I had the poops! I decided I'd practice on my kids in the afternoon. Some of them were so into it, it totally eased my mind. When it was time to teach the adults it went so well. I had 13 women show up and no one talked at the beginning. At the end of class 5 different women came up tp me and told me how much they enjoyed it! They are already concerned about what they'll do after the 6 weeks are up. I have already been asked if I'll keep teaching! Hello Ego Booster! I am not one to toot my own horn but, "toot freakin toot"!!! Tonight is class 2 and I hope it goes as well as the first, I musn't dissapoint!

Peek!

10-14-2005-18
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.

I LOVE this picture!

Have you hugged a tree lately?

10-14-2005-10
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.

What can I say the boy loves nature. Who doesn't kiss trees any shance they get? He is crunchy at heart!

Still me with a new look!

Hey everyone. I just was ready for a little change. The dots on the last design were causing me seizures when I would lay in bed at night. Who knows, maybe I 'll have a new design next week too?

Enya's In the House!

Being a stay at home Mom, I occasionally have days where I think to myself,"What in the HELL are you thinking?" I have to admit, I used to have an active social life, I was able at one point to drink more than A beer, and still be able to carry a somewhat intellectual conversation. I said somewhat. Anyway, now I have given all that up, to stay home, wear the very sexy nursing bra, and watch my child grow into a little person. Lately however, Mason is getting pretty naughty. We have this return vent (I think that is what it is called.) that Mason has scaled so many times that it is beyond repair. The place in the plaster where the screws once went could now hold a tube of chapstick. Just recently, I have figured something out. Mason is a very petite eater and there are days that a whole bowl of snacks will disappear in a matter of 2 minutes! Yes I think Mason has made his very own game of chutes and latters out of our perfectly functioning vent. I can't wait for a cold day to crank the heat and hear hulls of poporn popping like Jiffy Pop!
The other day was one of those days. One of those days that I would have traded jobs with the greeter at Wal-mart in a heartbeat. Mason was being so naughty I didn't know what to do. So. . .I did what any desparate Mom would do, I put in a trusty WIGGLES dvd. I escaped to the computer. Within 2 minutes I heard something so loud it jolted my body! Someway, somehow, Mason had opened the "child-proof" armoire turned on the sterio to CD and cranked the volume to about as loud as it could go. I bet you never thought of Enya as ear deafening music. It was! I went bounding down the stairs ready to lose it and when I got down there I could not believe what I saw. Mason was in the middle of the room twirling and dancing to blaring Enya. I started laughing so hard I cried, and all I could do was hug the boy and tell him how much I loved him. I wouldn't change jobs for the world.

my BOY!!!

May-Me Himself
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.

Did I mention that one of the little boys in my class told me that Mason WAS a GIRL! Duuuhhh. . .you have to be a girl if you wear red shoes (even with a dump truck on them) and if your hair isn't a quarter-inch long! Bite me kid! My kid is the cutest kid around and I'm keepin' him. Baby mullet and all!

It's Official. . .

I am a working Mom. Well, sort of. I finished my three hours of work for the week. Monday, my first dayI was a little nervous, OK a lot nervous, but everything turned out fine. I mean who doesn't like to play Duck, duck, goose for a half hour? Then Tuesday, I got really nervous! My Mom (aka Mason's sitter) was very sick and contagious with a mouth full of cold sores. No thank you, you can keep those to yourself. So I had no option but to bring him with me. It went great! Mason was doing all he could to keep up with "If your happy and you know it. . ." Then we spent the rest of to hour having free time on the playground. Everyone loves a playground! I also had a built in babysitter. An adorable little Kindergarten girl Kylie walked behind Mason wherever he went. She pushed him ever so gently on the swings, held his hand on the bridge. . .It was so cute I almost arranged a marriage for the year 2032. So I think my mini job is going to be just fine. Now next week I start my yoga classes on Monday nights. I am pretty nervous for that one. Adults are a little harder to impress than youngin's.

Too Much Stuff . . .

At what point do I say WHOA! I have so much stuff going on (hence to lack of postage). We closed on our "investment house" on Friday and Mike Started roofing it within a half hour of closing. . .I haven't seen him since! The man is a roofing fool, he was conserving his energy by peeing off the roof and not using precious energy to climb the latter for a useless bathroom trip. Hey when you've got the tools to aim why not use them right? Ah, the joys of having man meat.

On another note, I start my JOB today. That's right, I will be starting my afterschool program today. From 4-5 I will be sweating profusely from trying to entertain 14 Kinders and 1st graders. Then next week I start my adult yoga class. It is such a change from just staying home. Although it is only a combined 4 hours, I need to feel somewhat prepared. And I am lacking on that feeling. Anyone willing to send me good vibes BRING IT! I need em'

I'm Stuck Post

Part I

A few nights ago I was woken up at 1:30am to a Mason cry. Don't get me wrong, it is still almost a nightly ritual for him to get up at least once, but this night it was different. This time, it was an "I am scared/ or hurt /or need help cry." I bolted up the stairs or as fast as my legs move at that hour and into his room. Mason was standing up holding onto the side of his crib crying, "th-tuck, th-tuck, th-tuck."The boy was wrapped up in his blanket like a burrito and couldn't move. he was indeed stuck. I couldn't help but laugh after of couse getting him un-raveled. Poor kid is probably having mummy dreams and it isn't even Halloween yet!

Part II
I go in spurts with reading. There was a period pre- Mason was born that I read sometimes 3 books a week. Now post-Mason I am luck to read 6 books a year. I happend to be watching Oprah last week (which I never do anymore because she drives me crazy) and it was her book club show. The book is called A Million Little Pieces. It is non-fiction about addiction, drug and alcohol. It is raw. It is violent. It is absolutely captivating! It hits close to home for me since my family is plagued with addiction and I haven't been able to put it down. Except of course when Mason starts to rip the pages. I have 15 more pages and I promise to be un-stuck!

Happy October!

Copy (3) of orchard 020
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.

Yup, I definately absolutely positively am a MOM!

There have been a few instances over the past 21 months that have confirmed, I mean really confirmed that I AM REALLY A MOM!

10. I have licked my hand and smoothed my sons crazy hair.

9. I have gotten poop on my hand (many times) and didn't bat an eye.

8. I have knowingly drank from a water bottle shared with my son that had visible backwash "floaters".

7. I have used the sleeve of my favorite shirt to wipe a dirty face.

6. I pick someones nose other than my own.

5. I have taken sympathy bites of an unknown pre-moistened food to encourage sharing ( and acted like I loved it!)

4. I can always find a raisin or cheerio or goldfish on the bottom of my purse.

3. I have licked off a "who knows how old" fruit snack stuck on my sons hand before going into a store.

2. My almost 2 year-old son is dressed better than me.

1. I'd do all of it again, because I love him that much!

It hurts so good!

Ok, I am full of mixed emotions! I love 'em and I hate 'em all at the same time. They have turned my house upside down. My son screams and says "mo" all in a second flat. Then he taps his fingers together like he is having a seizure. You may ask what could be causing such a rukus? It is the crack cocaine of the strait and narrow. . .Krispy Kreme.
One of my neighbors happens to work there and gets to bring them home nightly. Who got the gift of evil from last night. . .thats right WE did! Two dozen to be exact, for a family of three. Mmmm, the original glazed does a girl so right and makes me feel so naughty. They are not hot off the line, but all it takes is the zap of a microwave. . .7 seconds to heaven! This is all you'll hear from me for the next few hours. I am busy stuffing my face with glazed demons, Mmmmmmmmm. . .

Orchard Love!

Orchard Love!
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.

We picked apples this weekend at a beautiful orchard! We also realized that since Mason has come into the world, we have not taken a single picture of just us. So this is the forst post Mason picture. All together, aaaaawwwww.

My Soapbox!

"there is now evidence that the longer a child breastfeeds, the higher that child's IQ score and school grades will be in later years, with a dose effect evident even beyond two years of nursing."

For those of you who know me well, I am a huge supporter of breastfeeding. I think it has done wonders in "catching up" my little preemie. But don't get me wrong, it is not for everyone. Some women don't feel comfortable with the whole boob thing, or they can't get past the uncomfortable first few weeks, or whatever other reason they are entitled to have. Then there are always the few men that are weird about sharing. . .whatever. They have they're own issues to work through. Whole other post.
Fortunatly, I have a very supportive husband who has seen first hand the power of breastfeeding. I also have a Mom that is very supportive who breastfed me until I was nearly three. My problem is the other side! I have definately felt more negativity than positivity surrounding my choice to breastfeed my toddler. I am almost sickend by the fact that I have to keep it a secret from other members of my family so they don't think I am "weird". Oh, I am weird alright, you have no idea! But, I absolutely don't think that nursing my toddler is the defining factor.
My question is who decided the appropriate cut-off time for a nursing child to be at exactly 12 months. That is insane to me! Becasue you are now 1 year old, you can no longer go to your mom for nurturing and nourishment. . . because it is coming from her breast? I have switched pediatritions 3 times since Mason has been born because of the furrowed brow looks I got from DR's after telling them I was still breastfeeding. They obviosly haven't been keeping up on their AAP(american academy of Peds) guidelines:

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that "Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child... Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother... There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer." (AAP 2005)

Thus making me question their competency as doctors. So now I have decided to try a doctor who has practiced natural medicine but now is a MD. I have done the research and found nothing but positive reasons for extended breastfeeding, so why the stigma? We are one of the only cultures to be so rigid on the topic, and we have more problems then the majority of the world. What the hell, maybe it is time for me to move to . . .ummm. . . hmmm. I am not sure but I'll give you my address when I go. If I like you that is.

I am done ranting and raving and would love to hear what you think about this whole thing.

The One and Only MAY-ME!

mason
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.

Mason is turning into such a big boy! His vocabulary is going through the roof. He now calls himself by name...MAY-ME. So it isn't exact, but he has definately made progress. Huge steps form POO-SEE,(god only knows what that meant!)He has been talking for a while, but he would never say his name. Now everyone I introduce to you. . .MAY-ME.

Kissing?. . . I like kissing.

You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make
sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,
it can be very satisfactory if he/she is into
you playing the dominant role MEORW!

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by

Ms. Stewart, but you can call me Martha!

martha 010
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.

So maybe I am a little obsessed with her! But seriously I picked all of this from MY garden for dinner tonight! Before I started chopping away I thought I should take a picture of my oh-so-perfect produce! No pesticides either Thank You very much!

The Men in My Life!

pool 008
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.

We spent our Labor Day at my aunt's pool. These are my handsome boys!

busy, busy, busy!

We have been super busy here lately. Mike and I are in the process of buying another house! It is the house directly next door to us, and has been vacant for 5 years now. It needs some TLC, but overall it is a cute little house. Anyone care to be my neighbor? We had the ispection on Tuesday and there were no surprises so that was reassuring. The inpector also thought we got an amazing deal on the house so that was sweet. Who doesn't want a deal!

Also, we have been working away on our own house. Our third bedroom had this nasty paneling that we tried to make "work" by painting a neutral beige color. . .well we just never got used to it. We tore it down last week and have been working on texturing the virgin walls. That is the messiest job ever. . .don't do it. Pay someone else to do it. I started rolling it on with this special roller and could never manage to get more on the walls than I did on the floor so I came up with my own "technique". I covered my hand with a bag and took handfulls of this thick goo and smeared it on in circles like I was waxing a car. It has gone way quicker. The test is to see how it looks once we put the paint on.

And finally, yours truely is getting a job outside the home. I'll be teaching an after-school grant funded program in the area schools. I am feeling ready to be out for small amounts of time. I'll be teaching twice a week from 3 to 5. A total of four whopping hours . Don't Laugh! I said it small amounts! I can't disappoint my little man, he still needs me (my boobs!). What can I say, baby steps!

A Little Ditty. . .

Otto a.k.a Ah-doe
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.

Our very loyal family dog doesn't get close to enough credit, so this entry is for him.
Mason is very into kissing lately. So, when he is not trying to pull off one of Otto's many rolls, detaching his tail, banging his toy hammer on Otto's head, or poking at Otto's butthole, he is following him around saying "mmmmmmmmm. . . " meaning he wants to kiss him. A few days ago Otto gratefully accepted and kissed Mason back, right on/in his mouth. Mason gagged for a few seconds then ran over to the human napkin and wiped his mouth on my shirt. Either my son has acquired my germ phobia or the dog needs a breathmint.

Rockstar in the Making!

Picture 038
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.

Have I mentioned that my son is really into my makeup lately! He does whatever it takes and sneaks every opportunity to get ahold of it. The other day, I took a shower and was putting on some makeup in the bathroom. The phone rang, I went to answer it, came back to the bathroom no more than 30 second later and voila! We have my son with the most creative display of black eyeliner! Fortunately I had the camera close by to capture the moment. The day with the lipstick experiment, I wasn't so lucky!

The boy!

Picture 040
Originally uploaded by glamgranola.

Let's hear it for me! Woohoo I figured it out! So it just takes me a little longer than the average college graduate. I am getting the hang of it, now I just have to learn how to link my favorite sites/blogs. Stay tuned, Seriously!